Dane(54)

     



 

To help pass the weekend, knowing I wouldn't be able to see Eden for two  days and needing something to do with my time, I made an appointment to  get another tattoo. I'd discussed it with the guy who'd done all my ink  since moving home after college. I didn't need to see his sketch before  Saturday, because I knew it'd be flawless. It was an entire side piece  that would take up both days in his chair. I needed Eden to trust me and  take me back before I was covered from head to toe in ink. At this  point, I was desperate to do anything to fill my time away from her.

As of right now, I had scheduled my realtor to show me more options  after work on Friday, the two sessions over the weekend for my new  tattoo, and then another visit with Gabi Monday morning. Yet it still  wasn't enough to keep me from losing my mind.

My texts to Eden had progressed from telling her to marry me and grow  old with me to asking her to have my children. That was the last one I'd  sent her, less than an hour after work on Wednesday. At least that one  earned me a response. An emoji. Not just any emoji, though. A little  yellow confused face. I replied with a little yellow baby and a baby  bottle. She apparently didn't feel the need to continue that  conversation.

"Well … I guess since you're busy, I'll just head to my office."

"Sounds like a plan, Dane," she replied without taking her eyes off her computer screen.

I knew I was probably pushing my luck, but I couldn't help it.  Throughout the rest of the day, I'd called her into my office for every  little thing. By lunch, she'd started to ask me the level of importance  to what I needed her for. By three o'clock, she was telling me to just  email her. And by four, she stopped answering my calls altogether.

When she came in Friday morning, she headed straight to my desk and handed me a notebook and pen.

"From now on, anytime you need something from me, write it down. If it's  a pressing matter that needs my attention immediately, call me. If not,  make yourself a note and ask me all at once when you see me."

"I never ask you for anything that's not a pressing matter." I tried to keep a straight face.

I failed.

And so did she.

"Dane, calling me in here to ask what the weather will be like this  weekend isn't considered urgent. Write it down or look it up yourself."

"Well, it's urgent if I have to make plans," I muttered under my breath.

All she did was shake her head and walk away.

Friday was a repeat of Thursday, although when she started ignoring my  calls before lunch, I had to resort to her method of making notes and  asking her all at once. That took all the fun out of it.

"So I'll see you Monday?" she asked after checking in with me for the last time of the day.

"Yeah, but I'll be late again. So I'll need you to handle any emails  that come in flagged as important. And any calls that can't wait for me  to get in. You shouldn't have any, but in case something comes up with  the San Diego Mom buyback next week, I just want to make sure you're on  the lookout."

"You have a meeting Monday morning?"

"Uh … " I stumbled on my words, not expecting her to question why I'd be  late. I'd gotten so used to her not asking me anything for fear of  crossing the employer-employee relationship, that she caught me off  guard. "I'll be visiting Gabi at the clinic."

Had I not been paying attention, I would've missed the way her shoulders drooped.

"Eden, it's-"

"Stop, Dane." She held up her hand to silence me. "I don't need to know.  You'll be late on Monday, and I have to watch out for flagged emails  and take important calls. That's all I need to know. Have a great  weekend. I'll see you when you get in on Monday." And just like that,  she was gone.

I didn't wait around the office. I finished what I was doing, closed my  computer down, and left. Rather than heading home to sit there alone, I  met up with the realtor at the first house he wanted to show me. I knew  as soon as I parked in the driveway I wasn't interested. But I was in no  rush, so I looked around as if it had potential before moving on to the  next.

Three houses later, I parked behind him in front of a house that caught  my attention immediately. It was on a corner lot with the garage facing  one street and the front door facing the other. The driveway and path  leading to the front, as well as the porch, were pavers brick. The lawn  was thick and green, well taken care of, and so was the rest of the  exterior. For the first time since this house hunting thing started, I  finally felt excitement.         

     



 

The interior was smaller than most of the ones he'd shown me, but still  enough room to raise a family. And as if that wasn't enough, my decision  was solidified as soon as we stepped out into the back yard. It sloped  toward a wide lake, sand taking over halfway down. Wooden planks led a  path from the edge of the grass to a dock that extended out about twenty  feet into the water. It was my very own pier, and I couldn't wait to  watch the sky change colors with the sunset while holding Eden in my  arms.

"I want to put in an offer," I said while staring off across the lake.

"You haven't even seen the rest of the house." He laughed, as if I were joking.

I wasn't. "I don't need to see it. You said the owners are out and looking for a quick closing date?"

"Yes." He checked his notepad and nodded. "That's correct."

"Fantastic. Because so am I. I'm ready to move in now. Tell them I'll pay the asking price in cash."

I turned around and grew lost in the view while he paced the yard with  his phone pressed against his ear. Truth be told, with as under budget  as this house was, I'd hoped a cash purchase would speed the process  along.

I couldn't wait to move in.

Before I knew it, we were in the kitchen signing paperwork, and I was  writing him a check of good faith. He laughed at me and told me I didn't  need to give them that much-half of the asking price-but I wasn't about  to chance this sale falling through.

Leaving the house I'd hoped to soon share with Eden, I took out my phone and sent her a text.

Move in with me.

As expected, she didn't reply.



Sitting next to Gabi on a couch in an office at the facility, I found  myself more nervous than ever before. It'd only been a week since I'd  last seen her, but I knew this visit would be different. This would be  the last one. There were things that needed to be said, and I wouldn't  leave until we'd both gotten everything out on the table.

Dr. Thomas once again started the conversation by talking about how well  Gabi had been doing, and how much stronger she had become in the two  weeks since arriving. He attributed a lot of that to her inner strength,  as well as the support I'd shown her over the years.

What surprised me was when he stood and told us he'd allow us some time  alone to talk about things. "I'll be right outside, Gabriella. If you  feel overwhelmed and need some help, or need me to end the meeting, all  you have to do is tell me. Okay?"

She nodded with a grin, while I watched with confusion as he let himself out.

"I have some things to tell you." Her voice was soft yet oddly confident.

"Before you do that, I need to say something first." I turned in my seat  to face her. "I've been by your side through everything, and I have  done it without an ounce of regret. I loved you, I do love you, and I  will always love you, but it's not the kind of love you deserve. It's  not the kind that will put a smile on your face or light you up from the  inside out. I don't mean to say this to hurt you. Lord knows that's the  last thing I want to do. But I think I tie you to your past. I keep you  there with those dark demons. And you deserve to be freed from those  binds."

She stared at the wall across the room, and I waited patiently for her  to show me her eyes again. Her shoulders rose slowly with each  exaggerated breath, and then she faced me once more. Her eyes were  filled with tears as more fell down her cheeks. My heart broke at the  sight. I was a man who couldn't handle watching a woman cry. And for the  first time, I had no idea how to comfort her. I had no words.

She settled into the chair and smiled. I became even more confused.

"I'm so relieved to hear you say that, Dane. I was so worried about all  this. I love you, I honestly do. But therapy has helped me understand so  much. I've learned a lot and it makes me sad for myself that I hadn't  done that sooner."

"I don't understand, Gabi."

She smiled again and then rested her hand over mine on the cushion  between us. "I have spent the last decade clinging to you as if you were  my lifeline. Waiting for you to save me like I was on life support. I  didn't have anyone else. You were it. Though my feelings for you are as  real as the air I breathe, I have turned that air into pollution with my  dependency on you. I've dragged myself down and taken you with me."

I found myself holding on to her every word, waiting on the edge of my seat for her to continue.