Soldier at the Door(14)
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
“Getting to the other side? It’s been building in my mind for a several moons now.”
“That’s a long time to think,” he replied, still with an unreadable expression.
Mahrree felt she was about to burst. “Perrin, tell me honestly: isn’t there any way to work with the remaining Guarders? Any way to get around them?”
“My wife, you are insane,” he whispered, searching her eyes for evidence. “Do you have any idea what you’re suggesting?”
“I do, and I’m not insane. Why do men assume women are unstable when they’re expecting or have just birthed?!” she exclaimed, exasperated. “We shed a few tears, fret for a bit, and you—and Dr. Brisack—” she sneered at his name, “conclude we’re going crazy. Simply because we react differently than men?” She scoffed. “I’d love to see how a man would respond to the dramatic changes in his body if he were expecting. Frankly, I think our sex handles it and recovers remarkably well, and we emerge even more focused and determined!”
“So I see,” he murmured.
She exhaled. “Just . . . humor me for a few minutes. Please? Can we work with the Guarders?”
He twitched. “The ones I encountered in Raining Season weren’t interested in talking. They were interested in you.”
She swallowed at that, the same way she had repeatedly when he finally told her the truth about that night.
“But,” he continued reluctantly, “something new is happening in the trees. If it’s a result of what happened last season or not, I really don’t know. It seems that there’s a lost Guarder. And he does talk. I have a new volunteer named Zenos, who happened upon him quite by accident at the fresh spring, and for the past two weeks they’ve been talking. Since Zenos isn’t in uniform, the Guarder thinks he’s a local boy and he’s become quite eager to see him, especially since Zenos brings him food from the mess hall.”
Mahrree’s eyes grew big with expectation.
Perrin tried to shut it down as soon as he saw it. “But what you’re proposing is . . . is ridiculous! Unheard of!”
Jaytsy plopped down on her father’s legs and began to suck her thumb.
Mahrree sat up taller. “And?! What about the Guarder? What does he say?”
Perrin shook his head. “Nothing really useful. He’s lost and confused, and we think it’s made him rather unstable. He blathers on incoherently. Zenos reports to me what he says, and it’s mostly nonsense. What I can tell you is . . .” He exhaled, obviously not wanting to divulge but likely feeling the need to be honest with her, “Zenos mentioned that the Guarder told him their women have many babies. Even as many as fifteen.”
Mahrree’s mouth dropped open so large Peto’s fist could have fit neatly inside it.
“Fifteen?” She couldn’t even imagine. “That’s . . . that’s far more than I imagined, but I knew it! Yes! I read that report from the Office of Family—I’m sure they didn’t think anyone would take the time, but I did!” her voice was full of spite. “And it said their studies showed women couldn’t safely have more than two before causing permanent damage, but that doesn’t make any sense. Who have they studied to know this?! Oh, but fifteen!” She fixated on the possibility. . .
Perrin noticed. He looked at her suspiciously as he ran his fingers through Jaytsy’s stringy light brown hair. She lay down and used his lap as a pillow. “Why does that interest you so much?”
“Because it’s proof!”
He shook his head, bewildered. “It’s proof of nothing, Mahrree. It’s from a disoriented Guarder who’s not the most reliable source of information. And if it were true, which I doubt, it demonstrates only that they’re uncivilized and cruel, destroying their women’s bodies merely to replenish their population. They give birth to creatures that attack us at night, steal our goods, and threaten our families. That’s why I kill them.”
Mahrree flinched. After a quiet moment she meekly said, “But they still have many children.”
Perrin scoffed. “Because they live in the wilderness, skirmishing among themselves, struggling to survive, watching their mates die, their children starve—”
His descriptions were too much, and yes—she was still feeling some irrational effects of birthing. “Stop it!” Mahrree exclaimed in a loud whisper.
Perrin clamped shut his mouth and analyzed his wife. “What is this all about, Mahrree?”
She couldn’t put it off any longer. Her time was growing short. The date was already set.