Sinful Nights(74)

Both of them, in their separate ways, had been crippled emotionally by  life; both of them together could build a secure home for their children  that would enable them to put down the strong roots every living thing  needed to grow.

WHEN WILL JAY BE BACK?'

Later on this afternoon,' Claire responded.

Can we go and meet him at the airport, please, Mummy?'

Claire shook her head firmly, ignoring Lucy's cry of disappointment. As  always, fortunately, her daughter's attention proved fairly easy to  distract. She was unlike Heather in that respect, who would worry and  brood over something until it was sorted out to her satisfaction.

Jay's return coincided with the half-term holidays. Claire had made  tentative plans to take the girls to Bristol, mainly to buy them both  new clothes, and she had also rashly promised a brief visit to the zoo.

How long would Jay wait before demanding an answer to his proposal? Not  long, she suspected. He was a decisive man who would not tolerate  shilly-shallying in others. Inwardly she knew that her decision had been  made, but even so, actually telling Jay that she was prepared to marry  him was something she wasn't looking forward to doing. Actually saying  the words made it seem so final. She guessed that he wouldn't want to  wait very long after her agreement before legally formalising their  marriage.

Partly because Lucy had pleaded with her and partly to avoid being left  alone with him, Claire had agreed that the girls' evening meal could be  delayed so that they could share it with Jay.

She had no real idea or knowledge of his culinary preferences, but  knowing the delays that could arise both during the flight and after it,  she had made another casserole, a slightly more glamorous one this  time: chicken breasts in a special sauce, which she intended to serve  with duchesse potatoes, and fresh vegetables. She suspected that after  several days in Dallas Jay would be heartily sick of prime steak, and so  the chicken should be a welcome change.

Leaving both girls happily occupied in the kitchen with their crayoning books, she went upstairs to check on Jay's room.

Shortly after he had left she had entered it for the first time to strip  his bed, and as it had then, when she opened the door and walked into  it, its almost monastic austerity surprised her. She didn't know what  she had expected, but it certainly hadn't been this coldly plain room,  so empty of any personal possessions that it might have belonged to a  hotel. The large bed was covered by a plain, dull spread. The bedside  tables held only a telephone and an alarm clock. A bank of fitted  wardrobes and cupboards presented a plain cream front to her cursory  glance. Brown curtains hung at the window to tone with the  neutral-coloured carpet.

All in all, the room was spectacularly uninspiring and, unlike the rest  of the house, did not reveal the decorative hand of Jay's ex-wife.

Claire wondered why. She already knew from Heather which room had been  her mother's, and although she had not as yet ventured inside it she had  assumed that Jay must have shared it with her. She could well  understand him choosing to sleep in a different room after the break-up  of the marriage, but what she couldn't fathom out was why this one room  out of the whole house had not been redecorated.    

 



 

Arming herself with clean sheets, she set about making the bed. Jay had  his own private bathroom off his bedroom, and she was just on her way  out when she remembered he would need fresh towels.

The telephone rang, distracting her. She hurried to answer it, surprised to hear Jay's voice as she picked up the receiver.

I just thought I'd let you know I'd landed. I'm calling in at the factory on my way back. I should be home for about six.'

He didn't say anything else. Claire had no opportunity to ask him about  the contract. He had sounded tired, and he had made no mention of his  proposal-but then he wouldn't, of course.

What are we going to have for pudding?' Lucy asked her as she walked into the kitchen.

You could make an apple pie,' suggested Heather eagerly. It's Daddy's favourite.'

Telling herself that it was what she had, after all, planned to make,  Claire cleared the table and started making pastry, carefully checking  the enthusiastic assistance of her two helpers'.

Baking was something she had always found therapeutic, and somehow one  thing led to another. The mouthwatering aroma of cooking pastry and  fruit mingled with that of the chicken, and Claire was just putting a  final dollop of mixture in to some bun tins when she heard the sound of a  car.

It's Jay,' shrieked Lucy eagerly, scrambling down from her stool, and rushing for the back door.

Jay reached it first, his eyebrows lifting slightly as he walked in.

