Darkest Before Dawn (A Guardian's Diary Book 1)(37)

“So they want it to be their world,” I whispered. “They tried to eradicate an entire race just to kill you?” He hadn’t said that, but yeah, my brain added it up and came out with its own equation.

“Smart girl,” he said as he moved closer to where I stood. “You would think that was what they had planned, but I don’t think they’d thought it out that far. They didn’t seem to recognize our people as a threat until we came out of the woodworks and started protecting our food source.”

“Your food source? Is that all that the human race is to you?” I seethed at his reference to my kind. “That’s just cold.”

“No. You have many other uses,” he smiled.

“Can you for once get those dirty thoughts out of your head? This is serious!”

“The world is always falling apart. It always has some catastrophe which it’s teetering on. The only way your kind goes on living, is when you are oblivious to it. So do you want to live, or have to worry about what might happen tomorrow?” he asked.

“Honesty is always better than sugar-coated bullshit.”

“Not always. Not if you stop living because all of your time is spent worrying about everything that may or may not happen. I’ve lived a long time, Emma; I was human once too, and most humans, if they really thought about it, would decide that not knowing is better than knowing what’s coming for them.”

“And that might be true, but right now we are dealing with fucking genocide! It may not have started that way, but it’s getting there pretty quick. If what you are saying is true, and sorry, I like to check my facts; we are staring extinction in the freaking face! I’ve been to a lot of houses around here, and no one’s home. Even with those that came into the shelter in the past couple weeks, a lot of the people that we knew were hiding in town and in the cabins in the woods have vanished. And by vanished, I mean there’s blood but no bodies, and those people that were dumped at Addy’s house weren’t those people. I’ve seen those red eyed bastards; I’ve fought them. We’re out of time.”





Chapter 19





I spent the next few days dealing with an emotional Addy, who was now prone to random outbursts, most of which seemed to include me and a vampire, a werewolf, and a bed. She’d been pretty singular in her focus since I’d updated her with everything I knew about Jaeden and Lachlan and everyday took a gigantic effort and exercise in patience to get her off the subject of vampires and werewolves, and back to her duties. I also had her swear not to discuss it outside of my room where others would hear her or discuss the subject with any member of our resident wolf pack. The last thing I needed was the others freaking or doing something stupid like lashing out at Lachlan or his men.

It had been a trying time for both of us and I knew Addy had been missing her parents and she was far more affected by the bodies in her home than she was letting on. Then there was the discovery I made in my dad’s room that left me angry, frustrated, and confused. After finding the disturbing tapes and papers in my mother’s office, I broke into my father’s room this morning and found a concept map on his wall, the entire wall. He had my picture on top of his concept map, and then pictures of my mother, and some of the people she worked with. There were also pictures of my brother, my friends, and many others. All of them laced with red yarn that connected them together like a web of some sort. I’d been sitting in his room for hours just trying to make sense of it.

The question marks doodled with a sharpie above the pictures of some of the people we’d allowed inside the shelter bothered me. I’d listened to the tapes more, only to feel nauseated as they progressed. The truth was ugly, and hard to swallow. What was said in my mother’s own voice rocked my little sheltered world. She’d known about Rh Viridae, and knew it was going to be put into play.

She kept saying I needed to be ready, but ready for what? She spoke of Lycans—the pure bred werewolves—as well as the rogues. She had known other creatures existed, and that Newport would be the most likely gathering point if the two came to an all-out confrontation. She’d explained how it had been chosen as a stronghold because it was a tactical place and easily held if the need arose.

She barely mentioned my brother and hardly anything about my father. She was fixated on me, and that I become what was needed. I sounded more like a science project than a child she’d loved. I hated that it played with my head, and left a bone-deep coldness inside of me that no heat could warm.

I was numb, and my brain kept telling me it wasn’t true, but the tapes were real. I could hear us playing in the room next to her office, and Dad calling her name from the other room during the playback. She’d been planning this for a long time. The word Sentinel kept coming up, as if it was a badge of honor, her badge of honor to be exact. I couldn’t tell if it was some sort of club or cult she secretly belonged to.

