Don't Follow Me: A High School Bully Romance (Diamond In The Rough Book 4)(5)

Why did it take me bringing up staying on campus to piss him off enough to talk about it?

At this point, I was inclined to stay on campus. The last thing I wanted to deal with was constantly fighting with Clint when I wasn’t in class. But I sure as hell didn’t want to room with a stranger. I don’t know. It was all so confusing. Everything seemed so clear-cut at prom. So good. So… perfect.

How did things get so bad this quickly?

I wondered about Mom. How she had really taken this to heart. I’d tried to find the closest school to home, but I knew it still took me farther away than she wished. I mean--I don’t know. It wasn’t as if I felt like I could really leave her anyway. And I knew why she wanted me to stay. Well, kind of.

Fuck, why is everything so damn difficult?

“Rae?”

“Rae, you there?”

“Gorgeous? Can you hear us?”

I slowly panned my gaze back to my friends. “Huh?”

Michael snickered. “You going to suck the life out of that milkshake?”

I looked down and saw I had drained it. And not only had I drained it, but my empty suction had pulled in the sides of my plastic cup. And holy fuck, my head hurt. I grimaced as I set it back down on the table. Michael chuckled as Allison reached out for my hand. Clint wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close, kissing my temple and trying to warm the skin around my face that had chilled so suddenly.

Holy fuck, I didn't think that brain freeze would ever end.

“You okay?”

Clint’s murmur almost brought tears to my eyes. Because, no. I wasn’t okay. I hadn’t been okay for months. I hadn’t been okay since he’d announced that he wasn’t applying to college. I hadn’t been okay since he told me he wasn’t sure where he wanted to live after graduation. I hadn’t been okay since he told me he was struggling to get a job and somehow didn’t have the money to move with me. Like, where the fuck had all his money gone? He had way more than me to sell off. Why the hell didn’t he have any money?

Probably for the same reason you don’t have much, either.

I sighed as the brain freeze finally released me. I leaned against Clint, closing my eyes and soaking him in. Sometimes his embrace felt empty. But it didn’t right now. I soaked it up and committed it to memory for all those times his embrace and his arms and his kisses did feel empty. I mean, relationships went through down points, right? This wouldn't last forever, right?

This wouldn't do us in.

Right?

“You okay, gorgeous?”

I sighed as Clint kissed the top of my head.

“I mean, I’d be better if I knew how we were getting into these parties.”

Michael clapped his hands. “That’s the spirit!”

Allison groaned. “You three are relentless.”

I snickered. “Oh, come on. You know you enjoy parties, too. Remember the one after graduation?”

She laughed. “The one where you got so drunk that we had to haul you home in the back seat with a bag in front of your face?”

I pointed my finger at her. “Hey, now. Mixing liquors isn’t a good thing. I wasn’t drunk.”

Clint paused. “She’s actually got a point there. Mixing liquors like that is the devil.”

Michael threw his head back. “THE DEVIL!”

And when they burst out laughing again, I rolled my eyes.

“You guys have too many inside jokes,” Allison said.

Michael smiled. “Now you know how Clint and I feel whenever we’re around you two.”

My jaw dropped open. “Hey. Hey, now. We don’t have nearly that many inside jokes.”

Clint nodded. “She’s right, you know. We have more because we’re more awesome.”

The guys high-fived as Allison giggled.

“Oh, and don’t you guys worry about those parties,” Clint said with pride in his voice. “With someone as devilishly handsome as me in your posse, you’re bound to get in.”





4





Clinton





After indulging in an ice cream cone that dripped down the length of my arm, I washed up. Giving Rae some space, and giving me the ability to splash some water in my face. Maybe it was the heat. Or the pressure of looming decisions, but she’d been a lot snappier lately. And it wasn’t just at me. Mike asked me more than once if she was all right. And sometimes, I saw Ally’s face contort in pain whenever something flew out of Rae’s mouth directed right at her. I knew something deeper was going on with my girl. I knew something was bothering Rae.

I just didn't know what.

Or how to begin to fix it.

