Sinful Nights(54)

She watched in anguish as he raised his hand and rubbed it off.

Even if you didn't care about humiliating me, Joel,' she said tiredly  as he re-started the engine, I should have thought you might have  spared some consideration for Peter. After all he is supposed to be your  friend.'

Peter knew what he was getting into when he married Marisa,' Joel informed her harshly.

After that neither of them spoke until they reached Winterly. Lissa got  out of the car quickly and went straight upstairs to the girls' room.  Mrs Fuller had promised to listen out for them, but they were both fast  asleep. Emma was sucking her thumb, Lissa released it from her mouth,  and bent down to kiss both girls, tears stinging her eyes. Joel had  married her for their sake; and she must always bear that in mind. The  tender, caring lover she thought she remembered had just been an  illusion. Now she had no idea why Joel had made love to her. Once she  had thought she knew, but after tonight  …  She shuddered, suddenly  picturing him with Marisa  …  the sickness grew inside her and she dashed  into the girls' bathroom. Joel walked in just as she was wiping her  face, frowning quickly.

Something wrong?'

I must have eaten something that disagreed with me,' Lissa told him  shakily, snapping off the light. I think I'll go to bed now, Joel. I'm  tired.'

Of me? Is that what that little speech to Marisa about marriage was all about?'

He followed her into their room and tugged savagely at his shirt  buttons, stopping suddenly to frown and walk over to his tallboy. He  opened a drawer and took out a long flat gift-wrapped package, which he  tossed casually over to her. I nearly forgot, today's your birthday,  isn't it?'

Lissa could have wept. It was, and she herself had almost forgotten  about it. She would rather have had no present at all from Joel than one  thrown at her in this careless manner which made it plain that it was  no more than a duty gift.

Aren't you going to open it?'

She did so reluctantly with fingers that trembled, unable to suppress a  small gasp of surprise when she opened the slim box and discovered the  pearl choker inside.

I  … ' She didn't know what to say to him. Tears misted her vision,  swimming in front of her eyes. She touched the pearls gently, and wished  that he was giving her this gift with love and caring.

They're beautiful.'

I bought them because the texture and sheen reminded me of your skin.'

Her eyes opened wider, her head lifting until her glance met his, the  visions conjured up in her mind by his quiet words making her go hot  with need. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine he was  touching her, caressing her with the slow intensity she remembered so  vividly, learning the contours of her body, absorbing her into himself  as though he never wanted to be apart from her.

I  … '

I went up to London to get them the other day,' he continued quietly,  but now there was a new note to his voice, a grim bitterness that caught  her attention. She frowned and he laughed harshly. Yes, that's right  …   the day you also decided to visit the city. Why did you go there,  Lissa? Or can I guess? Was the temptation to see Greaves too much to  resist? Did you want to see what effect you would have on him now that  you're free to take him as your lover? Did you, Lissa? Did you let him  take you back to his flat and make love to you?'

Lissa could only stare at him. Joel had seen her with Simon! She  remembered now that she had felt as though someone had been watching her  when they were sitting in the café. The words of explanation and denial  trembled on the tip of her tongue, and then she remembered Marisa.    

 



 

Is that why you made it so obvious tonight that Marisa is your  mistress, Joel?' she countered with commendable coolness. Because you  saw me with Simon?'

So you don't deny it?'

He was watching her with menacing intensity, the glittering rage so  clearly discernible in his eyes igniting a strange mixture of misery and  exhilaration inside her which spurred her on to ignore the warning  signs.

Why should I? Do you deny that Marisa is your mistress? If you are free  to enjoy a sexual relationship with someone else, then why should I not  be?'

If it's sex you want, then I can satisfy that need for you right here and now.'

