Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1)(29)

“Yer nae really expecting Jaeden tae follow through with ye, are ye, lass? He’s nae that kind of man; he fucks his prey and then leaves them heartbroken. He will only break ye, and leave ye when he’s had his fill.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s none of your damn business,” I whispered.

His arms pinned me against the wall, as he lowered his mouth to mine. I could have struggled, and should’ve. I didn’t though, because I wanted to see if I responded to him as I did with Jaeden. Lachlan’s mouth was soft, as he moved over my lips seeking entrance. I opened my mouth and kissed him back. While there was a steady thrumming sensation in my core; it was nothing like I felt with Jaeden.

It wasn’t until he picked me up and growled against my mouth, that I stopped him. “No, put me down, now!” I panicked a little and tried to push him away.

Instead of putting me down, he rubbed his cock over my slick heat and smiled. “I could make ye mine, bonny Emma, so fucking easily. One thrust and ye would be mine,” his voice came out as a rough snarl that scared me.

“I said no, Lachlan. I don’t want this to be my first time,” I whispered as I listened to his heart as its beat increased with my words.

“Yer a bloody maiden,” he smiled as his eyes searched my face.

“I’m a virgin, yes,” I replied as his mouth crushed forcefully against mine but I didn’t kiss him back this time. I turned my head away from him with the stark realization that I wanted my first time to be with Jaeden. Even if he left me afterwards, I wanted him.

“Ye want the leech?”

“Why do you call him a leech?” I asked as I fixed the towel and slipped my slippers back on. He barked a short laugh.



“If ye havenae figured it oot yet, ye should ask him, but when he breaks yer heart, Emma, and he will, I’ll still want ye.”

I blinked. Would he break my heart? What if I just wanted meaningless sex with him? “What if I break his heart?” I asked with a devious smile on my lips.

“Then I’ll want ye even more, sweetheart.” He grinned wickedly.

I dressed and left the shelter to visit the scene of the crime. Memories were coming back at a slow trickle. Some of it I figured was delirium, because well, it just had to be. I could think of no other reason for me to have those images in my mind, except that I knew what pain medicine could do to the human mind. It played tricks, and made you hallucinate. The only other logical explanation was they were both screwing with my head and that was too awful to think of.

I stood on the cliff with a new outlook. One, I was changing and I wasn’t sure it was a good thing. Two, I was becoming hard and cynical and I hated that I was. Three, life wasn’t a certain thing. I could die at any moment and if I did, I’d go with so many regrets. I didn’t want to die before I experienced Jaeden, or found pleasure in his touch. I wanted to leave my mark in this new world, and I could sense something coming.

It was as if there was a storm brewing, and we were standing on the edge of it. I could taste the tension, thick in the air, and I could sense that a lot more people would die. Innocent people would die. I closed my eyes as the wind blew my hair, and when I turned around, I knew I’d find him standing there.

He was dressed in a white V neck shirt. His jeans were slung low over his narrow hips. He’d pulled his hair back, but loose strands had worked their way out of the thin leather band. He wore a necklace, dangling from it was small silver disc medallion with a raven carved into it.

He said nothing, just watched me as I took him in. I stepped closer to him and was about to tell him what I’d just figured out, but his eyes grew hard. “You’ve fucked that dog?” his words were harsh, but the anger I felt in him was harsher. “I leave you alone for one fucking night after saving your life, and you fuck him?”

“I didn’t fuck anyone,” I snapped irritably.

“No? Then tell me why the fuck you smell like wet dog?”

Wet dog? I rolled my eyes and laughed. One, because I hadn’t been anywhere near a damn dog, and two, he was jealous. “I haven’t been around any dogs for a long time; besides, I took a shower just a little while ago.” I looked off in the distance, still trying to get a handle on the way my senses were over compensating. “Speaking of which, Lachlan kissed me and I kissed him back,” I replied honestly.

“Why?” he demanded crisply.

“Because I wanted to see if he made me feel what I do when I kiss you,” I said quietly as his eyes narrowed.

“And does he?”

“No, his kiss was nice, but it doesn’t make me…” What? Wet? Swoon? Want to rip his clothes off and check out his wood? I could still see myself becoming a woodpecker and pecking Jaeden.

