Sinful Nights(78)

But he no longer wanted a woman's love, she reminded herself as she went  to make them both a cup of coffee, so really it was just as well that  she was incapable of giving him it.

IN THE SCRAMBLE TO GET the girls and herself ready for an early start,  mercifully Claire hadn't had much time to worry about the commitment she  was about to make.

However, once she was inside the car, she had all the time in the world to worry about what she was doing.

Jay was a skilled but careful driver; the girls were both occupied with  giggles and private chatter in the back; the music drifting from the  stereo was designed to calm and relax; yet as the miles went by Claire  found herself growing more and more tense, more and more convinced that  she was doing the wrong thing, that she was, in fact, mad even to  consider marrying. How on earth could it work?

Stop worrying; everything will be fine, you'll see. Just think, in  twenty-five years from today, you and I will be celebrating our silver  wedding.'

His uncanny ability to divine her thoughts unnerved her. Unlike her, Jay  seemed to have no doubts about the wisdom or the stability of their  marriage, but then he already had something to compare it with,  something to work towards, while she  …

It was too late for second thoughts, Claire told herself firmly. She had  already made a commitment to Heather, even though she hadn't yet made  one to Jay, and on that count alone it was too late for going back.

Even so, she still found it hard to relax. Panic cramped through her  stomach, an apprehension quite unlike any of her previous experiences  enveloping her.

All the local weather seers had predicted a bad winter, and looking at  the rolling countryside, held fast in the iron grip of a frost which  turned the golden stubble monochrome, and lay across the bareness of the  hedges like icing sugar, Claire could well believe that they were  right.

In summer it was pretty countryside, but now the lavish display of  autumn leaves had gone, and without the starkness that made harsher  countryside look magnificent and awesome in winter, the bare fields only  looked melancholic-or was that simply her imagination?

Just outside Bath, Jay turned off the main road, and drove in through an  imposing gateway. Only a discreet plaque set into one of the brick  pillars supporting the wrought iron gates betrayed that this was a  hotel.    

 



 

Beyond an avenue of bare trees Claire saw the house: soft cream Cotswold stone, the precision of a Georgian facade.

A high wall joined what Claire suspected had originally been the stable  block to the main building, and Heather called out delightedly, Look  …   it's just like The Secret Garden!'

Look, Mummy, horses!' Lucy, wide-eyed, tugged on her sleeve as she  pressed her nose to the car window. In a paddock opposite the house  several horses had gathered by the fence.

There's a riding school here,' explained Jay. Lessons can be arranged for the guests.'

Does that mean that we can ride?' breathed Lucy expectantly.

Since their removal to the country, Lucy had developed an intense  passion for horses and ponies, and Claire suppressed a faint sigh.  Riding lessons are very expensive, Lucy,' Claire cautioned, and  besides, Heather might not want to ride.'

Yes, I do. I'd like a pony of my own. We both would.'

I think we're the victims of a two-pronged attack,' Jay murmured soto  voce to Claire, but she saw that he was smiling. We probably won't have  time for riding lessons while we're here,' he told them, ignoring the  protests of disappointment. But maybe  …  maybe  …  if you're both very  good, Father Christmas  … '

It was enough to produce ecstatic sighs of anticipation, and to keep  them quiet as Jay stopped the car, and got out to go round and open  Claire's door.

Don't worry about the luggage. Someone will come out for it. Come on,  you two,' he called to the girls as they paused to give wistful glances  in the direction of the paddock.

Heather's growing,' he murmured to Claire.

Mmm. They both are,' but because, obviously, no one had paid any  attention to Heather's wardrobe for quite a long time, her skirt was  well above her small knees. It's going to prove an expensive couple of  days,' Claire warned Jay. Both of them need new school clothes. Of  course, I'll pay for Lucy's, but  … '

No.'

The sudden, unexpected pressure of his fingers on her arm shocked her  into immobility. He was close enough for her to see the fine lines  fanning out from his eyes-eyes that had gone cold and dark with anger.  When he was like this he could be very forbidding indeed, she thought,  noticing the way his mouth had hardened.

