Sinful Nights(33)

So would you if you'd just been told that you aren't a fit person to  have charge of your nieces because you aren't rich enough to sway the  opinion of the Judge.'

She was so overwrought that she was barely aware what she was saying,  and unacknowledged, but at the bottom of her, agony was the memory of  past hurts and humiliations and of one in particular so painful to call  to mind even now that the thought of it seared her mind, making her  shiver convulsively and grip her hands together.    

 



 

Gradually Simon got the full story out of her, and then eventually said  lightly, Well it seems to me that there's only one solution, and that's  for you to get engaged to me.' He saw her face; and before she could  utter her denial said coaxingly, Lissa, you know how much I want you  …   how I feel about you. Just give us a chance  …  If we were engaged I'm  sure the court would be bound to view you in a more favourable light.  Solid, respectable background for the kids and all that.'

He was offering her an engagement ring in exchange for the use of her  body, Lissa thought sadly, and who was she to blame him for that? She  had made it more than clear that she would never willingly give herself  to him physically.

No, Simon it wouldn't work out.'

Just for a second the mingled anger and frustration in his eyes  frightened her. It showed her a Simon she had never seen before. She  ought to have remembered that the powerful sexual drive that was in men  to possess and dominate her sex could change even the mildest of them  into a frightening stranger. She of all people ought to have known that.

Because you damn well won't give it a chance to work out,' he swore at  her. Christ Lissa, what is it with you? Anyone would think you were  still a timid little virgin.' He saw her face and his expression  changed, frightening her again as she saw the male satisfaction and  victory in it, Exultation crept into his voice as he said softly.  That's it isn't it? You are still a virgin? Oh darling  … ' He was  smiling at her now, coming towards her. Any moment now he would be  touching her. Lissa stood up shakily and edged away from him. No, don't  run away  … ' He was practically crooning with delight and she felt  sickness stab through her. She couldn't move  …  couldn't do anything to  stop his arms coming round her, pulling her against his body. She went  rigid at the intimacy of it, loathing him and loathing herself because  she felt the way she did.

Don't be frightened  …  there's nothing to be frightened of  …  I'll make  it good for you, wait and see  …  it will be so good  …  so  … '

He wasn't really talking to her, Lissa thought with frigid distaste; he  was thinking of his own pleasure; his own satisfaction. Held fast in his  arms she felt as though she were two people; the frightened, terrified  creature who couldn't break free of his hold; and then another,  immeasurably older person who stood outside of her body and watched;  censorious and cold, reminding her that she had no one but herself to  blame for feeling the way she did. She shuddered with revulsion as she  felt his hot mouth pressing against her throat. The outer office door  opened and she was dimly aware of someone coming in, and then behind her  a familiar and loathed voice drawled softly, Well, well  …  so this is  how you spend your time these days is it Lissa  …  Nothing's changed  then.'

Simon released her immediately, pushing his fingers through his hair in a  way he had when he was caught at a disadvantage. Tall though he was,  the newcomer towered over him. Few men could compete with Joel  Hargreaves when it came to sheer masculinity, Lissa thought bitterly,  turning round to face her tormentor.

Joel?' She smiled thinly at him, grateful for the fact that she had  somehow recovered her poise. As you say nothing's changed  …  You, I see  still have the habit of bursting in on people unannounced. What were you  hoping to find this time? Evidence to prove that I'm not a fit person  to have charge of the girls?'

The wide male mouth slashed into an open curl of contempt. I don't need  to go looking for that Lissa. It's all there, documented and collated  and I don't even need to look for a witness do I? I saw the whole thing  for myself.'

She wanted to cry out a denial, to hide away from the merciless scrutiny  of his hard gold eyes, but she wasn't fifteen anymore and so she tilted  her chin and said coldly, Your own personal life wouldn't bear too  much close scrutiny Joel. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones  should they?'

He had a trick of looking at someone beneath those heavy lidded eyes  that had always made her heart pound with a mixture of fear and  apprehension. He did it now, making her feel as though he could see  through her forehead and into the farther-most recesses of her brain.

