“I’m awake,” he said rather quickly, opening his eyes.
I scowled at him. “That’s cheating.”
He smirked as he stretched. “You already promised. You can’t back down now.”
“Get off me. Your head weighs like thirty pounds.”
“The human head only weights eight pounds,” he scoffed as he sat up.
I stared at him.
“What?” he said defensively. “I may not be smart, but I do know some things.”
“And one of those things is how much a person’s head weighs?” I asked.
“You didn’t know that, did you?” he asked, sounding weirdly shy.
I did (I don’t know why), but it seemed important for some reason that I didn’t let him know. “Nope. I sure didn’t.”
He looked inordinately pleased. “Stick with me, kid. I’ll teach you some stuff.”
I somehow resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Are you hungry?”
He shook his head. “Those pills kinda messed with my stomach a bit.” He tried to send me a meaningful look to make me feel guilty. He failed. Miserably.
“I’m not going to feel bad about that,” I told him. “You needed to sleep.”
“You realize, though,” he said, “that I’ll never be able to take a drink from you again without worrying that you’re trying to drug me.”
“Good,” I said.
“Great comeback. Can I take a shower?”
My mouth went dry. “Uh.”
He leered at me. “You can join me if you want.”
“That’s okay. I’ll take Wheels outside and you can… take a shower.”
“Naked,” Vince said, arching an eyebrow.
“Naked,” I agreed weakly. “Most people do it that way.”
“And you could do it with me.”
I don’t know where it came from, but I decided to play back. “Tell you what,” I said, leaning closer to him. His breathing picked up as my lips almost grazed his ear. “If you can stand without grimacing, groaning, or showing you’re in any kind of pain, I’ll get in the shower with you.” I moved just a fraction of an inch closer. “Naked.”
“You will? No joking?”
“No joking.”
“Oh, man. You should not have said that. You’re going to be so naked in like two minutes.”
“If you say so.” I sat back and waited.
To be fair, he did try very damn hard, which could have meant he wanted me really bad. Which I still didn’t quite understand. He sat there for a moment taking deep breaths in and then letting them out slowly. A look of supreme concentration came over his face, and for a brief moment, I thought he was going to make it. My mind wandered to the thought of that nipple piercing again, and I wanted to know what it would look like when it was wet. Then he shot up from the couch quickly, groaning as he did so, his face contorting in pain. He gasped when he stood upright, wrapping an arm around his side. He looked almost stricken when he glanced over at me.
“I can try it again,” he said through gritted teeth.
I shook my head as I stood. “You’re an idiot,” I told him, though there was no heat behind my words.
That didn’t stop him from flinching away. I cursed softly when I realized what I’d said. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
He nodded tightly but didn’t speak. I wanted to find everyone in the world who had ever insulted his intelligence and punch them in the face. It was a weird feeling to have.
I sighed. “C’mon. I’ll show you where the shower is. The hot water will feel good on you. I’ll get the guest room ready and you can go to bed when you’re done.”
I tried not to think of the naked man in my bathroom as I stood outside with Wheels while he did his business. “What the fuck am I doing?” I asked him softly. Wheels didn’t answer, deciding to take a shit instead. I wondered if that was answer enough.
After letting him chase a lizard for a few minutes (there’s something inherently funny about seeing my half dog going up on one wheel as he tears around in circles—it’s like he’s performing daredevil tricks!) he followed me inside and went immediately for his food bowl, acting like the little boy he was and scarfing down his kibble like it was the first time he’d eaten in years.
The shower was still running and I could hear Vince singing horribly off-key to himself. At least I knew he hadn’t fallen and died in my shower, which I was eternally grateful for. I quickly made up the guest room (and by made up, I mean I pulled the covers back on the bed and sniffed the sheets to make sure they didn’t smell like ass or dog—they didn’t).