My entire life had been a lie. She had admitted to taking Sentinel lovers with the best genetic markings to father her children. According to what my mother said in the recordings, neither Grayson nor I had belonged to her husband. The man we called Dad. He’d been nothing more than a cover for her secondary life. She had mentioned multiple encounters with one Sentinel that she described as exceptionally strong when she became pregnant with me and she had hoped to have him be part of the potential daddy-pool for Grayson; however her group had lost contact with him and another donor had been substituted. I was experiencing an emotional information overload. I’d hidden the tapes beneath the mattress in my father’s room, and left them there.

I was just heading to the media room to follow up on the supply group’s reports for the day when Grayson caught my eye. He would be devastated if he ever found out about the tapes and what they said.

“Emma, you look sad,” Grayson said as he approached me.

“I’m not sad,” I lied. I was devastated, but I was also pissed.

“Oh, I thought you were sad because Addy left us.”

“What?” I asked confused. She hadn’t left; last I’d seen her this morning, she’d been on a full-blown immortality kick. Which I’d told her was crap. Hadn’t she watched the same movies I had? Immortality came with a heavy price. Usually ending with death in some horrifying way. Common sense said it was just a bad idea.



There it was. Addy had more than likely left the safety of the shelter to try and talk one of the vamps into giving her immortality. They’d give her something all right, probably more than she bargained for, and probably take a little sip while they were at it. Freaking great! I mentally pulled up my big girl panties and smiled even though I didn’t feel like it. “Grayson, you know how Addy is. Sometimes she just needs a little space. We stopped by her house a few days ago. It probably reminded her of how she lost them.”

“She has us, and I’m not stupid, Emma; she likes some stupid boy. You girls are seriously weird.”

I blinked at Grayson and wondered when the hell he’d grown up. His hair needed a cut, and his eyes seemed sharper. He was no longer the child I’d been pretending he was. Somewhere between me trying to shelter him and keep him safe, he’d been growing up and I’d been missing it. I felt my heart as it clenched with the simple loss that could never be filled.

“When did you get so wise?” I asked with a sad smile.

“I told you I could help out, Emma. I’m not a child anymore.”

“I’m your sister,” I whispered as my mother’s words played through my mind. “It’s my job to protect you and keep you protected.”

“Smothered isn’t the same thing and you know it; that’s what I loved about Dad, he didn’t smother or shelter me. Besides, he’s dead. It’s my turn to protect you,” he snapped.

“Grayson,” I said as a single tear slid down my cheek. My heart shattered as my eyes filled up. He may have grown up, but he was still young and he certainly wasn’t strong enough for what I was dealing with. I barely could deal with it.

“It’s true, Emma. He left and he’s been gone too long. He wouldn’t leave us like this; he’d come back for us.”

“He left you with me, and he knows I’d give my life to protect you. He left us with training and weapons. Enough to keep us protected, and enough food to feed us for a while, not that it would feed the masses we’d brought in after he left. We don’t know that he’s dead. There were a lot of calls for help, and you know how he is. He wouldn’t leave anyone behind. Not if he could find a way to bring them.”

“Stop lying to me! I’m smart enough to listen to the whispers. He’s dead, Emma; dead and he’s never coming back!” he yelled before he turned and stormed away from me. I swallowed a sob as I watched his retreating back.

“He could still be alive,” Maggie said softly from behind me. I wasn’t sure how much she’d overheard, or why she chose now to speak, but her words seemed as hollow to me as mine must have had sounded to Grayson.

“No, Grayson is right. He would have contacted us. He would have moved mountains to let us know he was alive. He’s out there, dead. I just hope he was given a proper burial. He kept us alive, my father…” I paused as the voice from the recording played in my ear. He wasn’t my dad. The man who’d stood beside me and raised us to survive wasn’t my father. “…My father is dead.”