A Boy I Used to Love(13)

"Then you're going to keep that money. And there will be more for you. I know you have obligations at home and shit. I won't let you let me get in your way. You're going to finish college. But you're going to do it your way and go for what you want. And I'm going to be there, cheering you on."

"What about you?" I asked. "Don't you want something?"

"I'm looking at the only thing I ever need in my life."

He was melting me in all the right places with all the right words. I tucked my money away and threw my arms around him. I kissed him, leaning into him. His hands grabbed my sides, and he winced in pain again.

I broke away. "Shit, sorry."

"Never," he growled.

He lifted me up, pain and all, and carried me back into the house.

He stunk of sweat, smoke, and beer. Yet I couldn't remember ever being so turned on my life. When he put me on my feet, I wasted no time in clawing at his clothes, wanting him naked again. I wanted to pick up where we left off.

And we did.

I touched his wounds. I kissed them. He loved me. Time sped by.

He held me as I held him.

That night, I would have married River. I would have done anything he wanted of me. But all he wanted was my time and attention.

Something we were about to lose.



I walked through campus, hugging my Anatomy book on my way to a Philosophy class. I wished I could just take all the classes I really needed and not the junk filler ones. I used to like those classes, but sitting there, tapping my eraser to a notebook, I could feel the seconds weighing on me. Those were seconds I could have been with River.

He was my obsession. He was my love. It was something I could no longer contain nor control, even as much as it pissed my parents off. I needed to spend my nights with River. I got to wake up so many mornings in his arms. He had a small apartment, but it was a palace to me. To wake up together was a dream. Some mornings, he would get up extra early and make me coffee and breakfast. Other mornings, I got to do the same for him.

I smiled wide as I thought about everything he and I had been going through. I was sure that soon enough, it would all work out. He was working more hours at the garage and fewer hours fighting. He even mentioned going to school to get some certifications or something in auto stuff. I couldn't wait for that so I could brag to my parents about who River was becoming.

I stopped to get a book that my Philosophy teacher required us to have. It was the first time that I wasn't ahead on things. Normally, I'd have the book read and memorized. Now? I didn't care so much. River sort of showed me how to live outside the box a little. 

When I tried to buy the book, it wouldn't go through. There was a problem with my account with the college. So I had to use cash to pay for the stupid forty-dollar book. I would have to wait until after class to figure out what was going on with my account.

That was the beginning of the end for me.

Why?

Because when I went to investigate, I was given a simple answer.

I wasn't enrolled in that college anymore. I had been taken off their student list that very day at eight in the morning.

I tried calling my mother. No answer. My father. No answer. I was left with no choice but to drive home and try to find them.

I found them. At home.

They were at the dining room table, waiting for me.

My mother had a cup of coffee in front of her. My father stood behind his chair, trying to look tall and angry. There was a folder on the table.

I didn't have to say a word to know something was very wrong. I had come to freak out about college, but when I saw their faces, I just knew …

"If we told you, you would have gotten mad," my father said.

"Mad?" I asked.

"You're not enrolled anymore," my mother said. "You've been accepted somewhere else, actually."

"What?"

My father grabbed the folder and carried it to me. He opened it and showed me an acceptance letter to a college I never heard of, and one I'd definitely never applied to. But all I could focus on was the address. It was on the opposite coast. In New York.

"What is this?"

"Lacey, this is important for you. For us."

"All of us," my mother said.

"You think you're making me go to a different college? To get me away from River?"

"Lacey," my father said. "I took a new job in New York. Right in the city. I know most startups are based here, and I've made a good living here, but this is a big opportunity for me. And you deserve a better school. This can fast-track you to medical school. The man who is going to be my boss … his brother is the president of the university. So it's all settled. You'll start classes back Monday. Everything will be waiting, and you'll be placed right where you want."