Taking It All(44)

"Tell me something, Tate," she said, cocking her head to the side. "Do   you miss me? Or do you miss the convenience of having me around. Would   any woman do in my stead? Do you just not like being alone?"

He sucked in his breath at the hollow pain he felt in every word she   uttered. It hurt him that she could possibly even think such a thing.

"No other woman could ever fill your shoes, baby. Of course I miss you.   And I damn sure don't like being alone but it's because I'm not with   you. Given a choice between being alone or being with someone other than   you, then I'd choose to be alone."

He knew he scored points with his answer because for the first time,   uncertainty flickered in her eyes. As if she were truly second-guessing   her decision to remain apart from him. He could only hope that she   changed her mind in short order because every day without her was a day   in hell.





TWENTY-SEVEN


THE next morning Chessy was sitting in the living room, newspaper in   hand turned to the business section while contemplating the evening   before with Tate when Joss and Kylie both burst through the front door.

"Did you see the  … ?"

Joss broke off when she saw the newspaper Chessy was holding.

"Ah, I guess you have seen it then," Joss finished.

"If you're referring to the article about Tate's partnership with two   other financial guys then yeah," Chessy murmured. "But I knew. He told   me last night."

"And you didn't tell us?" Kylie demanded.

"I was emotionally wrung out by the time I got in last night," Chessy   replied. "I was too confused to rehash it all then. Hell, I'm still   confused. I can't figure out his angle and it's driving me crazy."

Joss sat down on the couch next to Chessy, her eyes full of love and   understanding. "Have you considered his only angle is winning you back   at any cost, sweetie?"

"But that's just it. With Tate it's all about winning whether in   business or his personal life, but especially in business. How do I know   I'm not just some giant victory for him? I mean, how am I supposed to   know if he's truly sincere this time? It's not like he hasn't had   multiple opportunities. So what's changed now? And in his defense, he   told me about taking on partners and lightening his work load so he   could devote more time to our marriage before I told him I was   pregnant."                       
       
           



       

"Then maybe he really does mean it this time," Kylie admitted.

Chessy looked at her in surprise because up to now she'd been Tate's biggest detractor.

"I know, I know," Kylie defended. "I've not exactly been his biggest   fan. But I have to hand it to the guy. He's persistent and he really   seems sincere. If it involved anyone but my best friend I'd probably   wonder if she had rocks in her head for continuing to put him off. Not   that it's what I think about you. You're certainly justified in being   wary of allowing him the power to hurt you again. Self-preservation is a   strong thing. Once bitten, twice shy, et cetera et cetera."

"I think the question that has to be asked here is what do you want,   Chessy?" Joss asked softly. "Because it doesn't matter what I think or   Kylie or Dash and Jensen. This is your life, your marriage. Only you can   decide what's best for you and more importantly what will make you   happy. Are you resisting because you truly don't trust him not to hurt   you again? Or are you resisting because of your pride and you don't want   to look like a gullible fool for trusting him again?"

Chessy looked thunderstruck as Joss's question sank in. "Wow. You don't ask the hard ones, do you?"

"I'd say she scored a few points judging by the expression on your face," Kylie said.

"Good God, could you be right?" Chessy breathed out. "Is it my stupid   pride and me not wanting to look stupid for taking him back? Or is it   truly because I don't trust him."

Joss shrugged. "Maybe it's a little of both. I certainly can't blame you   either way. I wouldn't be lining up for that kind of humiliation or   hurt again. But then I went through something similar with Dash and I   forgave him."

"And I forgave Jensen his stupidity," Kylie said dryly. "I think it's an   inherent quality in men. Some stupid gene they inherit purely because   they're male. Women are so much smarter and more logical. Men? Not so   much. They think with their dicks, when they're thinking at all."

Chessy and Joss burst into laughter.

"You're so irreverent, Kylie. I love that about you," Chessy said with a grin.

Kylie performed a mock bow. "Glad I can be of service. Now, let's get to   the point. What do you want, Chessy? Forget everything that's happened   in the past. Forget any worry over how you appear to others. Forget  what  me, Joss, Dash or Jensen think. What do you want? What would make  you  the happiest in the world? Don't think about it. Go with your gut.  Give  me your answer in three seconds or less."

"I want my husband back," Chessy blurted. "I want my child raised by   both its mother and father. I want Tate to share in every aspect of my   pregnancy. I want my marriage back."

"Well, there you go," Joss said, satisfaction lining her face.

"Oh my God," Chessy whispered. "Is it truly that easy?"

"No," Kylie said. "Nothing good is ever easy, or so Jensen always says.   He said that about me in the beginning. I didn't appreciate the   sentiment at the time but that's because I was being difficult and I   knew it."

Joss chuckled. "You? Difficult? Naaahhh."

"Cut the sarcasm or I'll cut you," Kylie threatened. "As I was saying,   Chessy," she said pointedly ignoring Joss's smirk. "No, it's not that   easy, but it can be. To quote Jensen yet again, and God, I'm starting to   sound like his damn parrot! But he also says it can be as easy or as   hard as we make it. The question is which do you want to make it?"

"I don't want it to be too easy for him," Chessy said hesitantly.   "Shouldn't he have to work for it? If I make it too easy then it opens   the door for him to take advantage of me again. To take me for granted.   And, well, this may make me sound like a terrible person, but part of  me  wants to punish him for what he did. He deserves to be punished."

"Sweetie, I think you've made it pretty damn difficult for him over the   last several weeks. Not that he didn't totally deserve it. But the guy   is miserable. I'd say you're definitely punishing him," Joss said.

"Oh yeah," Kylie agreed. "Jensen told me he's looked like complete shit   every time he shows up over here demanding to see you. And that he  looks  like a kicked puppy when Jensen tells him to fuck off."

Chessy winced. "Ugh. I don't want to strip him of his pride completely even if I do want to punish him for his utter stupidity."                       
       
           



       

"So, what are you going to do?" Kylie persisted. "I distinctly remember a   turning point with both Joss and me when our men were being complete   dumbasses and if we hadn't taken matters in our own hands, we'd probably   both still be single."

"In other words it's up to me to pull Tate's head out of his ass and show some mercy," Chessy said in a dry tone.

"Well, not in so many words, but yeah, basically," Kylie said. "I know   I'm repeating myself, but only if that's what you want. It's time to   fish or cut bait. If you want a clean break then make an appointment   with a divorce attorney and move on with your life. If you want Tate   back then you need to get on the ball and tell him that. Either way, end   your misery. Because right now you're in a holding pattern, stuck in   the mud, not going anywhere but deeper in the mire."

"You certainly have a way with words," Joss muttered.

"Am I right?" Kylie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, you prickly bitch. You're always right," Joss said in exasperation.

Chessy laughed again, realizing this was the most she'd laughed since she and Tate had split up.

"God I love you two," she said fervently. "I have to be the luckiest woman on earth to have such good friends. Best friends."

"Sisters," Joss amended.

"Yes, sisters from another mother," Kylie agreed. "So not to beat you   over the head, but for the third time, what are you going to do? Or do   you need our help figuring it out?"