Sweet Nothing(62)
Luke leans down and kisses me, gently teasing my tongue with his. An image from last night flashes through my mind: his face just inches from mine. His breath hot, his cheeks flushed. His dark waves suspended just above me. Remembering him this way turns me on everywhere. I want him again.
Before he pulls away, he nibbles my lower lip playfully. “Morning.” He pushes himself onto my desk. I rest my hand on his thigh.
“Morning.” My voice is raspy, my body throbbing.
“That wasn’t your other boyfriend on the phone just now, was it?”
“Which one?”
“Okay. I had that coming.” He looks adorable and more formal than usual in suit pants and a starched white button-down that’s rolled up at the sleeves. Delicious is the only word that does him justice. And I love that he’s wearing flip-flops with a suit.
“Not my other boyfriends. Just—” I catch myself in time. “—a friend from New York. We haven’t caught up in a while.” I hate lying to Luke, but he can’t know about Aria. Not right now, anyway. He’d have too many questions. “How come you’re so dressed up? I mean, minus the flip-flops.”
“This old thing?” He mimes adjusting a tie that isn’t there. “This is my feeling good because I just got my world rocked by this sexy girl outfit.”
“Outfit?”
“Whatever. Guys can say outfit. Actually, I’m meeting with Dr. Goodwin today. Basically, I’m going in there to beg for more money for the art department. I always like to look nice when I’m begging.”
“Your strategy’s all wrong.” I shake my head. “If you want more money, don’t you think you should go in there in crappy clothes, so he can see just how much you need it?”
“Huh.” He cocks his head to one side.
“That’s right,” I nod. “Didn’t think I was that sharp, did you?”
“I always knew you were sharp.” He hops off the desk and leans down to kiss me lightly. “What I didn’t know is how much I’d want you again after last night.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“Actually, there’s something else I didn’t know.” His looks past me, at the white board, as he rubs the back of his neck. “Something I wanted to ask you.”
“Sure.”
“I, um… I have Lilah tomorrow night. And I was wondering if you maybe wanted to have dinner with us. No big deal. If you feel weird about it, it’s okay. No big deal,” he repeats.
In under a second, my body goes from completely relaxed to totally panicked. His daughter. He wants me to meet his daughter. I can’t do that, can I? It’s too much, too fast. What if I don’t know how to act, how to be around her? What if I fuck it up? Could it erase everything that has happened between us? Will he decide I’m not the woman he thought I was? It’s an insane thought, considering the fact that I’m not who he believes me to be anyway.
“It’s weird. You think it’s weird.” Luke exhales at the ceiling, like he’s just taken a long drag off an invisible cigarette.
“No.” I stand and wrap my arms around him, giving him what I hope is a reassuring squeeze. He returns the hug half-heartedly. But I know he can read the apprehension on my face. He knows me too well. “I just wasn’t expecting… I’m surprised. That’s all.”
“I shouldn’t have asked. It’s too soon. It’s just that I—if we do this now, it’s like it isn’t a huge deal, you know? It’s like I’m introducing Lilah to a friend.”
“A… friend.” I release my grip on him.
“That’s not what I meant. Or how I see you. I know it sounds strange, but it just feels like less pressure this way. If we waited six months, and then you met her, it could feel like this big, scary thing.”
He thinks we’ll be together in six months. He thinks we could be something. My heart speeds up.
“And she’s a really important part of my life. The most important part of my life. It would feel wrong for you not to meet her, you know?”
The first bell rings, making us both jump. I pull away.
“I know, Luke.” I reach around him and find my coffee. Suddenly, I need something to do, need something between us. I take a long sip. It’s cold. “I didn’t mean to freak out. Really. I just—”
“You need time to think. I get it. It’s okay.” He squeezes my arm and kisses me on the forehead. “Really, Elle.” There’s pain in his eyes. Pain that I caused. “Let’s leave it like this: the invitation’s open. Dinner’s at six at my house. If you want to come, great. If not, it’s okay. Okay?”