No, Claire,' he said in a softer tone. I told you that from now on,  financially, Lucy would be my responsibility, and I meant it. That's  part of my contribution to our marriage; please don't deprive me of  making it. I don't want to feel beholden to you any more than you do to  me, you know. We're partners in this-equal partners.'

She knew that he was right.

He released her arm and she shivered suddenly, missing the protection of  his tall body as he moved away from her, and a cold wind bit through  her thin jacket.

Come on, let's get inside; it's cold out here. Come on, you two,' he  called to the girls. You can admire your new friends later.'

It was an odd sensation to have someone concerned for her comfort after  being independent and alone for so long, even if he was only being  courteous.

Inside, the hotel retained much of its countryhouse flavour. A smiling  receptionist handed Jay a key, and called for a porter to show them the  way to their suite. She was a pretty girl with blonde hair and nice  teeth, and the way she smiled at Jay reminded Claire of just how  sexually attractive he was. That knowledge seemed to heighten her own  sense of inadequacy reminding her sharply of all that she wasn't and  never could be.

But it was because of the things that she was that Jay was marrying her,  she reminded herself firmly, and not the things she was not.

Their suite was magnificent: a sitting-room and three bedrooms, each  with its own private bathroom, coordinated throughout in toning shades  of French blue and terracotta. Here were several ideas she could copy  for their own guest suites, and for the house itself, Claire reflected,  making a closer examination of some decorative faux marbling on the door  frames.

What do you think of it?' Jay asked her, strolling over to join her as she studied the attractive décor of the sitting-room.

It's lovely!'

Yes. It certainly should be; they've spent a fortune on renovating the  place.' He moved past her to look more closely at the delicate  plasterwork on one of the walls, and instantly Claire realised.

It's yours, isn't it? The plasterwork  … '

He was grinning hugely, looking almost carefree.    

 



 

Yes, and the columns that have been marbled. I like the way they've  done this, don't you?' he asked her, indicating a panel on the wall  where the decorative plasterwork inside it had been delicately tinged in  a soft terracotta fading to palest peach. I wonder how they do it.'

By putting on the colour and then wiping it off.' Claire told him  promptly. That way, only the most raised parts of the design get the  paint.'

She saw his eyebrows lift and explained. It's something I'm very  interested in, and last winter I got several books from the library on  the subject. We could try something similar in the drawing-room, if you  like, it's certainly large enough to take it.'

Mummy, which bedroom is going to be ours?'

Lucy's impatient question distracted them both, and Claire suggested to  her daughter that she and Heather should share the room with the two  single beds in it.

While she was talking to them, the porter came up with their luggage. Jay tipped him and then glanced at his watch.

It's gone twelve o'clock. How about an early lunch and then shopping  this afternoon?' To Claire he added, We won't have time now, but later  I'll show you the sports centre they have here. It's very luxurious, and  we supplied the plaster columns that surround the swimming pool. We  were called in after they had a bad fire eighteen months ago, and we had  to replace and match a lot of the original plasterwork. This hotel is  part of a small but very prestigious group which specialises in these  country-house settings. We're in the process of negotiating a contract  with them for work in other hotels owned by the group.'

He broke off suddenly and frowned, his voice brusque. I'm sorry, you don't want to hear all about that. It's boring  … '

It isn't boring at all,' Claire contradicted him quickly. I think it's fascinating.'

Jay gave her an odd look, and for the first time she saw in him  Heather's vulnerability. She reached out to touch his arm in the same  comforting way she would have done one of the girls, and as she touched  him, he stopped dead and stared down at her. Immediately Claire withdrew  from him, her face scarlet.

I'm sorry, I  … '

Don't be. There's no need.'

The way he was looking at her made her feel quite odd, breathless and  slightly light-headed, and then the lift arrived and he looked away, and  everything returned to normal.