Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1)(33)

“Take her, Jaeden. She’d give up anything for him, do anything, tell us anything,” Sven pointed out with a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

Lachlan shook his head. “She’s done nothing but distance herself from the entire shelter in the last week. She eats with us, and tries tae avoid conversation. She goes oot on runs, but she does it alone. She makes lists and stockpiles supplies. It’s almost like she’s on auto mode, and unable tae shut it off.” He catalogued her daily movements thoughtfully and I hated that he knew every aspect of her daily routine.

“Maybe she doesn’t care for your company?” I offered.



“She deals with me just fine, Jaeden, and several times a day. She’s breaking away from her group, as if she’s protecting them from herself. Ye changed her, even if ye didnae turn her. She’s not the same as she was when I first got tae town.” His eyes bored accusingly into mine.

“I’ll go to her,” I whispered as I moved through them and headed to where I knew she would be. The change may not have occurred, but I could feel her presence inside of me as if it had. I could feel her in me, as if I’d sired her; the bond was minimal and limited, but there. She’d gone back to the cliff, where this had all begun.

I watched her from the trees as she kicked the ground where she’d gone over, and then teetered on the edge. My heart pounded faster as she held one foot over the edge as if she was considering jumping. She moved back and swiped angrily at her tears.

I could feel her walls closing down as her mind tried to grasp what she’d done. I stepped out from behind the trees and headed to her. I could tell that she felt me as I moved closer, and I felt the bond as it reached for her, but she was stronger than most. She was resisting it. She somehow managed to hold it at bay, but barely.

“Emma, come away from the cliff,” I whispered and flinched as she leveled me with a nasty glare.

“Go to hell, and take your fucked up shit with you!”

“I deserve that,” I replied.

“You’re damn right you do! You held me up as if I was yours to give away! I came to you for help and you threw me to the wolves!” she blinked as if her choice of words were sour.

“What do you think is happening between us, Emma? Did I make any promises to you?” I snapped, and watched as her eyes narrowed and leveled me with a cold look. “You asked me once if Lachlan and I were friends; we aren’t. He used something of mine that I cared for; he was just one of a long line of betrayals that stemmed from the same poor decision. I made a vow to never allow myself to be in the same situation for it to happen again.”

“Something?” she spat out. “I’m not a fucking something! I’m a friggin’ human being! How dare you treat me like that just because you have some fucked up shit going on in your head. News flash, Jaeden! I’m not yours to give away! I’m not fucking anyone! Not now, not tomorrow, and not ever! That also includes you!”

“You’ve not fucked anyone?” I asked carefully.

“It doesn’t matter! There’s so much more happening right now! You need to get your friggin’ priorities straight. I killed a wolf who was a man! In what friggin’ world is that right? I’m going crazy!” she swiped angrily at tears. “I’m afraid to be around my friends and my brother because I’m seeing shit! I have dreams that scare the shit out of me, as if I’m actually in them. I don’t know what you did to me, but you should have let me die!”

My heart clenched at her words. I watched her face carefully and took a shot at the truth. She deserved this; the only question was how she would react to it. “Werewolves,” I said simply and watched as her eyes flew to mine.

“Okay, no wonder why I liked you so much, you’re crazy too!” She sniffed as she wiped at the tears again. “You’re so full of shit, Jaeden. But thanks for playing along with my crazy mindfuck of a day.”

I laughed, but was empty. I flashed my fangs and, startled, she stepped back towards the cliff. I reached out and pulled her to me. She fought against my hold, and it took everything I had to pin her. This small woman was now a match for me or any of my men. She went still suddenly, as something else caught her attention. She looked at me, then to where Lachlan stood in wolf form. His green eyes gave him away.

“Holy shit,” she said. “I went to sleep and woke up in Twilight!” she laughed, and continued. “Oh! I get to be Bella!” she giggled more. “Oh, wait, Twilight was like, PG, can we kick it up to an adult version and so help me God, Jaeden if you sparkle, I want to see that penis pulling off a disco ball in the sunlight!”



