The Devil She Knew(32)

Without her.

He could get on the phone and fill his apartment with friends, but  talking to them would be an effort. Besides, he'd compare every  conversation to the back and forth he'd shared with Suzie, missing her  quick, cutting wit and the way she'd challenged him.

Why did it feel like only the sound of her laughter could fill this empty room?

He'd messed up big time letting her get under his guard. He had to be  some kind of masochist allowing himself to get pummeled. If he hadn't  wanted to get knocked down, he shouldn't have stepped in the ring. Only  it was too late now. He was down for the count, and after yesterday's  phone call, he couldn't kid himself he and Suzie could have some kind of  long distance relationship, or that he could wean himself off her  slowly. No, he'd have to go cold turkey and deal with the heartbreak.

If only the silence wasn't driving him crazy.

Nate made an impatient sound, then picked up his cellphone and called  Harrison. He got up and paced restlessly up and down his living room  while it rang, the familiar tightness squeezing his stomach. It didn't  loosen off until his brother answered.

"Nate?"

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good, actually. A lot better." Harrison laughed. "But I hear you've been a fool."

"What are you talking about?"

"Suzie came to visit. It was great to see her and she's gorgeous now, isn't she? I like her hair dyed red. It suits her."

Nate's heart flipped over. "When did you see her?"

"Yesterday. She explained some things I hadn't realized before. Now of  course, it's obvious. But I've been a little wrapped up in myself these  last few years, and I didn't see it."

"See what?" Nate raked his hair with his free hand, resisting the urge  to yell at his brother. What the hell was he talking about? Why couldn't  he just tell him what Suzie had said?

Harrison's voice softened. "She told me you've decided never to have  kids and that you've been doing a damn good job pushing her away." He  snorted. "Just because you're a genius, doesn't mean you can't be a  freakin' idiot sometimes. I'm pretty sure she agrees with me on that."

"You of all people should be able to understand why I don't want to have  kids. When Yasmina … " He trailed off, took a breath, and started again.  "Just because I don't want to go through anything like that again,  doesn't mean-"

"Listen to me, Nate." His brother sounded more assertive than Nate had  heard for years. In spite of the fact he'd sparked Harrison's  exasperation, he was glad to hear the strength in his voice. "I might  have messed my life up, but if you let Suzie go, you'll be screwing up  worse than I did. Losing Yasmina was a horrible accident, and I was so  out of my mind afterwards I drove Nancy away. I've regretted it every  day since she left. But if you let Suzie go because you're scared of  getting hurt? Then you're a dumbass. And a coward."         

     



 

"It was her choice to end things between us, not mine."

"Do you blame her?" Harrison sighed. "Even after everything that's  happened, I'm still grateful to have had the time I did with my family. I  know I've been a mess since Yasmina died, but I wouldn't trade one  second of what I had. And I'd do it all over again, even knowing we'd  only have those few precious years together. Because all the pain I went  through was worth it. Those were the best years of my life."

Nate stared out of the window, at all the people going about their  business. He found himself focusing on a woman with red hair and made  himself look away. "Thanks for the pep talk, but it's not necessary. I'm  in love with Suzie whether I want to be or not. There's nothing I can  do about it because she's got some crazy idea that either I'm too  successful, or she's not successful enough."

"Then you have to tell her how wonderful she is until she believes it."

"That simple, huh?" Nate shook his head. "But I've committed to a new  business and I'm going to be tied up with it twenty-four-seven for the  next few years."

"Well, it's up to you. But if you decide you want her, you can't hold back. She deserves better than that."

Harrison was right. Suzie deserved the best of everything. And if there  were a way to make things work, she'd be entitled to the best of him. No  ifs, buts, or conditions.

Could he do that?

He wasn't a coward. But he wasn't a masochist either. And his new  business was important. He and Tristan were on the verge of something  big and right now he didn't need any distractions.

His jaw tightened. "I'll think about it." He checked his watch. "Anyway, I'm due at a meeting."

