Love My Pain (Cape Falls Book 6)(11)

“What did you want to do to me?”

She pressed her thighs together as a flood of warmth swamped her. She was a twenty-five-year-old virgin, and it was pitiful. Would he be her first? Of course he would. It was going to be Edward or no one. There was no way she was going to be with anyone else. No one else called to her the way he did.

He leaned so close that she felt his breath against her face. “I wanted to bend you over the table, lift up that skirt, pull your panties down, and slide my dick so deep inside your cunt that you couldn’t walk properly for days.”

Heat filled her cheeks, and she thrust forward on her chair, creating some friction with her jeans against her clit. “I would have liked that.”

Edward chuckled. “I think you would have shouted and screamed at me, babe. Now, I don’t think you would be all that shocked.”

“I’m not. It’s what I want.” She stared at him, wondering if he would forgo dinner. “Do you want to go home?” She was too impatient to wait for him to take the next step.

Edward reached out, taking hold of her hand. “No. We’re not going home. We’re going to stay here, and we’re going to get to know one another, and then, we’re going to take our time. There’s no rushing this.”

“You don’t need to go slow for me.”

“I want to go slow, and I want to go slow for me.” He held both of her hands with her palms up, covering them with his own hands. If he pushed up the sleeves of her shirt, the scars of her past would be easy to see. “I need you to heal.”

“I don’t…”

“In time some of these scars will fade, but what I need from you is that when you feel like you want to cut, you come to me,” he said.

She frowned. They hadn’t really talked about this. Apart from him getting angry, and then after a few tense moments, everything seemed to fade into the background. This was the first time anyone had talked to her like this.

Licking her lips, she felt her heart pounding. No one else had known what she had done. It wasn’t something that she advertised.

“Do you have something that you use? A special kit?” he asked.

She nodded her head as tears filled her eyes. For the first time in her life, she felt on the spot, the full focus of attention.

“I’m going to want that kit.”

Her hands were shaking and she tried to take them back, but Edward kept hold of her arms, keeping her in place. In a weird kind of way, she felt grounded, like someone was holding her completely.

“Why?”

“There is going to have to be a level of trust built up. You want to be my submissive, then there are certain demands that I have. The first one is that you don’t harm yourself, and that whenever you feel the need, you come to me.”

She had never relied on anyone.

There was no one in her world that could help her.

“I’m alone.”

“No! You’re not alone. Isabel, look at me, baby.”

She found herself staring into his green eyes, being utterly captivated by him.

“You’re never alone. I promise.”

“Will you start removing other objects now from the house? The knives in the kitchen?” she asked.

He shook his head. “This is about trust. If you cannot trust me with this, then I cannot trust you as my submissive. It’s as simple as that.”

She took several deep breaths. Be his or keep the cutting.

“There’s no way for me to change your mind?”

“I’m not asking for a lot, sweetie.”

You are!

“If I give you what you want, then what do I get?” she asked.

“You get me. Completely. We will go to Control together. I will explore everything with you.” The hold on her hands had lightened, and when she glanced down, she saw him stroking her wrist.

It was nice. More than nice. He stroked the tips of his fingers down hers and then grasped her. “I need you to realize that I’m the person you can rely on, Isabel. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here in Cape Falls to stay.”

“What if I need you and you’re not there?”

“I’ll be a phone call away, and as my submissive you will follow instruction. I’ve never taken you to my dungeon other than to strap you up the other day. Once we have finished our lunch, I will give you a proper experience within my playroom. No games, pleasure will certainly come, as will pain. Do you like pain?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

She knew she didn’t mind pain as the feel of the knife sinking into her flesh was a welcome relief. There was always that point where it hurt too much, and she stopped. This had never been a problem before. The cutting gave her a relief that had never given her time to really analyze what she liked about it. It was the control, the feeling of being able to do something no one else could. Being punished by Edward would be different? Could she handle that kind of pain?