“Wet?” he asked as he stepped closer. “My kiss makes your sweet, succulent petals wet.”

“Yes,” I shook my head as I turned back towards the cliff. “He said you would break me, and then break my heart. Was he right?”

I didn’t flinch as his arms wrapped around me from behind or when he pulled my body back and close to his. “Come with me somewhere?”

“Where?” I asked as I felt his hands as they rose to palm my breasts.



“To a little place I found,” he whispered against my ear.

“I should get back to the shelter. I didn’t tell anyone I was going out,” I admitted.

“Good; come with me and I’ll take you home when we are done,” he assured me as his thumbs rubbed seductively over my nipples. “I promise to be on my best behavior,” his voice was sensual and far too difficult to resist.

I turned in his arms and raised myself up on my toes to bring my lips against his. His kiss was slow, and sent goose bumps over my flesh. This felt right, but I wasn’t ready to just give myself to him. Yes, I wanted him to be my first, but I wanted him to prove he wanted me for more than just a been there, done that.

I moaned against his mouth as he broke the kiss and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. He clasped his fingers through mine and held my hand as he walked me through the woods, to a small little crystal blue pond. We Towners called it Haven, because it was a little haven most didn’t know about in our small town.

I gave him my back as he removed some of his clothes, or at least I hoped he still had some of them on. I heard a splash as he dove beneath the water. It wasn’t that deep, so obviously he’d been here enough times to know the depth. Most people didn’t try to dive here; then again, Jaeden wasn’t most people.

He surfaced and shook the water from his long hair and gave me a glimpse of his impressive back. It was all muscle. Thick black tattoos that were Celtic in their design, from the look of it, covered his shoulder blades. My eyes drifted down to the gentle curve of his ass, and I bit my lip as heat burned inside my abdomen. He had quite a few scars, and I absently wondered where he’d gotten them. Had he been hurt in a war? He fought like a warrior, so maybe he’d been active in the military.

He turned, and my mouth went dry as the Sahara Desert as I watched him move toward the water’s edge. His abs looked as if he worked out every freaking day! He had more of a swimmers body, but damn! I was pretty sure they didn’t make men like him anymore, especially since there was a massive shortage of people these days. This man screamed sex from his every pore. Even as unknowledgeable as I was in that department, I wanted him to be my professor and teach me the kink. I was such a freak…

“Join me,” he said and I twisted my lips up into a smile. I’d planned on swimming a little later today, so at least I’d dressed for it.

I met his eyes and caught the silent sparkle of laughter in them as I kicked out of my boots, and started working the buttons on my pants. “Turn around,” I said shyly.

“Don’t think so,” he smirked, and continued to watch me. I rolled my eyes as I pulled off my shirt and jeans and left them folded on the shore. I gave a quick tug to fix the bottoms of the swimsuit. The suit had a pink and black skull-print halter bikini top. Little black bows joined the cups to the halter and the matching bottoms had black ruffles on the butt. “Skulls,” he mused.

“I was going through a phase when the world went to hell,” I explained.

He laughed as I stepped into the water. I met his gaze, and immediately wished I hadn’t. The turquoise blue in his eyes reminded me of the pictures of the Caribbean oceans that I’d always wanted to visit. The depths in them were a cove of treasure I could easily get lost in. I made myself ignore him and focus on how cold the water was.

“This is freezing,” I shivered a bit as I made my way in slowly. Of course I’d known it would be, since it was fed from a natural spring that ran beneath the ground. I screeched as he splashed my back with the icy water. I turned and glared at him. “Why did you bring me here?”

He smiled, but refused to answer. Instead he moved closer to me as his eyes moved over my pale flesh. “Do people always have to have a reason to bring you places?” he asked as he moved closer to where I stood.

“We’re sorta stuck in limbo, and most of the world’s population is dead from what I can tell, and you want to swim? Are you sure you’re not from California? Maybe you’d like to find some waves after this, surf a bit?” I asked as I turned around to look at him better. This was a waste of time. And yet, here I was in the water with him. Worse part was I didn’t want to leave here, or him.