Sinful Nights(34)

Chiding herself for her weakness she went into her bedroom, hastily  packing enough clothes to last the weekend, and then before she could  change her mind, she pulled on a jacket, collected her car keys and  carrying her overnight bag marched towards her front door.

There was a freezing wind blowing, driving needle sharp flurries of icy  snow into her face, and Lissa huddled deeper into her jacket as she made  for the lock-up garage block where she kept her car.    

 



 

The traffic through the centre of London was bad enough to need all her  concentration. Once on the M4 though she turned on her radio, and  listened with grim foreboding to the weather forecast. A drop in  temperature and snow, but not until late evening. Well she should be  safely at Winterly by then.

Once off the M4 she drove carefully along the familiar country roads.  She had spent all her childhood living in Dorset, the names of the  villages she drove through composed a familiar litany. Her parents' old  home lay only fifteen miles from Winterly. Amanda and John had met at  the home of mutual friends, and the tiny village five miles east of  Winterly she was now approaching was also the nearest village to her  parents' old home. Nothing had changed, she thought with a hard pang of  nostalgia as she negotiated the sharp bend in the centre of the town  where the Tudor building now housing a bank jutted dangerously into the  centre of the road. A sign outside a shop, fluttering in the cold wind  caught her eye and she drew up outside it. A cup of coffee was just what  she needed right now. Coward, an inner voice chided her as she climbed  out of the Mini and locked it. She didn't really want a drink, she  simply wanted to put off facing Joel.

The small town was busy with Saturday shoppers, but she was lucky enough  to find a small corner table still free. A smiling waitress came to  take her order, the familiarity of her soft Dorset burr taking Lissa  back in time.

She had just received her order when she heard someone call her name in an incredulous voice.

Lissa, it is you isn't it?' the feminine voice exclaimed, a pretty  plump brunette of about her own age hurrying over to her table, a  wriggling toddler tucked securely under one arm.

Helen  …  Helen Martin,' Lissa exclaimed in turn, recognising an old school friend.'

Helen Turner now,' the latter laughed. Do you mind if I join you?'

No, please do  … '

Aware that Helen was studying her, Lissa strove to appear calm and  friendly. At one time she and Helen had been best friends', but after  …   but after she was fifteen they had drifted apart.

I was sorry to hear about Amanda and John,' Helen said quietly at last.  It must have been a dreadful shock for you. Joel has got the children  hasn't he? Poor little things. They must miss their parents dreadfully.'  She pulled a face. Somehow I can't see Joel in the role of doting  uncle. Has he changed at all or is he still as masterful and macho as  ever.'

I don't see much of him these days,' Lissa said assuming a fake  casualness. In fact I'm on my way to Winterly now. We're joint  guardians of the girls.' She might as well let it be known that Joel  wasn't solely responsible for her nieces' welfare.

Yes, you're godmother to both of them aren't you.' Helen broke off as  her son reached for his glass of orange juice, almost tipping it over.

Are you married yourself?' she asked when she had rescued the glass. I  remember I always used to think you would marry young and have a brood  of children.'

No, I'm still single,' Lissa told her calmly. It was true that when  they were teenagers she had yearned for the security of a loving husband  and children, but in those days she had been so ridiculously innocent,  wanting without realising it to compensate herself for the lack of love  in her own home.

Umm  …  Well it can only be by choice,' Helen said frankly, wrinkling her  nose as she studied Lissa's smoothly made-up face and immaculate hair.  You look very lovely and elegant Lissa, I hardly recognised you at  first. What have you been doing with yourself? I know your parents sent  you away to school  … ' She grimaced faintly. And it was all my fault  really wasn't it? If I hadn't persuaded you to go to that party with me.  My parents gave me hell for that, I can tell you. What exactly  happened?' she asked curiously.

Oh nothing much.' Lissa was proud of her cool offhand tone. It was all very much a storm in a teacup.'

Yes, that's what my parents thought,' Helen agreed. I remember them  discussing it at the time. My father always thought your people were too  strict with you.' She giggled lightly. All I can remember is you  disappearing upstairs with Gordon Salter and then the next minute your  folks storming in with Joel Hargreaves, demanding to know where you  were.' She rolled her eyes and grinned. Funny how seeing someone you  haven't seen in a while brings back old memories. You didn't come back  to school with the rest of us after that summer holiday did you? Your  folks sent you off to boarding school didn't they?'    

