The First Last Boy(16)

RYAN



Thursday wasn't supposed to be a big deal. Brooklyn was throwing the  cookout to say goodbye to her friends since they were going to head off  to college and she was staying behind. For me, it should have been like  it always had with Tana. Two friends hanging and catching a ride  together. Until she walked out of her house and suddenly I couldn't  concentrate on anything else. I don't know where the fuck Tana got that  scrap of material she was wearing, but there wasn't enough of it to be  called a dress.

The fact that I didn't want other guys looking at how much of her it  revealed burned within me. I wasn't some jealous prick who thought a guy  had a right to approve or disapprove how a girl dressed. I didn't think  a guy had the right to act like a jealous ass, especially if he wasn't  even in a relationship with the girl. I was angrier with myself about  that more than anything. The boundaries of our friendship kept sliding  closer together and the lines were starting to blur. It was supposed to  be Tana. Ryan. Not Tana and Ryan as in a couple. So why the fuck was I  thinking like we were part of a couple? Not wanting other guys to look.  Or to be with her. Why was she all the fuck I could think about lately?

As soon as I parked outside Brooklyn's house, Tana swung the car door  open. She sent me a friendly smile that only made the churning inside of  me get worse. "Thanks for the ride. We don't have to enter together.  That way, if you see someone you want to hook up with, she won't get the  wrong impression that you're with me."

Her comment first stunned, then pissed me off. "It doesn't bother you?"

She picked up the small purse she'd brought along and checked the  contents before snapping it shut. In the makeup she had on, her eyes  looked darker, more mysterious. "It's what you do, Ryan. We're not in a  relationship. Go in and have fun." She slid from the car and the back of  her dress eased up enough for me to get a glimpse of her tanned thigh  and the swell of her tight ass.

I exited the car and trailed behind her, liking the way that her hips  swung in the dress. What she'd said in the car had thrown me out of  sorts and my stomach felt weird. I tried to think friends-only thoughts  as I watched her, but it was hard to concentrate when I knew that soon  there would be nothing between us but our heartbeats.

Inside the packed house, it was like goddamn mating season on the farm.  In seconds Tana was surrounded by assholes masquerading as guys. I'd  gone to school with two of them. The other one I didn't recognize.

"Niiiice, Tana," Asshole #1 said and reached out to stroke her shoulder.

I forced myself to keep walking even though I'd like to rip his hand off  and hold it up over my head like a trophy. Wall to wall people gyrated  to the thumping rock music, bumping into one another, laughing and  shrieking. I threaded my way through them to the kitchen where Brooklyn  had a variety of liquor displayed. One of the demons from my past that  I'd turned to one too many times waited for me in the group. I looked  away. I didn't let myself go that far any more. I still drank but not to  the point that I couldn't even remember my own fucking name.

Brooklyn swayed up to me, sipping from a Solo cup, her eyes amused over  the rim. When she lowered it, she looked pointedly in Tana's direction  and said, "Can't believe you walked away from that."         

     



 

I poured myself a Coke.

Her mouth dropped. "You're not drinking?"

"I'm driving."

She looked past me, then back. "I can get someone else to take you home, so feel free to have a few."

"I came with Tana. I'm driving her home."

She slapped her forehead, then smirked. "Oh, that's right. And as a good  friend, you want to make sure you're there for her. As her friend, you  want to watch out for her. You're not fooling me, Ryan."

"Fuck off."

She leaned closer and smiled, reminding me of a cat watching a mouse.  "It's okay. I won't tell her." Brooklyn irritated me sometimes, but not  half as bad as Tana's friend Shelby.

I downed half the Coke. "Tell her what?"

"That you love her."

I glanced toward the living room where Tana was dancing with Asshole #2. "We're friends."

"With future benefits, I hear."

Shit. I should have known Tana would talk to her friends about us. "You  seem awfully interested in Tana's life. Might be helpful if you get one  of your own."

