The First Last Boy(13)

"Dumbass, I'm not Kmart. Do I look like I'm offering you a fucking  layaway plan? One week." I stared him down until he lowered his gaze,  then I hit Juvante on the arm and we turned to leave.

"He'll come through, man," Juvante said as we walked back to the Charger.

He had to. I didn't want to be tangled up with Chanos like I'd been  before. He had a way of owning your soul. Too young and stupid to fear  even death back then, I hadn't cared what I'd done. When a man doesn't  care, he doesn't think he has anything to lose. But that was before  Tana. Now, I knew I had everything to lose.





Chapter Six

TANA



It was almost nine when Ryan pulled up outside my house. I'd told  Brooklyn and Shelby to go on ahead since we were taking separate cars.  Brooklyn had questioned whether or not Ryan was going to show when  Shelby had given her a look and said, "For Tana, Ryan always shows up."

I didn't say anything to that because it was the truth. Ryan had always  been around when I'd needed him. I stepped outside and locked the front  door, then hurried to the Charger, shading my eyes at the brightness of  the headlights cutting a path through the darkness. Ryan got out and  jogged around the front to open the passenger door. "Hang on." He dove  into the car and pulled a box off the seat, then walked to stick it in  the trunk. "Sorry. Cooper said he was going to drop by the party and  that's a piece for his car."

"No problem."

"Hey." Ryan put out his arm to stop me from getting in. "I'm sorry about earlier."

Puzzled, I frowned. "Earlier?"

"The garage."

"You're sorry for kissing me?" That would seriously suck if he did  regret kissing me after how it had impacted me. I didn't want him to be  sorry.

His beautiful eyes darkened. "No, not for kissing you. I lost control. I  shouldn't have picked you up and put you on the desk like that. I let  it go too far. The place is dirty and it stinks and-"

I put a finger against his lips. "I didn't notice any of that."

He put his hands on my waist in the same spot where his hands had been  when he'd lifted me up onto the desk. "I gripped you pretty hard. Did I  hurt you?"

A lump gathered in my throat at the concern on his face. On the outside,  Ryan looked like trouble. It was more than his tattoos and muscled  build. He had a toughness about him that said he'd lived life hard. But  on the inside, in the part of him that he didn't like anyone to see, he  was both good and kind. "Yes, it hurt," I said.

A muscle clenched in his jaw and I moved my hand to stroke the hard line  of his skin. My hand tingled, my stomach tightened and I ached to pull  him closer, to kiss him, to let the world stand still around us. "But  only when you stopped."         

     



 

He cleared his throat and lowered his arm. "As long as you're okay."

To get into his car, I had to brush against him since he hadn't moved  from the spot. I heard his swift exhale and turned my head to look at  him. The night played across his face, shadowing his expression. "What's  wrong?" I whispered, afraid to break the spell.

"Nothing." He waited for me to get into the car and then closed the  door. When he got into the car beside me, he reached for the radio and  cranked it up, a habit he had when he didn't want to talk.

By the time we reached Tristan's sprawling house, the party was in full  swing. Cars lined both sides of the street and light from the house  spilled out across the manicured lawn. Music boomed through the open  windows at an ear splitting level. I was surprised at the tension I  felt. Once, I'd belonged here in the area of million dollar homes and  expensive cars but now it felt like a world so far removed from anything  I could ever imagine wanting to be part of.

After I climbed out of the car, I spotted several people I'd known from  high school. Air kissing acquaintances who'd made my life hell as soon  as the story of my father's business crash made the rounds. I'd heard  some of them were vacationing out of state and hadn't expected them to  be here or I never would have come tonight.

I stopped and Ryan bumped into me from behind. What the hell was I doing  here? I didn't belong. Turning around, I gripped his forearms, panic  from the remembered pain writhing in me like a group of snakes. "I  shouldn't have come."

His gaze drifted past me to the group I'd stared at, then swung back to me. "If you want to leave, we'll leave."

I leaned into him, drawing strength from his strength. "But? I can hear it in your voice."

"Don't run from the hard things." He smoothed back a lock of my hair.