 



 

Yes.'

Lissa looked down at her coffee cup, gripping her hands together under the table to stop them from shaking.

Helen was looking at her watch. Heavens I must fly,' she exclaimed. I  promised Bill I'd meet him in the DIY centre at one, and it's nearly  that now. Come on poppet,' she commanded, picking up her son. Nice to  see you again Lissa  …  Bye.'

She had been gone five minutes before Lissa felt relaxed enough to pick  up her coffee cup and drink what was left of her coffee, and then when  that was done she simply sat staring into space, unable to drag herself  back to the present  …  too caught up in the memories of the past Helen  had unleashed. What Helen remembered as merely an awkward incident had  had such far reaching effects on her own life that even now still  affected her.

Sighing faintly Lissa leaned back in her chair, willing her body to  relax. She had been so excited about that party. Her parents had  forbidden her to go, because they didn't approve of her crowd of  friends. Why couldn't she have nice' friends like Amanda, her mother  had constantly harped? Not that there was anything wrong with the crowd  she went around with; they simply did not have the sort of moneyed  background her parents approved of. This particular Saturday her parents  had been dining with John's family. John and Amanda had been on the  point of announcing their engagement, and Lissa had spent the afternoon  at Helen's bewailing the fact that she was forbidden to attend Gordon's  birthday party. Gordon Salter was something of a local Romeo, and Lissa  had had a mammoth crush on him for several weeks. Why not go to the  party anyway,' Helen had urged her. Her parents need never know. She  could leave early and be back before they even knew she had been out.  Even though she knew it was wrong, Lissa had agreed. After all what did  her parents really care about her, she had argued rebelliously with  herself. Amanda was the one they loved not her.

It had been surprisingly easy to deceive her parents. They had left home  with Amanda a good hour before the party was due to start, leaving  Lissa plenty of time to get ready. She didn't have many going out'  clothes of her own, and on a reckless impulse she had raided her  sister's wardrobe, borrowing' a mini dress which was rather shorter  than short on her much taller frame. Make-up had come next. Some of  Amanda's eyeshadow, and thick black liner applied with a rather unsteady  hand. Lissa had thought the effect rather daring.

She had arranged to meet Helen at Gordon's house, but when she arrived  there her friend had been busy talking to several people she did not  know, and feeling suddenly shy she had felt reluctant to intrude. Gordon  himself had materialised from the kitchen, and had greeted her with a  brief kiss on the cheek. She had been so thrilled and excited that later  she could barely remember accepting the drink he had given her, or  drinking it. She must have done so though; and she had compounded her  folly by drinking two more glasses of Gordon's special punch. That was  why she had agreed to go upstairs with him, thrilled out of her mind  that he should actually fine her desirable. She hadn't been drunk, but  what she had had to drink had been sufficient to rid her of her normally  stifling inhibitions. She could remember quite vividly the thrills of  excitement that had run up and down her spine when Gordon kissed  her-boyish, quite inexperienced kisses really. They had been lying  together on his bed, doing nothing more than exchanging explorative  kisses when the door had suddenly been thrust open and a man Lissa  didn't recognise had appeared framed darkly against the light behind  him. Even now she shuddered slightly remembering the sickness and fear  that had then crawled down her spine. Before she could even move her  father was in the room, dragging her off the bed, saying things to her,  calling her names  …  that had numbed her senses and her tongue.

What had followed had all the trappings of the very worst kind of  nightmares. Her parents had dragged her home in a thick silence, but  once there, the real torment had started. What had she been doing with  that boy? her mother demanded. They had questioned her in her father's  study with Joel Hargreaves standing impassively by, listening to every  single word. Lissa thought now she had never hated anyone in all her  life as she had hated him that night. Send him away, she had demanded  tearfully of her parents, but her father had refused. No Lissa. I want  Joel to know what sort of girl his brother is going to get for a  sister-in-law. Had you no thought for your sister when you disobeyed  us?' he demanded, adding, do you think it fair that she should be  tarred with the same brush as you?'