A Boy I Used to Love(17)

"Ten years?" Lacey asked.

"Fine, sooner, whatever. On this night. This date. Whatever. We meet up."

"Why can't we just be together in six months? A year?"

"It won't work," I said. "You have to go chase that dream down, Lacey. It's what you want. Go become a doctor."

"I can sneak out to visit you," she said. "And you visit me. We can figure it out, River."

Reluctantly, I nodded. I hurried back to her and took her hands. I squeezed them and pressed them to my chest. It was the booze making me think crazy and making me think that my plan was amazing.

"Time can't tear us apart," I said. "Neither can distance. You'll always be my girl. My woman. My love. I swear to you."

"So, you want to meet me right here?"

"No. The woods."

"The woods?"

"Where I took you that one night. Remember? From the abandoned house. We walked to the path and went to that big ass rock."

"Yes, I remember."

"We put the sleeping bags down and watched the stars all night. We watched the sun rise. We laughed. We … "

Lacey grinned with tears in her eyes. "Yeah, we did everything that night into the morning."

It was an insane idea, but it was all I had. It got Lacey to stop crying for the moment. Then, I held her and talked about every great memory I could possibly think of. I put her on the hood of the car and went and shut the garage door. I locked it. I took her right there, right on the hood of the car. I thrust inside her with a pain in my chest that I never thought would go away. (And it took years to even subside.)

When we finished, we were out of breath, sweating. Lacey touched my face as our lips kept kissing, counting down to what would become our last kiss.

"Ten years," she whispered.

"Or sooner," I said, my voice slurred. "But you have to be ready. No fucking up life for me, Lacey. I'm not worth it." 

Lacey playfully bit at my lip and her eyes filled with fresh tears.

We had to break apart. She had a flight to catch.

I walked her to her car and opened the door for her. The night was already starting to become a blur in my mind. My stomach was doing back flips like crazy. The swirl of a drunk tornado was starting to kick up, too.

I kissed Lacey one last time, a kiss I wouldn't remember.

I stood there and watched her back away. That would become a faded memory.

The second she was out of sight, it all hit me.

What had I said to her? Meet her in a year? Five years? Ten years? Meet her at the big rock near the old house?

The entire lot started to spin faster and faster. I turned to my right and tried to run but fell over my own two feet. I hit the ground hard, just as my stomach let go. I threw up all over the lot, screaming as I did so. Nobody came to my aid, though, because their music was still blasting.

That was okay, though. I wanted to be alone.

I turned and leaned against a rail.

I was a fucking mess.

And that's when I started to cry.

I was sure I'd never see Lacey again.





Lacey





ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO





The plane touched down and I was on my way to my new house. My new life. My new everything. I promised myself that nothing would change. My feelings for River would forever remain strong. In my head, I started the countdown. Maybe it would be ten years, maybe less. But no matter what, the second I was done with college and on my own I would go to our spot and find him. I would love him for the rest of my life, no matter what.

What I didn't expect was the truth of time and how cruel of a bitch she could be.

Five years later, everything changed.

A guy was on his knee, proposing to me in front of my parents.

I said no.

And at that exact same time, across the country, River was on his way to jail.

Two hearts, ripped apart, forever lost.

I wouldn't find him and he wouldn't try to find me …  so we would remain forever lost.





River





A FEW YEARS AGO





I sat on the beach with a bottle of whiskey. The bottle was half gone as the sun was half set. Pounding the entire bottle was not going to be a wise decision on my end, though. Last time I did that I woke up to a lifeguard blowing his whistle in my ear.

I left the bottle of whiskey next to me and watched the rest of the sunset. My thoughts were running fast and hard. I probably just looked like I was relaxing after a long day of work but it was anything but that. Yeah, it had been a busy day at my tattoo shop, but there was no relaxing.

Tomorrow was the day.

Shit, for all I knew, I was just a blip on the radar of memories in Lacey's mind by then. Getting shipped off to New York, going to a new school, meeting new people, all that newness could easily overtake all the old stuff. Would that have been the worst thing in the world? Not a chance in hell. Maybe Lacey was meant to be nothing more than a wild fling for me. And I was meant to be the one who showed her the ropes a little.