Too late she realised her mistake. Lissa backed away hastily, the box  containing her pearls clattering on to the carpet. Common sense told her  to face Joel and tell him quite simply that it was all a stupid  mistake, and that far from encouraging Simon to make sexual advances  towards her, she had been telling him quite categorically that she  didn't want him, but something deeper than common sense took hold of  her. She turned to run, motivated purely by blind, unthinking instinct.  Joel caught her before she reached the door, swinging her round and into  his arms, tightening them round her until she could feel the buttons of  his shirt pressing into her. Even to breathe hurt, and although she  twisted desperately against him she couldn't break free. One hand  tangled in her hair, tugging painfully on the roots forcing her mouth to  accept the bruising pressure of his. He kissed her with a sexual  savagery that shocked her, and yet beneath her fear and anger ran an  undeniable thread of liquid pleasure; a fierce need to match fire with  fire and to respond to him with all the aching need that was building up  inside her. It was hard to fight against herself and him, and even  while she told herself that this was not right; that any intimacy  between them while he was in this savagely punishing mood could only  lead to further unhappiness for her, she could feel her will to resist  slipping away from her. It was no use telling herself that he was simply  using her as a vent for his frustrations and anger  …  that afterwards  she would only feel renewed self-contempt and loathing  …  that by  responding to him she was endangering her own self-respect. Her mouth  softened under his, her heart thudding with delirious release as he  recognised her surrender and took swift advantage of it, his tongue  impatiently seeking access to her mouth, and when granted it, using her  weakness ruthlessly against her. His fingers found her zipper and slid  it down. Lissa was dimly conscious of his hands against her skin,  smoothing up over her back, making her shiver first with pleasure and  then with need as he pushed her dress away from her body. She was  touching him too, sliding her hands inside his shirt, rediscovering the  contours of his body. His mouth left hers, burning hotly against her  skin as he tilted her head back, devastating her senses as he slowly  ravaged the taut column of her throat.

Is this what you want, Lissa?' His fingers sought the clasp of her bra,  freeing her breasts to his knowing touch. She managed a strangled  protest that died away into a whimpering admission of pleasure as his  lips followed his hands, the movement of his tongue roughly erotic as it  brushed the sensitive peaks of her breasts. Her fingers bit  protestingly into his shoulders, a fierce surge of pride and anger that  he could do this to her making her fight against the sexual coercion he  was using so cold bloodedly. He made a harsh sound of pain but far from  releasing her pushed her down on to the bed, following her there.  Momentarily her hands were free, and Lissa used them to fend him off,  anger turning swiftly to fear when her nail accidentally caught his  shoulder, tearing his flesh. Joel swore, swiftly imprisoning both her  hands, pinning them above her head. A wild reckless sexual excitement  thundered through her as she saw his expression and read in his eyes the  same fierce hunger that was in her own. Joel wanted her! It was  savagely satisfying to know that even though he loved Marisa she could  make him want her. She wanted to taunt him with her knowledge to  humiliate and denigrate him as he had done her. He moved against her,  expelling a deep breath, and she caught sight of the thin thread of  blood against his skin where she had scratched him. His glance followed  hers. Their eyes meshed, his burning dark metallic gold, hers a dark  bright, defiant hazel. She could feel the hard muscles of his thighs  against her body  …  she knew that he wanted her  …  This should have been  her moment of triumph, her chance to show him that he was not  invincible. He moved slightly and her eyes were drawn back to his  shoulder. Almost absently she touched his skin with her tongue, feeling  him flinch and tense. His blood tasted slightly rusty, the knowledge  that she had caused it to flow turning her bitterness to guilt. What if  at this moment he did want her? Wasn't he only really using her as an  escape valve because he couldn't have the woman he really loved? The  fight went out of her, leaving her empty  …  drained. She felt Joel's  grasp of her wrists slacken and prepared to move away from him. His hand  cupped her face and she turned to look at him, dreading the words of  contempt she was sure she was going to hear. As she looked into his eyes  the expression glittering back at her there was one she didn't  recognise. His skin seemed to be drawn too tightly over his bones, a  dark flush staining it.