More Than a Convenient Bride(29)

"Since you became friends, how many serious relationships have either of you been in?" Amelia asked her.

Julie frowned. "Well, I haven't been in any, and if Luc was seeing  anyone seriously he never told me. But we're both very focused on our  careers. We don't have time for serious relationships."

"Yet you manage to find time for each other."

She was right. Luc had always made time for her and she him. With the  exception of the past few days, they'd barely gone twenty-four hours  without talking to each other in six years. The day wouldn't feel  complete if she didn't hear his voice at least once. And lately, with  all the fantastic sex they'd been having...

She thought of him touching another woman the way he touched her, or  even just holding another woman's hand, and felt sick inside. Before  now she just hadn't let herself think about it. Now she could think of  nothing else.

"Oh my God," she said, barely able to catch her breath as reality cracked her hard in the chops. "Oh my God."

She must have started turning blue, because Amelia gave her shoulder a nudge and said, "Breathe, Julie."

She sucked in a deep breath. "Oh my God. I'm in love with Luc."

Amelia was smiling. "Funny how it sneaks up on you."

How had this happened? When had it happened? Was she just so used to  suppressing her feelings and guarding her heart that she hadn't  allowed herself to see it?                       
       
           



       

Now that she had, it was almost overwhelming. She felt happy and excited and scared to death. But in a good way.

"I'm in love with Luc," she said again, the words rolling so  naturally off her tongue it was as if they had been there all along,  just waiting to be set free. "I. Am in love. With Luc."

In the midst of all those feelings she had another thought, one that sent the air hissing from her balloon of happiness.

"I know what you're thinking," Amelia said, her words startling Julie.

"What am I thinking?"

"You're afraid that it's too late, that you blew it. You're terrified that he's going to reject you."

She'd deny it if she could, but that would be a lie. And hadn't she  been lying to herself for long enough? Wasn't it about time that she  be honest not just to Luc, but to herself? She'd taken a lot of  chances in her life, lived on the edge, but why was she so afraid to  take a chance on Luc? And at this point, what did she have to lose?

"I think I need to talk to him," she told Amelia.

"I think you do, too."

Her hands began to shake and her heart went berserk in her chest. "What if it's too late?"

"Then, you can at least say that you tried."

Luc had the courage to put himself out there. To take a chance on  her. And for his trouble, all he'd gotten was shot down. Now she needed  to do the same for him.

"I have to go," she said. "I have to talk to him."

"Yes you do."

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"As soon as Tommy is discharged. Probably around noon."

"I'll be back to say goodbye." They both stood and Julie hugged her hard. "Thank you so much."

"For what?"

"Making me see what an idiot I am."

"Well, we all act like idiots at one point or another."

If that was the case, Julie was queen of the idiots. She gave Amelia  another squeeze, then set off to find Luc, hoping she wasn't too late.

* * *

"Are you going to mope around all day?"

Luc looked up from his computer screen, which he hadn't bothered to  turn on yet, to find his mother in the doorway of his home office.  "I'm not moping. I'm reflecting."

"She'll come around."

He hadn't said a word to his mother about the Julie situation, so  either Julie had told her or she'd figured it out on her own.

He'd honestly believed that giving Julie an ultimatum, threatening  their friendship, would make her see reason. Five days later he was  still waiting.

Talk about a major fail.

Now he'd painted himself into a corner and he wasn't sure how to get  back out. If this time apart had proved anything, it was how much he  needed her in his life. Even if all she could be to him was a friend.  He'd screwed up big-time and now he had to figure out a way to make it  right. If that was even a viable option at this point. He had failed  Julie in the worst possible way. She needed to know that he was there  for her no matter what; instead he'd given up on her. He couldn't  imagine a worse betrayal.

"I don't suppose you've seen Houdini."

Luc gestured behind him, to the window valance, where the kitten sat a  good eight feet off the ground, happy as could be. Despite being  blind, or maybe because of it, he was fearless. In the past few days  he'd taken full run of the house, where there were virtually millions  of places to disappear. But on the bright side, he was starting to  learn his name, and would sometimes come when called. If all else  failed, opening a can of cat food usually did the trick.

"Is there anything I can do?" his mother asked, and Luc shook his head. "I just hate to see you both so unhappy."

He swiveled his chair around and looked out the window. It was nearly  April and the spring flowers were in full bloom. Yet he'd never felt  more depressed and gloomy. "She made her choice."

She sighed. "You're making this so much more complicated than it has to be."                       
       
           



       

That was easy for her to say.

"She's right, you know."

At the sound of Julie's voice, he swiveled back around. She stood in the doorway behind his mother.

"Would you look at the time," his mother said, wheeling herself out the door. "I'm late for my physical therapy."

"Can we talk?" Julie asked him. She looked almost as bad as he felt.  Her voice quivered and he could see that her hands were trembling.  What now? Was she going to ask him for a divorce? Put an end to this  charade before they caused any more damage?

"I guess that depends what you have to say."

"You can't even imagine how hard this is for me. Letting my guard  down. Admitting how wrong I was. I screwed up. I was too scared to  admit how I was really feeling. I couldn't even admit it to myself."

"And how are you really feeling?"

"I love you. I'm in love with you. This week apart has been awful."

He didn't want to appear too eager. After all, he did still have his  pride to consider. But he was having a whole lot of trouble keeping  his butt in the chair. He needed her in his arms. Needed to smell her  hair and taste her lips. He just plain needed her.

Her voice shook when she said, "I know it's a lot to ask, and I  probably don't deserve it, but if you could give me just one more  chance."

"You're right, it is a lot to ask," he said. And if he didn't love  her so much, he may have told her to take a hike. Luckily for them both,  he just couldn't seem to live without her. "How do I know that you  won't freak out and change your mind?"

"You don't know. And I have no clue how to convince you, if that's even possible. But I had to try."

He rose from his chair and though Julie looked terrified, she stood  her ground. He walked over to her, until they were nearly toe to toe,  and said, "We could start with a hug, and go from there."

He could see the instant she finally let go. The defenses dropped and  she threw her arms around him, a quivering bundle. "I'm so sorry,"  she said.

He held her tight. This was right where she belonged. With him,  forever. He wouldn't be letting her go again. "I'm the one who's sorry.  My pride was bruised. I never should have given up on you."

She sighed, laying her cheek against his shirt. "You had to. It was the kick in the pants that I needed."

He cradled her face in his hands. There were tears in her eyes, but they were happy. "I love you, Julie."

"I love you, too," she said, "So much. I can't believe I almost blew it."

He grinned down at her, so relieved and happy it almost didn't seem real. "You didn't. I wouldn't have given up so easily."

"Amelia told me that everyone considers you and I the blueprint for the perfect marriage. The fairy tale come true."

"I guess they were right," he said.

"But we still have one thing left to do," she told him. "To make it official."

"What's that?"

She smiled and kissed him, with so much love in her eyes it almost hurt. "Live happily ever after."