A Boy I Used to Love(10)

"I want to try a cigarette."

"You've never tried one before?"

"No."

"Wow, you really want to ruin all of you, huh?"

"Come on, River," she said.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out another smoke. We stood there like we were two innocent kids, taking all the wrong choices in life. Truth was, we were both adults, living life on two very different paths. She wasn't rich, but she had a shit-ton more than me. Her parents were well-off, and she had a comfortable and controlled life. The worst trouble she ever got into was giggling too loud in the hallways back in high school. And when she got yelled at, her face turned red and she almost cried.

"I just want to try," she said, sticking out her lip.

"You know they'll kill you," I said. "Very dangerous for your health."

"You're dangerous for my health, River, but I'm still here."

"You just got a taste of me," I said.

"And I want more," she said. She moved in for a kiss but stopped with barely a millimeter between us. "But first I want to cigarette."

Fuck, she was sexy. Just ungodly, natural, and sexy. Like nobody I ever met, and I knew I'd never meet anyone close to her caliber.



       
         
       
        

"Fine," I said.

We sat down on the sleeping bag with the same anticipation as we had a little bit ago before making love.

I lit up a fresh smoke and took a deep drag. I then gave it to Lacey. She held it awkwardly, like it was a firecracker and was going to blow up in her fingers. I smiled as she slowly put her lips to it. She was shaking with fear.

"Lacey … "

"Shut up," she said.

Her eyes almost crossed as she tried to watch herself take her first drag. It was a quick one, lasting less than a second before she burst into a fit of coughing. She held the cigarette out, eyes shut as she coughed. I burst into laughter. I couldn't help it.

"Asshole," she said, eyes watering, face red.

"Give me that," I said.

"No," she said. "I'll get it."

I watched as Lacey took two more drags before passing it back to me.

I wouldn't let her try again.

Her face looked a little white as her body tried to come to terms with what she had just done.

"If you feel sick, it's okay," I said. "That happens."

"I'm fine," she lied. "Just fine."

I put the smoke out and grabbed her, pulling her close to my body. I didn't need an addiction when I was with Lacey. She was my addiction. Shit, I had no plan in life. No path. No purpose. Nothing. I worked out of an auto garage and made more money in dealing with stolen parts and fighting than I did punching a clock. Sure, we'd meet up with other crews in the junk yard and bet on fights. I was the best fighter of our group and made decent money. Of course, that wasn't exactly a real career. But fuck it, what did it matter? I had some cash in my pocket. I had no bills. No debt. I could buy smokes and beer. I could work on my truck for free. And best of all, I had the woman of my dreams in my arms, her fingers tickling down my chest, making me rock-hard again.

I rolled over and put my body on top of hers. I put my right fist to the floor and pushed up a little. She looked even prettier on her back. It was like something happened with the lighting or some shit, I couldn't figure it out. She didn't just make me hard, she made my heart pound in my chest.

I really loved her. It was far from some great physical thing. This shit was deep. This shit was real. I couldn't stop kissing her. In fact, Lacey was the one who pulled at me, sliding her hand down my jeans, wanting to go at it again. For me, I was good with just kissing her until the sun came up over the ready-to-fall over, beat-up house.

I moved between her legs and propped myself up on my knees. I opened my jeans and paused so I could take in all her beauty. She knew the darkness inside me. Where I came from. That where I was going was like driving a car with the windshield fogged up. But she didn't care. Maybe she was still too innocent to care. Maybe she was too dumb. No offense to her, but maybe that puppy-love stuff had gotten to her so bad she couldn't understand reason or reality. 

I wasn't going to be the one to break her heart, though.

Even though our reality wasn't going to let us be together.



I lifted her shirt up and started to kiss down her neck. Lacey put her head back and groaned. Her skin tasted so sweet. She was like fucking candy. Soft candy with a warm, creamy center. I exhaled and let my breath cascade against her left breast.

That's when I heard the broken tailpipe thunder of a truck. A familiar truck, at that. Then came the horn. A half-dead horn that sounded more like a whine than something intimidating.