Tell Me It's Real(45)

I did as Sandy told me, bringing in the pajamas he’d gotten me that he had sworn cost him at least $15,000 (no one can embellish like a drag queen). Vince smiled up at me as I handed him the pajamas, while I simultaneously took Wheels off his lap (and resisted the urge to hiss “bad dog”). Wheels glared up at me as I reattached his cart and sent him on his way. I turned to tell Vince where the bathroom was so he could change, only to find him standing at the other end of the couch, sliding his bike shorts down his mad crazy hot thighs, bending over slowly and in deep concentration as if trying to keep the pain at bay.

It was at that time I learned Vince liked to wear a black jock under his bike shorts. It was also at this time that I found out that I really enjoyed black jock straps. Like intensely enjoyed them. To the point that I was sure God himself had come down from heaven and said, “Here, my son, I’ve brought you a gift. Check out that sweet ass framed by black straps. You’re welcome.”

I didn’t even bother to think on whether Vince was doing what he was doing on purpose, because I couldn’t get a single coherent thought together (though, in retrospect, I am absolutely certain that Vince was a fan of Baywatch because he had the slow-motion thing down pat). All I could really focus on was that ass framed by the jock, the white skin even paler against the black fabric, and the light dusting of hair on his ass. He lifted one foot slowly as he bent forward and pulled his leg out of the shorts. Then he did the same with the other foot, bending forward slooowly to get the shorts off completely.

Once this master class on How To Give Someone An Erection By Doing Almost Nothing was completed, he stood up straight and lifted his arms carefully above him and leaned back slightly, stretching out what I’m sure were very sore muscles. My dress shirt rode up the front of the jock and the hair on his stomach was so dark that it looked like night. This, of course, led to the second thing I learned about him.



2) Vince Taylor Is A Manipulative Bastard (And I Have No Self-Esteem)



Part of me wanted to do a little dance, possibly break out the Hammertime bit that I knew how to do really well (it’s really about how fast you can move your feet and hips. Don’t tell me you’ve never tried it because you’d be a big, fat liar, so just stop: Hammertime). That part of me wanted to dance because Vince Taylor was wearing that jock with my shirt and standing in my house doing this totally awesome pseudoyoga stretch that was obscene given the fact that his junk was practically visible.

At least I know he’s circumcised now, I thought, somewhat relieved. I didn’t have anything against uncircumcised penises, it was just that I’d never had one before, and I didn’t want for my very first one to be with Vince, because I was pretty sure I couldn’t handle anything new on top of everything already happening. Then it hit me that I actually had that thought, like I was going to get anywhere near his cock at some point in the future. I had to stop myself from running out of the room in sheer embarrassment.

But he knew. That smug bastard knew exactly what he was doing. I knew this because while I was ogling the magnificence that was the sight in front of me, he kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, making sure I was watching him do his thought-out, choreographed peep show. He stretched back even further, though a mild grimace shot across his face, as if the position pained him.

But then he decided to take it one step further, coming back up from his stretch. Probably one step too far, if what happened after was any indication.

He reached up and started to unbutton my dress shirt, starting with the bottom button, moving his hands slowly because he knew I was watching every single movement he made. The first button slid out and he spread the shirt a little, exposing the top of the jock and the hairs on his stomach. He rested his hands on his skin for a moment, gently tapping where the hair disappeared into the fabric.

Then he moved onto the second button, and undid it just as slow. Unfortunately, it brought back that doubt that had plagued me ever since I was eight years old and that jerk Brady Johnson (older, meaner, and just plain stupider) had called me a fat ass on the playground and had tried to rip my shirt off over my head to show everyone what he called my “big fat titties.” That day, for the first time, I felt like I wasn’t good enough, that I was somehow lesser than everyone else around me. The little voice inside my head was born that said I was gross and disgusting, and everyone who said something negative about me was right.

So watching Vince undress in my living room brought the voice back, loud and in charge. It had been quiet for a few days, maybe because I’d been floating in a state of suspended animation. But the voice reminded me of when I’d first seen Vince, surrounded by Darren and the other homo jocks at the club. It reminded me of how Vince had looked when that twinkie Eric had started to grind up on him like I wasn’t even there, the jock friends looking on and grinning at him like they were part of some great, big secret club that the rest of us couldn’t belong to. It reminded me that Vince did not push him away. It reminded me of that Bear Dude later in the night who grabbed a handful of his ass as he brought them closer together to pretend to dance when in actuality it was just fucking with their clothes on.