Love's Suicide(128)

“Let’s see. Can it be about anything?”

I nodded again and played with his fingers that were laced with my own.

“Before I left for boot camp, I asked Branch if he planned on marrying you someday. I don’t know why I did it. I guess maybe I just needed that push to tell me that I was doing the right thing by leaving. At any rate, he told me that as long as I wanted you, he’d have you. Do you believe that cock sucker said that?”

I laughed. “Yeah. I do.”

“Anyway, that’s not the best part of the story. While he thought he’d damaged my ego, I laughed, thinking about the two times that I’d been with you and nobody knew about. Then I said the first thing that popped into my head. I asked him if he was alright with knowing that when you were with him, if it bothered him that you pretended it was me.” He started laughing. “You don’t have to tell me if you ever did that, but it made me feel better saying it to him.”

“I’m sure it pissed him off.”

“Yeah. It didn’t matter. I left and he got to be with you. He got to live with you and spend countless hours in your presence, while I was so far away from everyone.”

I felt so sorry for Brooks, especially knowing that I’d never been truly happy with Branch. I knew that now. “How did you get through it?”

“I thought of you. I drew pictures of you and wrote you letters that I never sent. I hooked up with a few cadets, but they weren’t anything spectacular. To be honest, I stayed busy most of the time. It wasn’t until I was in bed thinking of you that it got hard.”

I looked right into his eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat. Sure, I heard the part where he’d hooked up with other woman. He had every right to, because I was involved with his brother.

“It broke my heart when you left. I felt like I was being punished.”

“My brother fooled us both. Don’t let it get to you. We’re together now, Kat.”

“Please be patient with me, Brooks. I know I said I couldn’t move forward, but I also can’t lose you. I just feel like I ended his life. I feel responsible and I’ve got to work that out on my own. You understand don’t you?”

“You hurt me earlier. I keep letting myself fall harder for you each time. The thing is, when I do that and you push me away, it hurts worse.” He shook his head. “All I can tell you is that no matter how many times I’ve tried to not love you, it’s never happened. So you can push me away. You can tell me you don’t want to be with me, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stalk you if I have to.”

I giggled. “I told you where I hide the house key. You’ve been invited in.”

“Good because I was planning on having a copy made in the morning.”

“Promise?”

He looked right at me and smiled. “Yes, I promise.”

It was the reassurance that I needed. Things certainly weren’t worked out for either of us, but at least we knew that neither of us was giving up.

I closed my eyes, feeling comfortable against his body. Falling asleep was easy, even after he started to snore.

His alarm on his phone woke us both up and I realized that we’d slept the entire time. Brooks slid off the couch and covered me back up with a blanket. He kissed my forehead. “I need to go to work.”

I grabbed his hand as he started to walk away. “Will you be back later?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got a hard day ahead of you. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

I nodded.

He let out an air-filled laugh and scratched his head. “Woman, you’re so confusing.”

“Please?”

He leaned over and kissed me again. “I’ll see you later. I love you. Give B a kiss and tell her I’ll be here after work.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. No matter what happens, you’re always there to protect me. Sometimes I think my parents made you that way, like they somehow connected us so I’d never be alone.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I loved you way before they died and I promise that they didn’t put any spells on me. It happened because I wanted it to. There’s no other reason that I want to be there for you. No one makes me do it. I do it because it makes me happy. It makes me feel close to you, even when you’re not paying attention.”

He winked at me before walking out of the room.

I watched him go out the door before I closed my eyes again. Brooks hadn’t left me like I’d thought. He’d come back just in case I needed him, in which I did. I would always need him and knowing that made me more determined to get through whatever was happening with me.