"Yeah, I've got to go too," Harrison said. He sounded more cheerful than  Nate had heard for years. "Last night I finally started that novel I  always wanted to write. I've almost finished the first chapter and I  want to get back to it. So I'll talk to you later, okay?"

He hung up without waiting for Nate to say goodbye, but that was a good  thing because Nate's mouth just opened and closed with no words coming  out.

His hand must have opened because his phone dropped onto the coffee  table with a clatter. Harrison was working on his book? Hell yeah! Nate  punched the air. Had Suzie done this somehow? If she had, he was going  to kiss her until she was dizzy, then take her out to his favorite …

He broke off the thought, Harrison's words echoing in his mind. If he  wanted to be with Suzie, then he had to commit to her a hundred percent.  It would be a yes or no decision, either all in, or all out. Either  he'd arrange things so they'd be together in the same city  –  no, in the  same house  –  or he'd never call her or see her again.

And maybe the choice would end up being between Suzie and his new business.

The business he'd worked his ass off for three years to make happen. The  one he was about to give up fifty-five million dollars for.

So what was it going to be? Was he in or out?





22





Nate sat in the boardroom at the car manufacturer's head office. Tristan  and he were on one side of the table, the car executives on the other.  Tristan had already called Kevin Richardson, the CEO, to tell him they  were turning down the deal, but Kevin had insisted on going ahead with  the scheduled meeting anyway. He was probably hoping to change their  minds.

Nate started the meeting by explaining why they wanted to go it alone,  but his mind was only half on what he was saying. Suzie would be cooking  up a storm right now. She was probably nervous as hell about the  wedding tonight, but she shouldn't be. She was such a great cook, it was  sure to be a huge success.

"I understand completely," Kevin said. "That's why I'd like to propose a new deal."

Nate blinked. He'd drifted off into his thoughts about Suzie and wasn't sure he'd heard the CEO correctly. "Excuse me?"

Kevin slid two contracts across the table to Nate and Tristan. "Instead  of a buy out, I'm proposing a partnership. If we take the strongest  qualities that each of us have to offer, together we'll be unstoppable."

A partnership. Nate picked up one of the contracts, staring at it without being able to focus on the words.

Dammit, how could he even consider never calling Suzie or seeing her  again? They'd only been apart for three days and he'd spent every minute  of that time missing her. Even now, her catering job seemed more  important than this meeting.

Tristan kicked his leg, frowning at him. He had to get his head in the game.         

     



 

" …  course we want your system," Kevin was saying. "But even more than  that, we want you to be in charge of that part of the business and make  sure the cars are up to date with your market-leading technology. You  have the knowledge we need, and we want you to create our cars."

Nate frowned. "In charge?" he repeated.

"You'd have carte-blanche to run the new division however you see fit,  and make the cars you want to make. Of course, we want the cars we make  to be the only ones using your system, but you'd retain the rights for  anything else. Boat steering systems, for example. And you'd have plenty  of money to throw into development." The CEO nodded at Tristan, who  must have mentioned their plans. "We need both of you and we're offering  a bonus to sweeten the deal. Sign a partnership with us, and as well as  getting ownership of our new division, you'll be considerably richer."

Tristan wore a stunned expression. He flipped through the contract, but  his eyes were slightly glazed. Nate knew he wasn't really reading, but  considering the possibilities.

Nate stared at the contract as well, but he couldn't concentrate on it until he'd made up his mind about Suzie.

"You can go it alone, no doubt," said Kevin, sitting back and running  his hand over his bald head. "But the rewards if we worked together  would be far greater."

And that was the point, wasn't it? Nate had never experienced happiness  as profound as he'd felt when he was on the yacht with Suzie. If he  never got to feel like that again, his would be a life only half lived.  So she could get hit by a car, or get cancer, or eat a damn apple the  wrong way. Wasn't even the smallest amount of time with her worth  risking any amount of pain for?