Beautifully Awake(96)

I dropped down in front of him on my already scraped knees. “Chase, look at me.” I removed his clenched fists from his forehead and made him look at me. Again I saw nothing.

“Goddammit, Chase, fucking look at me.” I needed him to return to this moment.

He blinked several times, and then I saw guilt, regret, and sadness roll through him. As mad as I was, he needed my comfort.

“You were young, Chase. She was young, and people make decisions that can change lives forever. It wasn’t your fault your sister got into that car.” I went into social worker mode. “You can blame yourself all you want, but it was never your fault. You said you should’ve been there for her, but you know what? She might have gotten into that car anyway. It wasn’t your decision to make … it was hers. You lost your sister, your twin. To lose someone you love—that deeply alters your life forever. I realize the pain never stops. Not ever. And the gap in your heart never closes, but it’s okay. That hole in your heart is a shape that no one else will ever fit. You don’t want them to. It’s the place where you can reminiscence and cherish your happy memories.”

The tears began somewhere in the middle of me talking. Chase sat on the ground and pulled me onto his lap. He gripped me so tight and buried his head in my chest so deep, while a sob tore through his body. His warm tears soaked my already wet body. I stroked his hair and clung to his back as I tried to calm him with my gentle words. We sat like that, holding each other for a long time. Nothing but the rain filled the air.



Finally he broke the silence and simply said, “I need you, baby.”

And all I wanted was to give him what he needed. I knew we had a lot more to talk about, but in that moment I needed him just as much. Our mouths collided with such a hungry desperation. Groaning in unison. Like this was the last kiss we might ever share. I stroked and sucked on his tongue, straddling my legs around his waist. My hands tugged on his drenched silky strands, drawing him closer. I couldn’t get him close enough. His hands greedily roamed my slick wet body, running up my legs and thighs, gripping my butt and drawing me into his straining erection. With too much fabric separating us, I released his hair and clawed at his soaked shirt.

“Oh Chase, please, I need you too, so bad.”

In one swoop he lifted me from the ground, and I instinctively encircled my legs around his waist. He strode directly for the small alleyway separating my building from the next. I moaned as my back slammed against the cold wet brick. In moments my lace thong was in shreds, and I felt his warm tip at my entrance. This man had the power to consume me, complete me and melt away everything surrounding us. He thrust inside me, fulfilling my weeks’ long emptiness.

“Chase, you feel so good.” I arched and cried out in pure and utter ecstasy as he settled into a deliciously wicked pace. He was lost inside me. He abandoned his control and gave himself over to me. To us. And I loved that I did this to him. I loved every second of it.

“Oh shit, baby...” He hesitated and slowed his pace, with a look of concern in his eyes. “Am I hurting you? Shit.”

“No, please don’t stop, I need this,” I pleaded. “I need you to take me hard, please, fuck me.”

That was all the reassurance he needed. He growled, running his tongue along my lips as he nipped and sucked my bottom lip into his mouth.

I moaned, “Yes, Chase, yes.”

He returned to his punishing pace while the rain pelted off my sensitive skin, only heightening my arousal. I was so close. God, I had missed our connection. He tightened his hands around my hips and ground into my sex. I flew over the edge. I clung to his chest as wave after wave of my climax pulsed through me.



“I’ve missed you so much. Fuck.” He shuddered against me from the sheer force of his climax. “Baby, you have no idea what you do to me.” With sexy heavy lids he looked deep into my eyes. “If just for a second you could see yourself from my eyes, maybe then you would realize just how pure sweet you are to me.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Instead, I snuggled close and decided in that moment I loved the rain.





He was so beautiful. Tonight was mind-blowing. Amazing. I could have watched him sleep all night. He looked so ... peaceful. The harsh rain was no longer lashing against my bedroom alcove windows and now sounded more like a child’s soothing soundscape. It lulled Chase to sleep about an hour ago. That along with his third crushing orgasm of the night. Not surprising, he added double that number to my running tally. Oh, how I missed this man. I longed to relive those hours over and over again. Our connection seared my soul. If there was a doubt about how I felt about this man, it was erased. I love him. Madly and deeply. All of him, even the fucked up parts.