You're early?' For some reason Claire felt oddly shaky. He looked so  alien standing in the kitchen, in his immaculate business suit and his  crisp white shirt.

Yes  …  and we've been making your very favourite-apple pie,' Lucy announced.

A sudden awareness of pastry-sticky fingers and flour-smeared hands made  Claire dart forward to pick Lucy up before she could inflict any damage  on his immaculate suit, but Jay forestalled her, swinging Lucy up into  his arms, so that she shrieked with delight.

Jay, your suit  … ' She reached up automatically to brush off the floury  marks left by Lucy's hands and then realised to her mortification that  her own were equally floury.

Stop fussing, it will clean.'

He put Lucy down and held out his arms to Heather. As always she clung  to Claire's side. Bending down, she gave her a little push. Go and kiss  Daddy hello.'

Over Heather's dark head Jay gave her a wry look.

Odd, isn't it? Your daughter can't wait to fling herself into my arms, whereas mine  … '

Give her time,' Claire urged in a low voice. She's such a sensitive  child, and she's had too many upheavals in her life. She needs to learn  that she can trust you always to be there. She needs stability  … '

Yes, she does.'

The look he gave her was direct and determined, and ridiculously, Claire felt hot colour sting her face.

Luc's impatient tug on her skirt caused a welcome diversion. Mummy, what's a woman?'

Claire was perplexed. She looked down at her daughter. I'm not sure what you mean, Lucy.'

Well, when you were talking to Mrs Vickers after school yesterday and  Heather and me went in the post office, Mrs Simmonds was there and she  said that you were Lucy's daddy's woman.'

Over her daughter's auburn curls Claire's shocked eyes met the grim expression in Jay's.

I  … '

It means that your mummy and I are going to get married,' Jay  announced, ignoring the choked sound that emitted from Claire's throat.

You mean like real mummies and daddies?' Lucy was plainly ecstatic about the idea. And we'll live here for always?'

Something like that,' he agreed urbanely. He was still watching her,  Claire realised, a hard purposefulness in his eyes that warned her that  he had made her decision for her, and he wasn't going to let her back  out of it.

She ought to have been furious with him for his highhandedness, but in  reality it was a relief. Her decision had in fact already been made, but  the knowledge that their relationship was the subject of village gossip  and speculation wouldn't have made it any easier for her to communicate  it to Jay.

Feeling rather feeble, she said unsteadily, Lucy, you're covered in flour; why don't you and Heather go upstairs and clean up?'

As Jay put her down, Heather put her hand on Claire's arms and looked up at her. Are you really going to be here for always?'

The expression in her eyes wasn't something Claire had the strength to  withstand. Going down on her heels so that her face was on a level with  the little girl's, she asked huskily, Is that what you want, Heather,  for me to be here for always?'    

 



 

Yes  …  yes  … ' A fierce hug accompanied the emphatic words.

Then I will be.'

Although she was speaking to Heather, Claire knew that her words were  meant for Jay. As she stood up she looked at him and caught an  expression on his face that puzzled her. He looked like a man who had  been under almost unendurable pressure and who had now found it relaxed.

Claire waited until both girls were out of the kitchen before speaking to him.

You had no right to tell them that.'

He didn't argue with her, simply flexed his body as though it ached. It saves you from making any decision though, doesn't it?'

Claire's mouth compressed as she caught the tinge of contempt in his  voice. Did he really think she was incapable of deciding for herself? On  the verge of telling him that she had already decided to marry him for  herself, she caught the words back, and said instead, I shouldn't have  thought a little bit of village gossip would worry you to that extent.'

It doesn't,' he agreed flatly. At least, not on my own behalf, and  especially when there are no grounds for it-but I don't want either of  the girls to be subjected to the sort of sniggered whispers that go the  rounds of every school playground. Okay, right now they're too innocent  to understand what's being said, but for how long?' He looked at her,  and for the first time Claire saw the exhaustion in his face. Before we  go any further, can I take it that since you didn't contradict what I  said to the girls about our plans for the future, you are going to marry  me?'