She laughed and took another swig of her drink. "With the way my  brothers hover over me, sometimes it seems like all I get to do is live  vicariously through my friends." She looked around the room. "But since  they're not here tonight, I plan on eating great food, getting wasted  and having drunken party sex. In that order."

Weaving out of the kitchen, Brooklyn moved into the crowd and slid her  arms around a guy. He immediately started grinding against her. Brooklyn  was crazy. Me, in love with Tana? What a joke. No, what I felt for her  wasn't love. It was friendship. She was beautiful, kind, and sexy as  hell. Too sexy for my peace of mind lately. All I wanted was for her to  have a good life. For her dreams to come true. Nothing more to it than  that.

I backed up and sat on a stool, resigning myself to a few hours of boredom.





Chapter Seven

TANA



Sam, the guy I was dancing with seemed to have four hands and they kept  roaming my body. The third time I moved his hands off my ass, I told him  to knock it off.

He laughed and lowered his hand again to squeeze my ass hard enough for  it to hurt. He pushed up the back of my dress. "You like playing hard to  get?" He dipped his head and tried to kiss me.

I turned my head away so that his slobbering kiss landed on the side of  my face. When his hands tightened and he tried to rub himself against  me, I pushed back and brought my knee up to nail him in the balls.

"Oh!" He doubled over. "Bitch!" he moaned and cupped himself.

"No means no, asshole." I shoved him away from me and went to get a  drink. The music was giving me a headache. I'd danced for an hour and  the cookout wasn't nearly as fun as I'd thought it would be. I walked  into the kitchen and my feet became glued in place.

Ryan was sitting on a stool at the counter. A blonde had her arms  wrapped around his waist, leaning into him, pressing her breasts against  his chest. To my relief, Ryan wasn't kissing her. He had his hands on  her waist to hold her back.

"One kiss, Ryan. You used to like the way I kissed."

"No, I liked the way you gave head. Go kiss your boyfriend."

She giggled and waved a hand dismissively. "He's out back in the pool."  She ran her hand up Ryan's thigh and squeezed. "You and I could do a  quickie."

I felt sick at the sight of her hand on him and at the thought that he might take her up on the offer.

"Maybe you should join him in the pool and cool off." Ryan let go of her.

The blonde took the rejection with a jutting pout of her lower lip and glared at me as she brushed past.

Ryan raised his eyes to mine and it was like in the movies when the  background noise faded. All the people disappeared and only Ryan was  there in the house with me. I moved forward in slow motion until I stood  in front of him. Raising my arms, I put my hands on either side of his  face and leaned forward until our lips touched.

Before I could do more than give him a whisper of a kiss, Ryan was on  his feet and he wasn't happy with me. "How much have you had to drink?"

I frowned. "I don't know. Not much."

"Uh huh."

"I'm not drunk, so if you're worried about taking advantage of me, don't be. Kiss me."

"Don't be shy, man. Give the girl a kiss," a guy behind me said.

I whirled around to see Cooper. He looked a little worse for wear today  in jeans and a T-shirt with his dark hair tousled. His blue eyes were  ice cold and his expression tense. I wondered what was going on with  him.         

     



 

"Cooper," Ryan said, and the two bumped fists. When Cooper moved his  arm, I saw several dark tattoos that looked like angel wings with words  in the center of them that I couldn't read.

"Heard there was some shit with Chanos."

"Nothing I can't handle," Ryan said.

"If it turns into something, call me."

"Yeah, thanks, man."

Cooper's gaze swung to me, raking over my figure from head to toe before  he raised an eyebrow at Ryan. They had some kind of secret  communication that I didn't understand.

"Coop. No." Ryan didn't say anything more, but Cooper's expression  changed and he nodded. He walked over to the kitchen counter and helped  himself to a beer. Twisting off the cap, he threw it toward the garbage  can.

I figured out what he'd meant with the raised eyebrow look at Ryan. He'd  thought I was one of the girls in line for Ryan's revolving bedroom  door. "I'm Ryan's friend," I stressed the word friend.

He grinned, clearly not believing me. "If that's your story."