Wanted(14)

He had no desire to do that. Besides, he’d been meaning to work the back fences today. There was much to do, since he only had Saturdays to get anything done. Over the last few years, he’d gradually worked more at the lumberyard with Brent and farmed less. The money was better, and far more stable. That was a good thing, since so much in his personal life felt unsteady.

Still holding the letter, Winnie said, “It’s time I went to visit him. Past time.”

“It’s a shame he can’t travel here. That’s the way of things, don’t you agree?”

“I already told you that his father is sick, and that Malcolm must run their hardware store. Honestly, Jonathan, didn’t you hear me?”

“I heard you.” Yes, he heard her, but other things weighed on his mind, most especially Mary and Hannah. Once again, they’d seemed whiny and angry the evening before. Mary had gone about her chores so slowly that they took double the time that they should. Hannah just frowned and clutched the doll Sarah had made for her even tighter.

It’s been almost two years now, Lord. When are You going to make things better?

“Jonathan?”

“I’m sorry. I am, uh, interested, just busy, you know.”

She took his apology without much thought. “I worry about planning ahead, but I feel that something is mighty special between me and Malcolm.” Dimples showing, she blurted, “For the first time in my life, I have hope for a family of my own. Perhaps I’ll be planning a wedding soon.”

Jonathan bent down to pick up a shovel in order to hide his scowl. Winnie sounded so happy and optimistic. However, at the moment, he couldn’t think of a worse thing than Winnie courting and marrying. What would he do with the girls then?

“Jonathan?” She picked up the leather glove he dropped. “What do you think?”

With a nod of thanks, he took the glove and paired it with the other. “I think you’re counting chickens,” he mumbled, though even to his own ears he knew he sounded grumpy and terribly old. When had he forgotten what it was like to be in love? To want to be in love?

“Not necessarily.”

“Winnie, you’ve never even met this man, face-to-face.”

“But I will soon.”

“Well, I just don’t want you to go getting your hopes up.” Now that was a foolish thing to say, indeed! Her hopes were already up so high, a kite could be attached to them.

“Did you and Sarah always know you were going to be married?”

The question brought to mind images of Sarah. Of her ruddy face and matter-of-fact ways. Of her easy laugh. Of the first time he’d kissed her. “No. Not always.”

“When, then?”

“I couldn’t say.” When had he first thought about a life with Sarah? When he’d first spied her at a neighbor’s wedding? When he’d known she’d return his feelings?

Winnie leaned against the wagon. “Come now, Brother. Tell me something worth remembering.”

“There isn’t much to tell.” And there really wasn’t. If a person was looking for a story about flowers and romance, their engagement was surely not it.

But because Winnie still waited for a reply, and she did so much for him, and because she was asking and she didn’t ask for much, he tried to remember. Slowly Jonathan said, “As you know, Sarah and I met when we were young. Courting and marriage seemed like a gut idea.”

“You were anxious, right? You married young.”

Had he been anxious? All he remembered was that it had been expected and he had no reason not to marry Sarah. But that sounded so harsh. Clearing his throat, he murmured, “We were ready. Mamm and Daed helped us, remember? We lived at home for quite a time.”

All moony eyed, Winnie nodded. “I remember that. You and Sarah, down the hall.”

Yes. To his shame, Jonathan had been terribly happy with the arrangement. His mother had been a good buffer between him and his demanding, outspoken bride who always had something to say about everyone and everything. At least once a day he would wish she’d hold her tongue more. But she never did.

No, Sarah was a gregarious sort. That was for sure. She’d always eagerly invited scores of people over to their home, creating extra work for everyone. She had often complained about how much he worked and finally asked him to spend most of Saturdays with her. She’d never understood his need to work.

She’d never understood his reluctance to be around people. No, Sarah had not been a wallflower. Not even a little bit of one.

Winnie cleared her throat. “Jonathan? Well? What happened then?”

“You know what happened. We moved here. Then…well, you know…”