Yeah, it was very possible she’d been damaged in the fall. I shook my head at her strange hysteria, and I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. I think she was making fun of me, which stung. I finally spelled it out for her and I’m not sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t this.

The wolf nodded and left her to me. Everything in his bearing told me that it was only for now. Her shoulders shook, and I felt her pain. The confusion of everything I’d just thrown at her. The shock at everything she had experienced tonight. Her soul pulled at mine, shredding my resolve and my legs moved towards her against my will. I walked up and stood beside her, slipping my hand through hers, threading my long fingers through her delicate ones.

“Lachlan, and his men,” she started hesitantly. “I didn’t kill any of his men tonight, did I?” she asked and then her shoulders released the tension they’d held in them.

“No; his people and my people are fighting against those packs. It is a long story, but know that we will protect you and your people, Emma.”

“Did you ever find the wolves that killed Bonnie and Jillian?” she asked with a guarded look in her eyes.

“We found the squad that killed them about two weeks after their deaths. I put them down, personally. They hurt you, maybe not physically, but like most things rabid, they needed to be put down.”

“This can’t be real, right? I’m dreaming,” she whispered brokenly.

I pulled her to me, and tilted her chin. “Does this feel like a dream?” I asked, before lowering my hungry lips to hers. She was silk to my leather, innocence to my brutality. My tongue pushed past her teeth, and the noise she made started a maelstrom in my balls, and tightness coiled in my stomach. I groaned as I deepened the kiss, while her arms wrapped around my waist.

I wanted nothing more than to lay her on the ground and ravish her body. I picked her up and approved of how her legs wrapped around my waist. Her hands gripped my hair, as if she was afraid I would remove my mouth from hers. Not a fucking chance. I kissed her harder, my nostrils flaring with the scent of her sweet nectar as it dampened her pussy.

I pulled away, my eyes searched hers for the one answer I needed. She didn’t give it. She unwrapped her legs and pulled away instead. “You can’t be real, because that would mean you really did feed me your blood to save my life. That I wasn’t hallucinating…”

“I did, and would do it again in a heartbeat, Emma,” I whispered through fangs that slid further from my gums with anticipation. Her eyes focused on my mouth, and I watched as her small hand lifted to my mouth and stopped.

“Can I see them?” she questioned, and I nodded. “Do they hurt?”

“Only when I deny them the sweet taste of you,” I replied with a crooked smile breaking across my lips.

“Do you want to taste me?”

“Yes,” I replied with my heart racing at the mere idea of tasting her sweet, intoxicating blood again.

“How does it work?” she asked with a shyness that I hadn’t seen with her before.

“I’d kiss your flesh, and caress it with my tongue. My saliva would release a numbing agent, to prevent you from feeling pain from my bite. I would pierce your skin, and I’d feed from your blood.”

“Does sex and feeding really go together?”

“Yes,” I replied hoarsely, as I wondered where she’s taking me with her questions.

“So if I allowed you to feed from me, I’d have to allow you more?”



“No, but I’d want more. I’d want you at my mercy.”

“What does that even mean?” she asked innocently.

“I’d want to control you. I’d want to dominate you, to have your full submission in the bedroom, Emma. For a woman to submit to a man in the bedroom is one of the ultimate gifts she can ever give him. To give her body and mind to him, and trust him enough to satisfy her needs.”

“It sounds kinky,” she whispered with wide eyes. “Way more than I think I could commit to,” was her sultry reply as I clasped her chin between my finger and thumb.

She gasped, and I smiled at the sweet sound of it. “You’ve already had a taste of what I can offer you. The spanking, when your pussy filled with the proof of what it made you feel? You were soaked for more abuse, and then when you came in my mouth…That Emma, is what I need from you. I could teach you everything, if you’d just let me.”

She nodded as though she was considering it. “Maybe one day,” she swallowed. My insides clenched at her soft words. I’m not a nice guy, not since the day Astrid betrayed me, and then fed me to the wolves, literally. I had made a vow to never let myself get that involved with a woman again. Not even Emma with her supple curves, and her wide eyed stares.