I clenched my hands into fists. "They taped a picture of my face onto a  porn star's body and put it on a wall in the boys' bathroom. They'd  written my phone number and the words "will fuck for food" underneath  it." I closed my eyes. I'd never forgotten that day or the laughter and  taunts that followed the rest of that year. I'd been leered at and  groped but none of that was something I'd shared with Ryan. The  humiliation factor had been too high for me to want to say anything  about it to anyone so I'd buried it.

He framed my face with his hands, his voice gentle and insistent. "Look at me."

I opened my eyes and met his gaze, trying to stop my lower lip from trembling. "What?"

"If you run, it gets easier to do it every time after that." He lowered  his hands and gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it up around his  neck. "Tell me the word you see."

Under the street light, I studied the tattoo artwork that covered the  top portion of his well-defined chest. In the middle of the artwork was a  small black cross and above it was the word courage in black script  with the last four letters larger so that it looked like couRAGE.

"What does it mean?"

"It means find the courage to rage against the bullshit, the things in  life that try to beat you down. It means taking back what others take  from you."

I traced the cross with my fingernail. "And this?"

His eyes darkened, filling with pain. "In memory of a friend."

"What about this?" I touched the wide burn scar on his side.

"Had a steam iron held against me."

I gasped. "How old were you?"

"Nine." He pulled his shirt down, effectively closing me out of his past at the same time. "Do we go or do we stay?"

Behind him, Cooper pulled up in his car and honked the horn. Zane and Ryker got out of the passenger side and walked toward us.

"We stay," I said even though I wasn't sure I should.

Ryan smiled at that as the guys came up behind him and slapped him on the back.

Ryker slid his gaze over me. He was tall, dressed in jeans and a plain  white T-shirt. Down both arms, he had full sleeve tattoos that were kind  of deranged looking. I didn't know much about Ryker. Only that his  father was serving a life sentence at Rikers Island which is how he got  his name. Dark, primitive, and dangerous was the vibe I got from Ryker. I  shifted a step closer to Ryan.

A smile creased Ryker's lips but never reached his eyes. "I don't bite, baby.

"At least not this girl," Ryan said, the threat clear in his tone when  he stared at Ryker. He put his hand across my shoulder, pulling me  against him and we walked into the house. The people that I'd grown up  with didn't flaunt jaw-dropping tattoos or have a  fuck-with-me-at-your-own-risk attitude, so the sight of Ryan and his  friends caused the buzz of conversation to abruptly cease. The girls  were practically slobbering at the delicious sight of all the muscles  and edgy good looks. Do-me-please was written on some of their faces.  The guys with the girls were staring, bristling like dogs protecting a  bone.         

     



 

"You're here!" Shelby ran up to us and threw her arms around me in a hug  as if she hadn't seen me in months. She squeezed my shoulders and  whispered, "Tristan's girlfriend is on her way. Introduce me to Cooper."

"Um...Cooper, guys, this is my friend Shelby."

She smiled, already more than a few drinks in. Her gaze fixated on  Cooper and she leaned toward him to show off her cleavage, making her  interest obvious. "I'll save you a dance."

Because she was beautiful, guys usually fell all over themselves to get  close to Shelby. Not Cooper. He muttered that he needed a drink as he  walked off.

Shelby looked hurt. "What's his problem?"

"Who cares what his problem is." Zane caught her hand. "I'll dance with you." He winked at me as he led her away.

I wasn't worried about Shelby hanging with Zane. Of all Ryan's friends,  he was the safest bet. I searched the room for Brooklyn and didn't see  her, but since she'd come to the party with Shelby, I knew she had to be  here somewhere.

Ryan and I walked into the midst of the gyrating bodies and I walked  into his arms, pressing myself against him. When I flattened my breasts  against the wall of his chest, the heat was hot and fast and  unmistakable as it spread through my body. Unable to help it, I rested  my hands on the back of his neck and stroked the ends of his hair. Each  time he shifted, his jeans rubbed against the bareness of my thigh and  the friction had me swallowing hard.