Taking It All(41)

       
           



       

He and Jensen were standing between her and the doorway, a formidable   barrier, their arms crossed over their chests and stubborn looks on   their faces.

Kylie and Joss stood at Chessy's side but it was clear they were in agreement with the men.

"You should make him come here. On neutral ground," Joss said in a low   voice. "Or over at mine and Dash's house. We'll give you all the privacy   you need but you shouldn't be at a disadvantage emotionally, and with   you being pregnant you're especially vulnerable. Just ask Dash! I cry   over the most ridiculous things. I swear I'm a hormonal mess. I   certainly can't be trusted to make life-altering decisions with   pregnancy brain."

Dash's entire face softened with love as he gazed at his wife. "You're   adorable pregnant. And you are not a hormonal mess. I love every part of   you and wouldn't change a thing. You pregnant is the sexiest thing  I've  ever seen. I can't wait until you get bigger and I can feel the  little  one kick."

Chessy's hand went to her own flat stomach and tears welled in her eyes.   Joss shot Dash a look of reprimand and Dash immediately looked   contrite.

"I'm sorry, Chessy. That was digging the knife deeper."

Chessy shook her head. "Do not ever hold back with Joss for fear of   hurting me. That isn't fair. She deserves to have someone who sees her   for how special she is."

Jensen sighed. "Will you at least let one of us go with you? Joss is   right about one thing. You're extremely vulnerable right now and that   gives Tate the upper hand. And when he learns of your pregnancy, he's   going to push hard for a reconciliation."

"I guess we'll have to see, won't we?" Chessy said lightly. "At any   rate, expect me back tonight. He's cooking dinner because he says   there's something he needs to tell me. Maybe he wants a divorce. But   it's obvious we need to clear the air. I need  …  closure. I need to know   where this is headed because I can't go on like this. I have to make   plans for me and my child."

"Honey, a man does not cook dinner for a woman he's planning to dump," Dash said dryly.

"I'm going," Chessy said emphatically. "Now please let me by so I'm not late."

"Only if you promise to call if you need us," Jensen said. "One of us will be over immediately if you need help or support."

She leaned up on tiptoe and kissed Jensen's cheek and then Dash's. She   hugged both Kylie and Joss before disentangling herself and headed for   the door.

"Thank you all," she said sincerely. "I'm so lucky to have friends like you."

She hurried down the sidewalk to her car before she could change her   mind and completely chicken out of her dinner with Tate. She had a whole   horde of butterflies in her stomach and her pregnancy wasn't helping  in  that regard. She just hoped she could make it through dinner without   losing the contents of her stomach. That certainly wasn't the way she   wanted to break the news to Tate of his impending fatherhood.

Would he be happy? It saddened her that she had no clue. It had been him   who'd wanted to wait when she wanted children earlier in their   marriage. But he'd thought they should be more financially secure first.

But when was it enough? It seemed that no matter how much money he   brought in, no matter how many clients he netted, it was never enough.   He'd always put her off and said maybe next year. Or when he reached his   goal of X number of portfolios that he managed. She knew for a fact   that he'd surpassed his supposed goal on three separate occasions. And   yet he still hadn't agreed to have children.

It was very possible that he wouldn't greet this news well at all. She   may end up a single mother with an absentee father for her child.

Guilt surged through her chest for making assumptions and jumping to   conclusions. Tate wasn't a horrible person. He'd be a good father. She   knew that much. It didn't matter if this child was planned or not. He'd   love him or her every bit as much as Chessy already did.

When she arrived at their house, she parked and got out only to be met   at the door by Tate. He looked as though it took everything he had not   to pull her into his arms or touch her in some way. But instead he   merely stepped back and swept his arm inward in silent invitation.

Her nerves a mess, she walked inside, feeling as though she was in   foreign territory rather than the house she'd made a home over the last   five years.

"Come into the kitchen while I cook dinner. I've already gotten a start on the crepes."                       
       
           



       

Anticipation made her mouth water. "Crawfish and crab crepes?"

He certainly knew her weakness and his smile proved it.

"I may have made your favorite," he said slyly.

She sighed. "You don't play fair, Tate."

He shrugged in response. "I warned you, Chessy. I'm not going down   without a fight. I believe in us. I love you. There's no way I'm just   going to let you go without throwing everything I have your way."

Well, that answered the question of whether he was going to ask for a   divorce. Was his big thing he wanted to tell her simply an opportunity   to beg for forgiveness again? And how much longer could she stand up   under the onslaught when she loved him with every aching breath?

She loved him, yes. Without question. But trust him? No, she couldn't   say she fully trusted him any longer. Not when he'd repeatedly chosen   his clients and career over her.

"Is that what you wanted to tell me tonight?" she asked.

"It's one of the things," he said calmly. "But not the thing. We'll   discuss that over dinner. While the crepes are in the oven, I'd like to   hear about you. You sounded upset on the phone and you said you hadn't   been feeling well."

She shook her head. "We'll discuss it after dinner. After you've told me what it is you have to say to me."

He looked frustrated with her stubbornness but he didn't press. Instead   he opened a bottle of wine and poured one glass and started to pour   another until she held up her hand.

"No, don't," she said quickly. "I don't want wine. I'm afraid it will upset my stomach."

"So you have been ill," he said grimly.

"I'm separated from my husband," she said in a terse tone. "Do you   expect me to be radiant? I've been miserable, Tate. This is never what I   wanted. You chose this for us, not me."

Anger sparked in her blood and she could positively feel her blood   pressure rising. She took several calming breaths, knowing it did the   baby no good for Chessy to become so upset.

Tate's eyes darkened with sorrow. His hand shook as he reached for his glass of wine.

"I didn't choose our separation," he said quietly. "Never that. I fucked   up. I get that. It was stupid. I just reacted without thinking. It's a   mistake I'll pay for dearly for the rest of my life. I hope you can  find  it in your generous, loving heart to forgive me. To give me yet  another  chance to make things right. I don't want to live my life  without you,  Chessy. I can't bear the thought of it. There will never  be another  woman for me. You're it. And I want it all, but I want it  with you."

Her heart squeezed at the sincerity and graveness in his tone. She had   no doubt he meant it in this precise moment. That wasn't in question.   He'd also been absolutely sincere after the night of their anniversary,   and look where that had gotten them. It wasn't a matter of him speaking   an untruth now. It was the question of how long that vehemence would   last. A week? A month? She had no faith that he'd continue to put her   first in his life and she refused to live with that uncertainty any   longer. She had a child to think about now and her child deserved a   full-time father, not someone who was gone all the time and never there   for the important moments in life.

"I don't know what to say-to think," Chessy said, her mouth turned down in an expression of unhappiness.

"Just say you'll think about it," he urged. "I don't have to have an   answer today or even tomorrow. Just promise me you'll think about it and   not give up on me quite yet."

She closed her eyes but nodded, knowing there really wasn't an   alternative. She couldn't very well say with any authority what would   happen once he told her whatever he had to tell her, and she then told   him she was pregnant. She knew he'd fight even harder for them to get   back together once he learned she was pregnant, but not telling him   wasn't an option. He deserved to know he was going to become a father no   matter her reservations about him as a husband.