I nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. “Yeah. Unless you have somewhere to be? Or unless you want to go home. Maybe you do. I don’t know. I just thought you’d like to sleep in or something. Or maybe I can just come home at lunch and take you then. It doesn’t matter to me, so whatever you want to—”
“Paul.”
“Yeah?”
I felt a hand on my chin and he lifted up my face. Before I knew what was happening, minty lips brushed against mine, just a scrape before they were gone. “That sounds okay. Thank you for taking care of me.”
My face was red yet again. “I did hit you, after all,” I said apologetically, my face still in his hands. I couldn’t take the closeness to him anymore without doing something stupid, so I stepped away and moved down the hall. “Good night,” I said without turning around. I closed my bedroom door behind me.
And, of course, two hours later, I was still wide awake as I stared up at the ceiling, cursing my own lameness, wondering at what point in my life my testicles had been removed. “I’m a eunuch,” I muttered. “I’m a hairless, no-balled eunuch. I should put up missing posters to see if anyone can return my manhood. Because it’s gone. It’s lost. I am a walking vagina.”
There was a knock at my door. Wheels lifted his head. I watched the door warily. “Yeah?”
“Paul? You awake?” He sounded nervous. Odd.
“Probably why I said ‘yeah.’”
“Oh yeah. Can I come in?”
I sighed and stared at the ceiling. “Okay.”
The door opened, and he stood in the doorway. My eyes were adjusted to the dark, and I could see him scratching his stomach, looking everywhere except at me. “Everything all right?” I asked him.
He shrugged but still wouldn’t look at me. “Couldn’t sleep,” he muttered.
“Do you need the muscle relaxers again?”
He shook his head. “Don’t like feeling fuzzy. It doesn’t hurt too much. Shower helped.”
“Oh. Okay. So… what’s up?”
He sighed. “I….” He stopped and rubbed his hands over his face. “Look, I usually don’t sleep very well, okay? Never have.”
“You slept fine earlier today,” I reminded him. “Though it was probably just the drugs.”
He nodded and started gnawing on his thumbnail. “Wasn’t just that,” he mumbled.
“Well, what was it?”
“It was you,” he said defiantly, as if expecting me to contradict him.
“Me?” I squeaked and then coughed. “Me?” I said again, my voice far deeper, sounding like I was doing an impression of Darth Vader. I wanted to tell Vince I was his father, but I didn’t think we were quite up to role-playing yet.
“Yeah.”
I considered his words. “So… you’re saying I put you to sleep. That’s… comforting.”
He scowled at me. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“What?”
“Twist my words. Make it something they’re not. Make you sound bad. Stop it.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, feeling properly rebuked.
“Oh, I like that.” He grinned, waggling his eyebrows at me, some of his smugness returning. Then it faded almost immediately. “I just… I think I sleep better. You know. With you.”
Oh, man. What a fucking line. That’s so not going to work on me.
I waited.
He squirmed.
I sighed… and lifted up the comforter on my bed.
He looked relieved as he walked over and climbed into the bed, lying on his side to avoid putting any pressure on his back. And so he could look straight at me.
“You’re used to getting your way, aren’t you?” I asked, bemused. Wheels took the opportunity to drag himself between us, where he laid down with a mighty huff.
Vince shrugged. “I guess. That’s not what this is about, though.”
“Oh? Then what is it about?”
“Sleep, Paul. I’m not going to have sex with you tonight, so stop asking.”
I was too speechless to think of anything coherent to say in retort. By the time my brain started functioning again, he sighed that happy sound and closed his eyes. But before he drifted off completely, he reached out and grabbed my hand, curling it into his own. And then he slept.
6) Vince Likes To Send Text Messages and Go Through My Shit
What r u doing?
Who is this?
U can’t tell? How disappointing
You spell out disappointing but you can’t spell out the word “you”?
U text like u talk. That’s special
I don’t remember giving you my number, Vince
Ha! U DO know who this is. Oh happy day!