Tell Me It's Real(52)

What can I say; I’m psychic

So

??

What r u doing?

Working

Guess what I’m doing?

What?

Going thru ur stuff

What?!?! Vince!! PERSONAL SPACE

U have a lot of movies

I like movies

Yeah, and they’re all action movies

So? What’s wrong with that?

Nothing. I just thought u’d have more girly stuff

GIRLY STUFF?!?!

Yeah. Like chick flicks. U know

And why would you think I have chick flicks?

Becuz. Ur Paul. Float like a butterfly, sting like a unicorn ;)

I’m going to hit you with my car for real this time

o_O that’s the face I’m making at u

You don’t want to know the face I’m making at you

Sex face? >_<

No. Not sex face

Blowjob face? *o*

That looks dirty. Stop it

I know. I’m going in ur room to look in ur drawers

Vince! So help me God, I will hart you

U’ll hart me? I hart u 2!

HURT. I WILL HURT YOU

Text threats are illegal. Look up the penal code

That’s not a real thing

I know. I just like saying penal. SEX FACE >_<

I am going to tell management that you’re faking your injuries

Nah. U won’t. What’s ur middle name?

What the hell? Do you have ADD?

No. Do u have SUBTRACTION? Haha, get it??

Yes, Vince. I get it

I need my own TV show

No one would watch it

Middle name?

James

So ur Paul James Auster? That’s pretty hot

No, it’s not. What is yours?

U’ll laugh at me

What? No I won’t

Everyone does

I’m not everyone, Vince

Fine. It’s Melody

Your name is Vincent Melody Taylor?

Yes. Melody was my grandmother’s name. I had no choice

I see

Ur laughing at me, aren’t u?

Yes. So hard. I’m going to tell everyone. Especially Tad

Why don’t u like him? Tad’s nice

If by nice, you mean a plague-ridden whore then yes. He’s nice

U don’t need to be jealous. I only have eyes for u (That’s a song!)

Oh, please. I’m not jealous (I’m well aware that’s a song)

U have a lot of argyle socks, Paul

I like socks. Get out of my drawers!!!

Yeah, but u REALLY like them. Like fetish like them

I don’t have fetishes

U could open up an argyle sock and sex store. Call it Sock ’N Cock

Don’t joke about that. It’s my dream. Not the cock part

I believe u can fly. I believe u can touch the sky

Do not threaten me with R. Kelly song lyrics. I’m offended

He likes watersports

I don’t want to know how you know that

Do u?

What?

Like watersports?

Are you asking me if I like to get peed on?

Yes

No, Vince. I don’t like to get peed on

That’s good to know. I’ve never peed on anyone except myself in the shower

You share way too much

I’d pee on u if u got stung by a jellyfish

How charming. We live in the desert

Yeah, but when we go on vacation in Asia. They eat jellyfish there

That’s disgusting

U could eat one and get stung and then I’d pee in ur mouth

You are so fucking gross. I’m not going to Asia with you

Yeah, u will. U just don’t know it yet. Is that ur parents in the picture?

Are you still in my room!?!?!

Yeah. They look nice

I guess. They’re kind of weird

I like weird. I can’t wait to meet them

You want to meet my parents?

Sure. When?

That wasn’t an invitation

Oh

Why?

Why what?

Why do you want to meet my parents?

Because they look nice

Vince?

Yeah?

Are your parents nice?

I guess. Don’t really talk to them all that much. They’ve got better things to do

Oh. That sucks

Eh. It’s okay. Who needs em, right?

Yeah. Maybe. My grandma lives in Tucson too

Oh? That’s cool. My grandparents are all dead

She has a homophobic parrot named Johnny Depp

Please tell me ur not joking

Not joking

Paul?

What?

That. Is. AMAZING

Wait until it screams that it doesn’t want you to rape it

LOLOLOLOL

I’M NOT JOKING

That’s so awesome. I’ll go with u next time. I want to see it

Uh, okay?

Hey, what’s in this box under ur bed?

STAY OUT OF THAT BOX!!!!!!!

OMFG. U HAVE SEX TOYS?!?!?!?! LMAOOOOO

VINCE!!!!!

THIS DILDO IS HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it’s BLACK!!! LOLOLOL

I hate everything about you

Do u use these!?!?! That is so fucking hot. Grrrrr

No. I don’t use them. I didn’t even know they were there

Ur a liar. Here. Hold on

What?

Did u get that pic I just sent?

You mean the one of you with your mouth on a black dildo?

Yeah

No, Vince. I didn’t

It took u long enough to respond. U go into the bathroom and jerk it?

NO I DIDN’T!!!

U did too! And u know what face u made?

Let me guess. Sex face?

SEX FACE!! >_<

Put the sex toys away!!!

I did. I’m looking to see if u have a diary