I made my way back out to the booth and slid in beside Rae. I got the feeling she didn’t want to be held, so I simply sat there, watching her as she watched the ocean. In any other world, this should’ve felt like a utopia. A perfect world, where nothing else mattered except the two of us.

But it didn’t feel like that at all.

And what was worse was that these times were quickly coming to a close. In a few weeks, we’d all be tossed to the corners of California’s map. Without any way to get back and see one another easily. Mike and Ally were on their way to Stanford, of all places. Which didn’t shock me one fucking bit. They were both smart. More intelligent than I could’ve ever been. I mean, all I was doing was working on some sort of stupid book. An idea that flourished in my head just before we all graduated.

The shit thing was, I didn't even feel comfortable telling Rae about it.

Mike knew about it. But that was it. I didn’t want to tell Ally, because I knew she’d mention it to Rae. Which would then kick up yet another fight about why I didn’t tell Rae first. And how the hell was I supposed to phrase that answer? Hey, I didn’t tell you about something happy going on with me because you’ve been miserable and I don’t know why?

Yeah. That’d get me a speeding ticket as I zoomed through Relationship City and crash-landed in Single Town.

“You guys want to take a walk along the pier?”

Mike’s voice pulled us both from our trances and I nodded.

“Sure,” I said.

But Rae had a different answer.

“Nah, you guys go ahead. I’m going to sit here a little while longer.”

I furrowed my brow. “You don’t want to go?”

She shrugged. “My legs hurt from rollerblading. I just want to rest.”

“I’ll carry you, if you’d like.”

“Clint, it’s fine.”

“Piggy-back style?”

“Clint, I said I don’t want to go.”

“Bridal style? I know you like that one.”

“Clint.”

I sighed. “Rae, please. Come take a walk on the pier with me. Let’s watch the sunset together.”

After a long pause, she finally nodded her head. I helped her out of the booth before she jumped onto my back, and away we went. I carried her effortlessly as Ally and Mike walked in front of us. Hand in hand, unable to get enough of each other. Their arms bumped together and they kept whispering to each other. Giggling. Laughing and playing around. I missed things like that with me and Rae. I missed having those moments with her.

All I got from her nowadays were heavy sighs and rolls of her eyes.

We all walked to the pier and I set Rae down. She rollerbladed softly at my side as I kept up with my long strides. With our hands cupped, but no fingers threaded together, I felt us drifting apart. The more we walked, the further away our bodies became. Until her hand fell away from mine.

And she skated up further by herself.

Mike and Ally kept peeking back at me. Shooting me glances and looks I wanted to slap right off their fucking faces. It made me angry, seeing those glances. And I hadn’t experienced that kind of anger in months. Not since the turn of the year, when things really settled down with Cecilia and myself.

Despite the bullshit Dad kept throwing our way.

We all got to the end of the pier and I gazed out over the water. I didn’t bother going after Rae. If she wanted to come stand beside me, she would. I kept stealing glances over at Mike. Over at Ally. At the way they intertwined with one another. At the way Ally let Mike hold her close. I ached to have that with Rae again. I couldn't even remember the last time we’d made love.

“Hey there.”

Rae’s voice ripped me from my trance. She slipped her arm around mine and relief flooded my veins. As the sun slowly set, we stood there. Leaning against the pier. Taking in the sun’s murky reflection in the ocean water.

Then, Ally spoke. “Things will never be the same again.”

My stomach dropped as Rae sighed.

“You’re right. It won’t.”

Mike piped up. “That doesn’t mean we can’t get together, though. This isn’t an end.”

Rae snickered. “Yeah. Just a massive change that never goes according to plan.”

I slowly looked over at her. “What was your plan?”

She shrugged. “Does it matter now?”

I furrowed my brow. “It’s always mattered to me, Rae.”

Her eyes turned up toward mine and I saw tears in them. Pain. My girl was hurting, and it killed me inside. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close to me. And as her cheek fell against my chest, she sniffled. The sound was enough to cripple me. I felt like my body had been broken all over again. I kissed the top of her head, over and over. Trying to physically kiss the pain out of her body.