Reading Online Novel

The Devil She Knew(25)



"Stupid sun," she muttered.

"Hmm?" Nate stirred sleepily. "You can't be cold? I'm starting to  overheat." He drew her closer anyway, settling his hand into the curve  of her waist.

"I'm not cold, I just don't want our night together to be over. I'm like  Juliet, insisting it's still dark and the dawn isn't here." A seagull  cawed and Suzie laughed, remembering the movie. "Listen, 'tis the lark,  not the nightingale."

"And thou art more beautiful than a summer's day." He moved so he could kiss her. "Hungry?"

Her stomach growled in response and he laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"What's for breakfast?" she asked, not moving off him. She didn't want  him to stop touching her, but now that he'd mentioned it, she was  starving. And she could murder a coffee.

"Slim pickings," he admitted. "The cereal's gone, but I remember seeing a  can of peaches in the cupboard. Oh, and there's a can of spaghetti."  She wrinkled her nose and he laughed. "I have to admit, I'd rather have  buttered toast and eggs."

"I need to wash up." She slipped out from under the covers, stood up and  stretched, enjoying the feel of the sun and light breeze on her naked  body. She ached in all the right places, and her whole being was infused  with a glow of satisfaction.

"You're beautiful."

His admiring gaze was warmer than the tropical sun and it felt darn  good. She'd always been Second Best Suzie, but with him she didn't feel  that way. By the way he looked at her, Nate didn't think she was second  best anything, and if a man like him could gaze at her like that, she  had to be doing something right.         

     



 

She stretched again, slowly and deliberately, enjoying the appreciation  in his eyes. Maybe she'd always been tough on herself. Just because  Laura was ultra smart and successful, didn't make Suzie any less worthy.  She could be successful in her own way, on her own terms. To hell with  always feeling like she wasn't good enough.

"Forget breakfast. Come back to bed," said Nate. He ran his hand down  the sheet, pulling it tight over himself so she could see he was hard  again.

She rounded her eyes in mock surprise. "You're not spent yet? How many  times did we make love last night? Surely you haven't got a single sperm  left in your body. I'd better call the Guinness Book of Records to tell  them about your prowess."

"It's completely your fault." He gave her his crooked, boyish smile, and  her heart felt as light as air. "How could any man look at you and not  get an instant erection? I'll bet everywhere you go, there are  embarrassed men trying to cover up the fact you've made them pitch a  tent in their pants."

She laughed. He made her feel so good. How could she have ever thought  he was arrogant, or mean? It was obvious he was used to being in charge,  but he was confident and assertive rather than bossy. And when he was  sweet, or funny, it made her knees turn to mush.

"You know, I'm going to miss you." She kept her tone light, after all,  Nate had already confessed to a serious fear of commitment and she  didn't want to freak him out. But they were so good together, surely she  wasn't the only one who didn't want this to end? "Perhaps we could keep  seeing each other? I mean, after I've made the party a huge success and  been showered with praise and money, and you've created the super-smart  robots that'll wipe out the human race. Maybe you could visit me in LA?  Or I could come and test drive your new car, by not driving it at all."

He rose onto one elbow, his expression suddenly serious. "Suzie, as much  as I didn't want a relationship, I don't want to walk away. But if  we're going to turn this into something more than a holiday romance, we  should talk it through." There was no trace of laughter in his eyes now.

She could have sworn the sky was cloudless, but just then the day  darkened. Suzie glanced up. There was a single grey cloud obscuring the  sun. Where did that come from?

"If we keep seeing each other, it could get serious," he went on. "And  before that happens, I'd like to know more about your plans for the  future. Where do you want to live? Could you move if you had to, or is  there something keeping you tied to LA?"

She frowned. "My job, of course. And my dog, Rusty. He's a black  labrador. But we don't have to worry about things like that right away.  We can keep it casual to start with. And, you know. Visit."

Nate shook his head. "If we'll eventually want different things, it's better to find out now."

Wow. He'd got serious quickly. "You don't believe in taking things slow?"

"It's common sense to get everything in the open. Problems are bound to  come up as we go along, but we should talk about the important things up  front. For example, you should know that I never want to have kids."

"What?" She blinked, wondering if he could be messing with her. "Where  on earth did that come from? A minute ago we were talking about whether  we were going to keep seeing each other, and now we're at the having  kids stage?"

"If never starting a family is a deal breaker for you, we can end this  now. But if it gets any more serious it won't be so easy."

She wrapped her arms around her naked torso, feeling suddenly exposed.  "Wait a minute. I'm a long way away from having a ‘do you want children'  conversation, let alone hearing you say that if things get serious,  you'll make that decision for me."

She turned away so he couldn't see the look on her face. Too much, too  soon. Seriously, could he hear himself? Her clothes were piled on the  deck where she'd dropped them last night. She grabbed her T-shirt and  shorts and pulled them on.

"You're angry," he said.

She composed her expression before turning back to him. "No. I just  can't plan my entire life in advance. And frankly, it's a little unfair  of you to insist I do."

He reached one hand to her. "Sit for a moment, and I'll tell you why I want us to talk about these things now."

She hesitated a moment. Then she lowered herself down, but she didn't  nestle into him like she would have done just minutes ago. Instead she  sat cross-legged on the mattress, facing him. He took her hand anyway,  and held it while he talked.         

     



 

"After we moved to Florida, Harrison fell in love with a girl called  Nancy. She fell pregnant when Harrison was twenty. Too young to get  married, at least that's what our father thought. But they did anyway,  and they had the cutest little girl. My niece, Yasmina. She was smart as  anything. As soon as she started talking, she was a complete  chatterbox."

Nate shook his head with a smile that was heartbreakingly sad. "The  things she used to come out with. She was so … " Nate sighed, the words  trailing away, and Suzie squeezed his hand. She dreaded what he would  say next.

"Yasmina died when she was four, and everything fell apart. Especially  Harrison. He lost his job and took up drinking. Made a career of that  instead."

Nate took a deep breath. "Harrison used booze to try and wipe the memory  of her death. He almost managed to wipe his life out, too. I called him  every day for the next few years, and each time I dialed his number I'd  brace for news he'd succeeded in killing himself. Nancy stuck with him  for a while, but I wasn't surprised when she left. I tried everything I  could think of to help. Counselors, rehab, tough love. Yasmina died six  years ago, and Harrison's finally cut back on the drinking, but he  hasn't gone back to work. Mostly he sleeps and watches TV. He's thirty,  and he looks like he's fifty."

"That's awful." Suzie swallowed, remembering the conversation she'd had  with Harrison just a couple of days ago. While they'd been talking,  she'd pictured the boy she'd had a crush on all those years ago. Back  then she used to wait until he was working in the store before she went  in to buy a piece of candy, using it as an excuse to flirt with him.  What might he look like now, with lines of grief and misery etched into  his face?

But she must be missing something. She rubbed the middle of her  forehead, trying to understand. "I still don't get why you've decided  not to have children."

He sucked in his breath. His lowered eyes made it obvious this was  difficult for him to talk about. "Yasmina choked on a piece of apple. It  got stuck in her windpipe, and they couldn't get it out in time." His  thumb stroked the back of her hand. "If a piece of stupid fucking apple  can kill a smart kid out of the blue, there's no way to keep them safe,  not a single thing you can do. How could anyone want to have kids when  they could be gone like that, in an instant?"

Suzie bit her lip. "Are you saying that the reason you don't want a  family of your own is because you don't want to get hurt again?"

He tilted his head and spoke slowly, as though trying to find the right  words. "When it's impossible to protect the people I care about, all I  can do is manage my risk."