Sinful Nights(69)

Icy flurries of rain stung their faces; the girls' hooded coats kept  them fairly dry, but Claire's raincoat had no hood, and one look at the  weather had convinced her of the folly of trying to use her umbrella.  She could feel the rain soaking into her hair, releasing its errant  curl, and the walk down the country lane to Whitegates, which was  normally such a pleasure, had become more of an ordeal.

The house was warm, thanks to Claire's foresight in turning on the  central heating when she had called earlier with the shopping. She made  both girls strip off their wellingtons and coats in the kitchen, hanging  them up to dry.

Jay's flight should have landed by now, but the bad weather might have  delayed it. She glanced at her watch and frowned. It was barely five  o'clock, but already it was very dark outside.

Having checked that both girls had put on their slippers, she agreed  that they could go into the sitting-room to watch television.

Despite the expensive furnishings, the house always struck Claire as  being very unwelcoming. She had always been very sensitive to  atmosphere, and it sometimes seemed to her that the house was rejecting  its inhabitants in the same way that a child will reject those it senses  do not give it love.

The kitchen was fitted with every electrical device known to man, or so  it seemed; the units were undoubtedly very expensive and stylish, but  Claire found the white and grey décor of the room distinctly chilling.  It was not a kitchen she could ever imagine herself enjoying working in.  It was too glossy and sterile, looking more like something out of a  magazine advertisement than part of a home. She always felt faintly  uncomfortable in it, afraid almost of leaving so much as a finger-mark  on the brilliant work-tops.

What she had seen of the rest of the house was the same: sterile and  cold. She often wondered who had chosen the décor, Jay or his wife. It  seemed inconceivable that any woman with a small child would opt for  off-white carpet and white leather furniture, but then neither could she  see Jay choosing the thick white goatskin rugs in the drawing room.

White was the colour of purity; it was also the colour of snow, and that  was how Claire perceived the house's décor, cold and frigid,  unwelcoming, and unliveable-in.

She turned on the oven and took out of the fridge the casserole she had  brought with her earlier in the day. She didn't normally prepare a meal  for Jay, but tonight was an exception; no doubt he would be feeling both  cold and tired when he did arrive.    

 



 

Both she and the girls had eaten at the cottage. She didn't like the  thought of them spilling anything on that sterile white marble kitchen  table, or those immaculate grey tiles that covered the floor.

Jay had managed to find an agency who had agreed to take over the  cleaning of the house, but as yet he had found no one who could care for  his daughter. Secretly Claire was glad, and she knew that when the time  eventually came she would miss Heather very much indeed. Lucy, with her  sunny practical nature, was not the slightest bit jealous or resentful  about sharing her mother with her friend.

As she moved automatically about the kitchen she frowned, wondering what  the future held for Heather: a succession of nannies, perhaps, followed  by boarding school? There were doubtless many children for whom such a  regime would lead to a perfectly happy and well adjusted adult life, but  Heather was so sensitive and withdrawn already. It was none of her  business what arrangements Jay might choose to make for his daughter,  Claire reminded herself firmly, but no amount of logic or reason could  cancel out the bond of love that had built up between Heather and  herself. When she lost her, it would in some ways be like losing her own  child. Ridiculously, especially in the circumstances, she was already  worrying about whether someone else would know how much care and  cherishing the little girl needed. And that wasn't her only concern. She  was also worried that Heather would see her withdrawal from her life in  the manner of a betrayal, or worse, and although she had scrupulously  tried to prepare her for their eventual parting, she sensed that Heather  was too young to genuinely comprehend what lay ahead.

It was gone seven o'clock when Claire eventually heard Jay's car draw up outside.

Lucy came dashing into the kitchen almost before the engine had died.

Jay's back!' she called out excitedly, pouting a little when Claire grasped her firmly by one arm and reminded her,

Jay is Heather's daddy, Lucy.'

But for all her encouragement, Heather made no attempt to rush to the  door and give Jay the exuberant welcome Lucy always favoured him with.

