A Boy I Used to Love(18)

I couldn't accept that, though.

I refused to accept that.

I forced myself to stand and I watched as the beach swirled around me for a few seconds. Being drunk was one thing, but the breeze only added to it. The wind flirting with my inner ear, making me sway even more than the booze.

I thought about Belle, too. I'd been dating her for six months. She was a firecracker but good at heart. She gave me a key to her place and we had started to play the whole house thing for a little while. I'd wake up to coffee made. She'd offer to do my laundry. Date nights were implied. And date nights started becoming movie nights at her place. Popcorn, wine, beer, and we were lucky if we made it halfway through the movie before things got hot.



       
         
       
        

Two nights ago, she curled up in my arms on the couch. She hugged me and let out a sighing groan. She was comfortable. She was falling for me. I wanted to fall for her. But there was a switch in my heart that wouldn't allow it to happen.

So, I broke up with her this morning. Before work.

I half expected her to show up to my tattoo shop and grab a tattoo gun and give me something custom on my back, but she stayed away. I broke her heart. But that would mend with time. If I stuck it with her and broke her life, that would make me a piece of shit.

I walked away from the beach, dumping the whiskey bottle into a trashcan, and back to my shop. I fumbled for my key and went through the back door. I sat down at my clutter-fucked desk and spread papers to the left and right, clearing a spot for me. I grabbed a piece of paper and grabbed a marker.

CLOSED FOR FAMILY ISSUE. SORRY. WILL BE OPEN AGAIN TOMORROW.

I grabbed a piece of tape and walked through the dark shop. I pressed the handwritten sign to the door and let out a long sigh.

I touched my right front pocket of my jeans.

The ring was there already.

I'd sleep off the whiskey, grab some coffee and something greasy for breakfast, and then I'd drive. Back to where it all began for me and Lacey.

Then I'd wait for her. All day.

And if and when she showed up, I'd drop to one knee and give her the damn ring in my pocket.

I should have done it the night she left.

And if she didn't show …  I'd just have to keep waiting.





River





PRESENT DAY





Pecker refilled my shot glass without asking. I reached into my back pocket, found a crumbled-up twenty, and put it on the counter. I nodded at him and he nodded back. He was the best bartender in town, knowing when to keep pouring and when to stop pouring. And there was a fine balance between the two.

I was having a few drinks with Axel and Tate. Although Axel had been working on some blonde at the other end of the bar and Tate sat like a stone, lost in thought. He seemed like he was worried about something, glancing at the door to Little Mikey's each time it opened.

"You expecting someone?" I finally asked Tate, breaking up our silence.

"No," he said. "You ever think about your own shop again?"

Changing the subject. Nice.

"Never," I said.

"Why?"

"I like where I'm at," I said. "You got a good thing at St. Skin. Don't worry about me skipping on you."

"I always worry about that," Tate said. "I try to be fair in everything I do."

"And to be fair, Tate, I'm sipping whiskey and letting the day roll off my back," I said. "Why the hell are you worried about me opening my own shop?" 

Tate grinned. "Fuck it."

"But since we're on the subject … "

"Of what?" Tate asked.

"Tomorrow," I said. "I need the day off."

"Okay."

"The whole day. I'm going out of town."

"Out of town?"

"I have something to do."

"You just found out about this now?" Tate asked.

I reached under the bar and touched my leg. I felt the ring in my pocket.

How did the hell another year fly right by?

"Tate, trust me," I said. "I just need tomorrow off. I have a thing I do each year."

"What thing?" Axel asked, joining the conversation.

"Just a thing," I said. "A promise I made to myself. Something I do every year."

"Tell me this involves a woman," Axel said. "Is this why you got right off that beauty of yours?"

"Shit," I said. "Yeah, sort of, Axel." I looked at Tate. "What do you say?"

Tate laughed. "You guys come and go when you want. I don't give a shit. I'm not going to dictate orders at you. You know how I run things. Each room in the shop needs to make money. That's what I care about. Missing a day isn't going to make anything collapse."