Count On Me(43)

Is this what it feels like to like someone? Is this what other girls feel when they see a boy they like, spend time with him or even get kissed by him, or is this just another way I’m completely wrong and weird?

“Isabelle, is everything alright?”

It takes me a minute to register but when I do, I feel bad. I’m doing it again. I’m supposed to be focusing on one of the things I’m good at and I’m thinking about him again. My mom called me on it over the weekend too. I seem to start thinking about him and get this dreamy look on my face. If it looks anything like the girls I’ve seen in movies doing it, it’s pathetic. I don’t want to be caught looking like that.

“Yes, Ms. Taylor, I’m fine.”

I want to say no, I’m not fine and that I won’t be fine until she tells me exactly what Kayden talked to her about earlier, but I don’t do it. It’s really none of my business what they’re talking about.

Maybe he finally realized he’s better off without me and he’s trying to get her help with it. He’s been with me for almost two weeks straight now and even though it’s the last thing I want to happen, I’ve been waiting for the day when it would. Maybe now’s that time. He’s finally figured out how useless I am.

If he wants that, then why did he kiss you three days ago?

Before I can answer myself, I hear Ms. Taylor speak again and the minute she does, my heart starts hammering in my chest. All of this thinking about Kayden has messed with something that before I would have had no problem with.

“Please bring your papers to the front.”

My half empty paper stares back at me and I swear if papers could show emotion, this one would be laughing at me. I don’t like the way this makes me feel. I’m not supposed to be like this.

It’s all Kayden’s fault. It’s those green eyes and the smile he always seems to have for me. The way he looks after practice when he’s still suited up and his hair’s all sweaty.

Yeah, it’s definitely his fault.

He’s screwing everything up for me. As much as I don’t understand it, I think I might be falling for him.

Falling for Kayden can’t happen. Not when he’s the very person that taught me eight years ago exactly what a broken heart feels like.



Kayden



Something’s wrong.

She’s barely texted anything since I picked her up from class and she won’t even look at me. She’s not looking at me when I’m looking at her anyway, which I’m doing a lot. I can’t seem to take my eyes off her.

I know she’s probably wondering what happened earlier when I stopped to talk to her teacher and I really want to tell her, but I can’t. I don’t have a whole lot of experience with this and even less with asking for help, so the fact that I did it at all says a whole lot about how serious I am about this.

When I said I wanted to start at the beginning, I wasn’t lying. I’ve kept true to my word too. I’m a guy, so of course when I do catch her looking at me, like she did this morning, I can’t help the way my body reacts and the urge to kiss her that follows. I’m dealing with it though and so far, I think I’ve done really well.

We’re doing the same routine as always and it’s just as easy as it was the first day, but I can tell, for her, it’s not going to be that easy. She seems lost and I want to know why. I don’t want her thinking that because I can’t tell her what I’m doing with Ms. Taylor that I’m keeping things from her or doing something that will hurt her.

“You okay?” I ask, keeping my voice light.

The text comes through instantly as it begins vibrating across the grass in front of me.

Yeah. Why does everyone keep asking me that today?

“Who else asked you?” I question, wondering who else has noticed the strange way she’s acting. With Eric not coming within a foot of her since the two of us started hanging out, I have no idea who it could be.

Ms. Taylor. She asked me in class.

Well that makes sense.

“Amy and Charlotte got back today. I guess she’s worried, like I am that you’re going to have a hard time with it.”

I’m not made of glass Kayden.

Yeah, there it is.

I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but even I can tell something’s wrong. She never answers me like that, even when I’ve upset her. I just don’t have the first clue how to make her open up about it. I want her to give me a happy face again just so I know that somewhere in her mind, she’s okay.

“I know that, but it’s a big deal. They hurt you, Belle.”

I’ve been calling her Belle a lot more lately. I like the way it sounds better than her full name. The first few times I did it, there was this weird look in her eye, like maybe I shouldn’t have done it. After awhile she stopped giving the look though and I figured everything was alright.