Love's Suicide(131)

“Brooks?”

“Yeah?”

I sniffled and tried to think of what to say to him, because thank you was never going to be enough. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do. Go take a hot bath. Close your eyes and think about B’s smile. Think about how happy she is when you walk into the room. Think of things that make you happy. Just try to relax.”

“I’ll think about you, Brooks.”

He laughed and I knew he was smiling. “Without clothes. That always seems to change my mood.”

I snickered through another wave of tears. “I’ll try that.”

“That’s my girl. I’ll see you in a bit.”

I held the phone up to my chest and was able to finally calm down. It was obvious that I was fighting a losing battle with my heart. I was going to have to stop disputing it, because more than ever, I needed Brooks. I just had to figure out how to get past the demons in my head that was torturing the part of me that needed closure.

That was a battle that I wasn’t sure how to overcome.





Chapter 56

Since I’d decided to do everything over the phone and not leave my house, I was determined to get things as cleaned up as I could.

Bobby’s family and friends were going to handle everything at the church being that I was no longer a welcome part of the congregation. I’d like to think that it didn’t hurt me, but it would have been a lie. Not only was I hurting, but I was sad for my daughter, whether she even remembered all of them or not. I hated that people were only judged from the outside. Though I may not have been the best to Bobby, I did try to make him happy. When the abuse began, I did everything for him.

I had to keep reminding myself that Bobby’s alcohol addiction wasn’t directly due to Brooks. For a while there he’d even thought Brooks was dead. I don’t know how much more someone could be out of the picture than that.

Danica was a blessing to have around, always keeping B occupied in and outside, while I hobbled around, trying to put my house back in order. She’d done most of the scrubbing and picking up the little pieces, so I wouldn’t have to.

I didn’t even realize how late it was until I heard a vehicle coming down the driveway. It was too difficult to make my way over to the window, so I sat there in my chair waiting for him to come inside.

I knew it was Brooks, because he never let me down. I just didn’t know he’d been coming with gifts.

He walked through the door with both hands full of bags. “Hey. Now, before you freak out I just want to say that I did my best picking out something you’d like. If it’s no good, we’ll take it all back and pick out something else.”

He sat the bags down on the coffee table and leaned over to kiss me. “You didn’t have to buy me anything.”

He started walking back outside, but turned around to answer. “If I’m going to be living here, then I need to pitch in.” He winked before walking outside and I was left sitting there, speechless.

I started pulling things out of the bags, realizing that he’d gone to a store and bought things to replace what had been damaged. The first thing I noticed was how close to the originals he’d gotten. Danica must have been sending him pictures all day long and never telling me.

I started opening the packages that contained new curtains, when he came walking back in with more bags. “I can’t believe you did all this. Did you take off early?”

“No. I ordered it all on the computer and it was ready when I got off. Mom suggested it.”

I laughed, thinking about Danica and her love for shopping. “This is pretty amazing. I can’t believe you did this.”

Brooks sat the next couple of bags down next to me. He ran the back of his hand over my cheek. “I’d do anything to see you smile, Kat. Put your feet up and start opening packages. I’ve got to go back outside and help my buddies with something.”

“Your buddies?”

I had no idea what he was talking about. B and Danica were outside. I could hear them playing near the swing set.

Then I saw the door swing open and two men in fatigues holding one end of a mattress. They nodded when they saw me sitting down and I smiled politely.

In came Brooks with one other guy helping him. The moment I saw him my heart rate increased. The butterflies in my stomach were getting stronger as he made his way with the mattress to our bedroom. I was in awe over him, and the things that he did for me and for us.

In a matter of minutes, they were then carrying the large full-sized throw rug out of the house and bringing in another still wrapped in plastic. I sat there, listening to them talking while moving things around. I knew what they were doing, but I couldn’t believe it. It was just outrageous.