Wherever You Will Go(10)

As we settle down and our laughter ceases, Rach just won’t let the subject go. “So, when do you think you’ll go in to the office?”

“I don’t know. I know I have to; Saxon is probably more than ready to move on to bigger and better things. I just want to see what happens with the baby first so I know where I stand and what I’m going to do. Hopefully I’ll know in a couple of weeks or so.”

“Are you sure you really don’t want to sell?”

I sigh and look at her. “You know I can’t sell it, Rach. It was Nate’s dream, and he worked for years to get it where it is. I just have to learn how I can keep it going for him without ruining everything he’s built.”

“How are you going to do that, Brooke? You have no idea about being an investment banker. Nate and Saxon didn’t just fall into that—they studied hard for years, did internships, and worked their way up the ladder. Saxon can’t sit you in front of a computer and just teach you that.”

“Well, thanks for the encouragement.” I say sarcastically before glaring at her. “I’m not an idiot; I know that. Why do you think we have employees? I’m not going to be doing that side of things. I just need to learn the business basics, all the other stuff which goes into running the business. Staff rights, expectations, tax obligations, paperwork, etcetera. For all the skill-based stuff I’ll have a second-in-charge.”

“Saxon?”

“No. I wish. It would be perfect. He can keep on running things as he always has, and I can slowly integrate myself into the business. No rush because he has control over everything, knows everything that is going on, and what needs to be done. The staff already respect him and listen to him; it would make life so much easier.”

I think about how easy it would make things for me to be able to keep the company if Saxon stayed on. However, the plan was always for Saxon to move on once Nate was established. That way Nate would be in a position to help Saxon, even allowing him to take his own clients with him. Why would he only want to receive a pay-cheque when he could have his own business and reap all the benefits and profits that go with it?

“Why don’t you ask him to stay? Offer him more money or something? Don’t forget, he built that company from the ground up, standing right next to Nate. Maybe he doesn’t want to leave?”

“I can’t do that. I’m sure he’s keen to move on now that there is nothing holding him there. I know he did Nate a massive favour by sticking by his side for all those years to help build Nate’s dream and ignoring his own, but it’s time for all of us to move forward.” I say it like I really believe it.

Rachel nods as I keep talking. “I think maybe that’s why I’ve been putting off going into the office. I know Sax will stay while he thinks I need him and am home grieving. I know once I go in the office and learn the basics he’ll be out of there, and I’ll be left holding the fort alone. I don’t want to fail Nate.”

Rachel leans over and rubs my leg. “Brooke, you could never fail Nate. In his eyes, you could do no wrong.”

My stomach drops. “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” After a small pause I try to move the topic of conversation. “Did you ever hear back from that job you applied for?”

“Ummmm,” she stalls. “Not yet, but I’m sure I will soon.” She looks down at her hands, which are fiddling in her lap. It’s almost as if she’s avoiding eye contact.

We sit in awkward silence for a minute before I decide to lighten the air. “Anyway, tell me more about Will. I think you should totally accept his dinner invitation.”

“Maybe. I’ll have a think about it,” she says pensively as she stares out over the balcony and relaxes back in the seat.

The heaviness between us dissipates and a few more hours pass, along with a few more drinks, until Rachel decides to call a cab. I offer for her to stay, but she says she has an early meeting and her townhouse is fifteen minutes closer to her office.

In the morning I’ll be glad she didn’t stay, and wasn’t here to see my devastation.





I’m woken with stabbing pains in my stomach. Opening my eyes, I search the darkness for the alarm clock: 3:34 am. Rolling over onto my side, I try to gain some relief in my belly. That’s when I feel the moistness between my legs. No, please, don’t let it be.

Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I get up and go to the bathroom. Pulling my panties down I drop down onto the toilet. My heart stops and pain shoots through my chest when I see what’s there. Blood. Lots and lots of blood. Like, two weeks of overdue period blood.