The Devil She Knew(29)

"I'm sorry," she whispered. It took all her strength to disconnect the call.





19





Her hand was sore. Suzie looked down and realized she'd been pounding  the flour mixture with the pastry blender for who knew how long.  Overworked? That was an understatement. Instead of being able to see  small chunks of butter in the dough, it was smooth. And had she put in  the salt?

All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the covers over her  head. Crying into the dough would be unsanitary and she had a lot more  tears to shed. But she had to make the quiche cases today, so the pastry  could rest in the fridge overnight.

She tasted a little of the mixture and groaned. It was way too salty. She must have added the salt more than once by mistake.

What a waste. She couldn't use this now, but there wasn't enough butter  and flour left to make another batch, so she'd have to go out and buy  some. Suzie threw the ruined pastry in the trash on top of the calamari.

Had she made an awful mistake? Nate already had a problem with  commitment, and she'd probably made it a million times worse. Would he  ever trust anyone again? Their phone conversation replayed over and over  in her mind. He was in love with her. The revelation had made it so  much harder, but loving him back wasn't the problem.

If only she could manage even a fraction of his success.

She needed Nate's secret, the one he wouldn't tell her. He'd said to ask  Harrison next time she saw him, only she couldn't wait that long. She  needed it now.

She picked up her cellphone, then hesitated. If she asked him, would  Harrison even know what she was talking about? And if he did, would he  tell her? The way Nate had acted, the story had to be personal. Harrison  might not want to share it.

Suzie looked over to the trash, to all the food she'd wasted. If she  didn't do something, tomorrow night would be a total disaster. Forget  putting her own spin on the evening, at this point she was more worried  about not messing it up completely. And if that happened, Marianna would  never let her cater a wedding on her own again, let alone put her  dishes on the menu.

What would Nate say about her nervousness over calling Harrison? In  spite of everything, Suzie's lips twitched as she imagined him next to  her, making the decision for her in his trademark way.

Screw it.         

     



 

Suzie dialed the number Harrison had given her, and listened to it ring  for what seemed like ages. Her thumb hovered over the disconnect button.

"Hello?" Harrison's voice, slightly breathless.

"Hi." She sounded as awkward as she felt, and cleared her throat. "It's Suzie."

"Oh hey." He said it casually, like she called every other day. "How's it going, Suzie? You and Nate back from the wedding now?"

"Nate's in New York, but I'm here in LA. And when we talked, you said  you wanted to get together." She realized she was drumming her  fingernails nervously against the counter and pulled her hand away. "Did  you mean it? I mean, do you still want to?"

"Sure I do. When?"

Suzie took a deep breath. "Truth is, there's something I badly need to  know and I'm hoping you'll be able to tell me. What are you doing  today?"

He gave a short, surprised laugh. "Today?" he repeated. When Suzie  didn't say anything, he said, "Well, nothing, I guess. Sure, we could  catch up today if you want. I'm intrigued. What time?"

Suzie checked her watch. There wouldn't be too much traffic if she left  now, and if she didn't stay at his place too long she could pick up more  flour and butter on the way back and get the quiche cases in the fridge  tonight. "I could come to your place, if that works for you? Three  o'clock okay?"

"You remember where I live? Want the address?"

"No, I remember. I'll see you at three." Suzie hung up with a sense of  relief. Maybe Harrison thought she was crazy taking him up on his offer  so soon, but he was polite enough to sound enthusiastic about the idea.  Could he be as curious to see her again as she was to see him? If he'd  changed anything like as much as Nate had, she might not recognize him.  Would he still have his piercings?

She left everything as it was in the kitchen, too scared to clean up before she left in case she lost her nerve.

"Come on, Rusty. We're going for a drive." Her dog was beside himself  with excitement and hung his head out the car window the whole way,  loving the feel of the wind on his face. Suzie spent the entire drive  wondering what on earth she was going to say to Harrison when she saw  him, and by the time she pulled up outside his house, she still hadn't  figured it out.

"Stay," she told Rusty, and left the window down for him. She went up  the path, summoned her courage, and knocked on Harrison's front door. A  moment later it opened, and she blinked with shock. Harrison wasn't  anything like the boy she remembered. For a start, his hair had gone  grey.

"Hey," he said, stepping forward to give her an awkward hug. "You  haven't changed, Suzie. Except you're prettier now, if that's possible."

"You haven't changed much either." It was a lie. His piercings were  gone. A hint of the Harrison she remembered was still lingering in in  his craggy face, but Nate had been right and grief had weathered him,  carving lines in his face as surely as water does when it runs over  rock. His smile might not be sexy anymore, but its warmth reminded her  of Nate's.

Harrison invited her in, leading her into a sitting room where sun was  streaming in through the window. There weren't many decorative touches.  No throw cushions on the couches, or magazines on the coffee table. But  there were photos on the wall and on a side table. Photos of a younger,  happier Harrison, with a smiling woman. And photos of the two of them  with a little girl. Yasmina, it had to be. Suzie's heart lurched. What a  gorgeous girl she'd been. And she'd had Harrison's smile. Nate's smile.  Oh God. Suzie put her hand over her heart, suddenly wanting to cry  again.

"I see Nate told you about my daughter." Harrison was watching her.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

He nodded. "Can I get you a drink?"

She hesitated, remembering that Nate had also told her Harrison had a drinking problem.

Harrison's lips twisted. "Coffee? Juice? Water?"

"Water, please."

While he went to the kitchen, she took a closer look at the photos.  There were a couple of Nate, looking so gorgeous that her heart beat  faster. In one he wore his crooked grin, and she ran her finger gently  over his face, wishing he were standing in front of her. She ached to  feel his arms around her, for his lips to brush hers. If she closed her  eyes for a moment, she could just about smell his cologne …

Harrison coughed behind her and she spun around guiltily, as though he'd caught her doing something impolite.

"Your water."         

     



 

"Thanks." She took it but didn't take a sip. "How come you still own this place?"

"Mom left it to us. Our father was going to sell it, but we wouldn't let  him. We were too young to live here on our own, so we stayed with him  in Florida until we were old enough to come back." He motioned her to a  chair. When she sat, he took the one opposite. "Did Nate tell you about  our father?"

"No."

"He's a jerk. I couldn't wait to get back here." He looked around with a  sheepish half-smile. "My shrink says I live here so I can pretend I'm a  kid again and forget the last dozen years ever happened, but so what,  right? Sometimes you do what you can to survive."

"Whatever gets you through," she agreed.

He gave her a sideways look. "This is probably a rude question, but ever  since we spoke on the phone, I've been wondering. What's up with you  and Nate?"

She sipped her water, stalling for time. "Well. Um. Nate and I, ah,  reconnected. But we didn't exactly part on the best of terms." She set  the water on the side table.

Harrison adjusted the cushion behind him, making himself comfortable.  "That's a shame." His manner was easy and for a moment it seemed as  though he hadn't changed at all and they were teenagers again.

"Did you find it difficult growing up with Nate? I mean, because he's so smart?"

Harrison laughed, and she felt suddenly glad she'd come. His laugh was  familiar, like they were two old friends sharing a secret. "You have no  freakin' idea."

She grinned. Harrison understood. He'd grown up being second best too.  It must have been just as difficult having a brother like Nate as it had  been having Laura for a sister. Hadn't Harrison once shot her a look at  their school's award ceremony all those years ago when Nate had  collected yet another certificate?

"Me too, with Laura. I was older than her, but I always used to feel  like I was the younger sister. Right from the beginning, she had  everything worked out."

"The worst was when I found out Nate and I were going to be in the same  math class," said Harrison. "I tried to convince Mom to let me change  schools."