I want to talk to you,' he said calmly. I've got a busy morning but I could see you at lunch time.'

And deny yourself the opportunity of lunching with your latest  ladyfriend whoever she might be?' Lissa snapped. Don't bother. I've  only one thing to say to you Joel and that is that I'm not giving up my  rights to the girls, no matter what you say or do. Amanda appointed me  as their guardian  … '    

 



 

Silly, loyal Amanda,' Joel derided her sister. I'll bet when she did  it, she never thought you might actually have to have charge of them.  Your mother wouldn't have approved.'

It hurt because it was the truth, but Lissa refused to give in to the  pain. She had enough experience of Joel's methods of waging warfare to  know that he always aimed for his opponents' most vounerable spots, and  he knew hers to a nicety.

I'm not giving them up Joel,' she repeated coolly, And this is a  private office. If you want to communicate with me, please do so through  my solicitor.' As she finished speaking she walked past him and into  her own office, firmly closing the door behind her. Two minutes later  she heard the outer door slam and then Simon walked into her office.

Phew,' he commented theatrically, raising his eyebrows. So that's the fabled Joel Hargreaves.'

Joel was constantly appearing in the gossip press. He had fingers in  many financial pies and was known as much for being a highly successful  entrepreneur as he was for his womanising. Quite a man,' Simon  murmured.

If you like the type.' Lissa managed a thin smile. Personally I don't.'

No, I could see that.'

Lissa had a small smile at the smug satisfaction in Simon's tone.  Physically, they couldn't be more dissimilar. Simon although tall was  slim and boyish with his shock of sunbleached fair hair and his easy  smile. Joel in contrast, was taller, broader, the epitome of everything  that was intensely male. His skin was olive coloured, his eyes a  glinting rich gold, his hair dark and thick. Once, rather fancifully  before she had really known him Lissa had imagined that he might have  posed for a statue of Achilles. She had always had an overromantic  imagination she thought wryly. Joel was no story-book hero. Far from it.  Women fell for him like ninepins and he made full use of the power he  seemed to have over her sex. Lissa had watched a procession of women  come and go through his life, and if he had ever felt anything more than  sexual desire for any of them, she had never noticed it.

Dinner tonight?'

She dragged her mind back to the present and Simon. Over his anger now,  he was a cajoling, eager boy again, but how long would it be before he  reverted to type  …  before he tried to force her into an intimacy she  didn't want to share. She sighed faintly. She liked her job and she  liked Simon  …  but if he was going to be difficult  …  But how could she  give up her job now, when she might need to prove that financially she  was able to care for the girls, at least on a part-time basis. She knew  there was no possibility of them coming to live with her full time at  least not now. For one thing her flat had only one bedroom but in a few  year's time  …  If, however, she let Joel bludgeon her into giving up her  rights to them now, she would have no chance of re-establishing any  relationship with them in the future. She knew that.





CHAPTER TWO


LISSA STARED at the letter, tapping her nails absently on her kitchen  counter as she studied its contents for the umpteenth time. It had  arrived three days ago; a coolly worded, imperative demand from Joel  that she present herself at Winterly so that they could discuss the  girls' future.

Trust Joel to make sure he had the advantage of being on his home  ground, Lissa thought wryly. The letter had surprised her; taken her  rather aback. After the way they had parted in Simon's office she had  expected only to hear from him via his solicitor, but instead had come  this command, because that was what it was, to go down to Winterly so  that they could talk. She was tempted to refuse, but if she did might  that count against her in an eventual court hearing? Her solicitor  seemed to think so. She pressed the heel of one hand to her aching  temple. Perhaps she ought to take Simon up on his offer and hope that  her status as an engaged woman might persuade the court to settle in her  favour. But Simon wasn't really interested in the girls; all he wanted  was to get her into his bed. She glanced at her watch. Ten o'clock. She  had been up since seven, prowling round her small flat, knowing that she  must go to Winterly but desperately searching for excuses not to do so.