Beautifully Destroyed(71)
“I can’t, Cecilia, it’s too soon. You know what that shit is about. How in the hell do you think I can go out there and sing about it so soon? What if I lose it there on stage?” She just looks at me, shaking her head. This girl can drag me over the rocks, something she picked up on from Fate, but the hell if I need this right now. Fucking breathing without her is painful enough. She got angry with me and I did what I do best. I screwed up. When she called and I wasn’t alone I felt my body damn break and the only repair is Fate. I had her and that’s all that should have mattered. The words I needed to hear were just words, her actions were everything I should have needed and more, but I pushed her.
“Didn’t you always say to our girl that hiding doesn’t help anyone?” I look at her and I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes.
“Using my own words against me, that’s fucking low, Cecilia,” I spit out in anger.
“Fine, you want to get angry, get angry, but go out there and show them you feel. That she melted the ice away from our rock star. She made you real and for fuck’s sake since you won’t listen to your own words maybe you will listen to what she used to say. Go out there and say, ‘screw it, world, I’m here’.” Those words ruin me. A train wreck against my chest would have been less impactful than those five words and Cecilia damn well knows it.
“If I get called a pussy tomorrow in the tabloids I’m going to kick someone’s ass, do you get that, Cecilia?” She just gives me a grin, knowing full well she’s succeeded. This girl is the only thing keeping me together and she’s pushing me to move on. Fuck, that hurts the worst because I know she misses Fate too.
“God forbid the rock star gets called names. Don’t worry, we will protect your image. I will tell the world I poked you in the eyes before you went out there.” I chuckle at her as the anger I was feeling slips away. She definitely learned that from my Fate.
“Why would they believe you did that?” I say, trying to joke with her.
“Because I will tell them you tried to get frisky with me and I, unlike the rest of the world, wasn’t interested.” I laugh but at the same time, my soul is being crushed. She’s not the only one who isn’t interested in me. I all but damn near begged Fate to stay. Screw that, I did beg and still she left me there broken in half. “It’s time to go on, you have this, Cameron.”
Standing at the side of the stage, I see Cecilia behind the band, watching us. Telling the band the new game plan, I make sure the lights stay off and I take the stage. The crowd is cheering like their life depends on it and my heart is crashing against my chest. You’d think I had never done this before. Get your shit together.
I feel the microphone in front of me and I bring it close to me. The crowd goes dead quiet, waiting for it. “Screw it, world, I’m here,” I say quietly and I hear it come from the speakers, causing the whole building to erupt into screams. The dim lights fall on me, but I can’t see the crowd. This is the only way I can do this. I can’t look into these faces while I say everything I’ve held back. “This is something I have been working on and you better fucking like it,” I say with the arrogance they are used to getting from me and they all begin to cheer. “It’s called, ‘That’s Fate,’ so here we go.” I start playing and the band picks up. The drums get louder and I feel the vibrations throughout my body.
You walked in and I fucking ran out
I thought I was here to save you but no
Fate saved me and I never got to thank you
The whole time I was wishing she were you
That pain I never want to feel again
Every time you ran away, you took me with you
But not that day you made me stay
My pulse is racing and I feel the crowd feeding off everything I’m feeling.
So screw it, world, I’m here
Fear me but don’t fear Fate
She was brought to us to show us
That we were meant for so much more
Take Fate by the hand and love that girl
If not you just don’t understand
That’s Fate
Sometimes Fate is just the most beautiful thing.
Always asking why I love you and need you
Damn that killed me every day
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt
I do and I’d destroy anything that tried to harm her
I will stand alone and fight off her demons
That’s Fate and I thank God every day
So screw it world I’m here
Fear me but don’t fear Fate
She was brought to us to show us
That we were meant for so much more
Take Fate by the hand and love that girl
If not you just don’t understand