Claire saw the moment that the kitchen door opened that he was tired. He  dumped his overnight case by the door and grimaced faintly across the  kitchen.

Sorry I'm late, but the plane was delayed.'

Yes, we thought it might be.' She gave Heather a little push towards  her father, releasing a faintly tense breath as the little girl gave him  a slightly shy hug.

Lucy had no such inhibitions, flinging herself against his knees and lifting up a shining little face for his kiss.

With one little girl in his arms and the other clinging to his side, he  still managed to retain the aura of the male predator rather than that  of domesticity.

His hair had grown, Claire noticed idly, and he seemed to have lost a  little more weight. It was stupid and totally unnecessary for her to  worry about him; if he knew, he was more likely to be irritated by her  concern than anything else.

Something smells good.'

It's a casserole. I thought you might be hungry.'

I am. Have I got time to shower and change?'

Claire nodded her head.

Good. How about someone bringing me a drink?' he suggested, putting Heather down and smiling at her.

I'll do it,' Lucy piped up instantly, and Claire suppressed a faint sigh.

Why don't both of you do it?' suggested Jay diplomatically. I shan't be long,' he promised Claire. About ten minutes.'

Of course she was the one who poured out the whisky and soda she knew he  liked, warning Heather to be careful as she carried it upstairs. She  knew which was Jay's room, but she had never been inside it; there was  no need. And yet as she stood at the bottom of the stairs watching her  charges' careful progress she had an instant's appalling awareness of  Jay's lean body as he divested it of the civilisation of clothes.

She shuddered tensely, closing her eyes to blot out the image, and when  she opened them again she was trembling violently. She had never seen a  naked man, not really, and she had never wanted to, so why that brief,  illuminating image?

Jay was as good as his word, returning downstairs within ten minutes,  dressed in jeans and a checked wool shirt. His hair was still damp, and  the clean male scent of his soap mingled with the aroma of the  casserole, cutting sharply through the domestic atmosphere of the  kitchen, bringing in an alien and predatory note that made Claire's body  tense as she moved automatically away from him.

She saw him frown, his mouth tightening as though in some way her reaction displeased him.

You should know by now that I'm not going to pounce on you, Claire.'    

 



 

Her face flushed. I know that.'

Then why the so-obvious retreat?'

Perhaps I'm just one of those people who likes a lot of personal space.'

Maybe, but you must have allowed it to be invaded at one time,' he  retorted, glancing meaningfully at Lucy, just in case she should be  unaware of what he was saying.

Claire gnawed nervously at her bottom lip, wondering what on earth she  could say, but to her surprise, Jay made a sound of wry self-disgust and  apologised quietly,

I'm sorry. It's been a hell of a fortnight, and the delay in landing  didn't help matters. That doesn't excuse me taking my frustrations out  on you, I know. It's good to come home and find you here, Claire,' he  added slowly, totally confounding her.

I  …  we really ought to be leaving.' She placed his meal in front of him, avoiding his eyes. It's getting late  … '

You're not walking back on a night like this. I'll run you there after I've eaten.'

To drag him out again on a night like tonight, when he was plainly so  tired, was the last thing Claire wanted, but she sensed that to argue  would only harden his determination.

I'll make you some coffee,' she suggested instead.

You know, delicious though this is, it's a little bit off-putting to  eat it all alone. Next time, why don't we all eat together?'

Taken thoroughly off guard by his statement, Claire stared at him. She  had scrupulously avoided doing anything that might even hint at any  degree of intimacy between them, and for him to suggest that they all  ate together, almost as though they were a family unit  …

To save herself from pursuing her thoughts any further she said quickly,  I don't like letting the girls eat in here. Everything's so spotless,'  she told him, seeing his uncomprehending frown. I'm always afraid  they'll make a mess.'

She saw his attention focus on the kitchen and sweep round it, as though he were seeing it properly for the first time.

Susie was responsible for all the decorating and the furniture.'