Ugly(114)

The mood shifts, and it’s now serious, not playful as it was just moments ago. “You already bought me something.”

“And this is something extra. It’s not big, just something little. Besides, I got a kick out of buying it for you. Made me laugh while I was thinking about it, made me laugh while I was driving to get it, and made me laugh because I anticipate your reaction won’t be…hmmm, well it’ll be interesting.”

He’s piqued my interest. I’m struggling with accepting more than the delicate gold bracelet, but this is really getting my curiosity riled up. And besides, I want him to have his cologne. “Okay, I must admit, I want to know what it is that made you laugh so much.” I hold my hand out for the envelope.

“We open them together?”

“On three?” He nods. He picks up the present, and to me he’s like a kid in a candy store. Well, what I assume a kid in a candy store would be like. “One,” I pause and he scratches at the tape on the side of the present. “Two.” He stands in a way that looks like he’s about to take off in a sprint. “Three!” I open my envelope and take out what’s inside. But I’m watching him as he rips the paper clean off the box.

“Oh wow,” he roars in happiness. “Thank you, Lily, I love it!” He puts it down and bear hugs me. “Now, open yours.” He places me back on my feet, and steps back to look at me. I read what’s inside and start to laugh.

“Do you like it?” The look on his face is priceless. I wonder if kids look like this when they give their moms necklaces made out of pasta.

“You’re so cheeky,” I say. Inside is a gift certificate for five ice skating lessons. “Really, cheeky,” I add. “Thank you.” I hug him, too.

“Merry Christmas, Lily.” He kisses the top of my head.

“Merry Christmas, Max.”





This last week has been a complete whirlwind. I gave Shayne and Liam their present and told them to open it Christmas morning, and she called me screaming, saying they can’t wait to use their present. I bought them a four-day vacation to Disneyland, staying at the Disneyland Hotel. They got me an iPad, and said it was for me to read all my books on. Already on it was a copy of Arthur Miller’s, The Crucible. When Max left late on Christmas night, I got into the bath and took my new iPad with me, and I read The Crucible. It was a perfect day.

I also had an extra driving lesson¸ and the instructor thinks I’ll be ready within a week or two to go for my test. So, I’ve increased the lessons to twice a week because I’m anxious to get my license and not rely on others any more. It’s been something I’ve always wanted, but never been allowed to have.

I’ve had another appointment with Katherine, and this hour and a half turned into two hours. I walked out emotionally drained again, and completely exhausted from it. But there was one thing she said to me, and it’s been monopolizing my thoughts. I was describing to her how the beatings only happened when I couldn’t make Trent happy, and she stopped me from saying anything more.

She looked at me in all her seriousness, and said to me, “Stop right there, Lily. Before you go on to say another word, you need to be made aware of something. Something most survivors of domestic abuse take a while to fully comprehend.”

“What’s that?” I asked as I sat on her sofa and watched her curiously.

“You are not responsible for his behavior.”

Those simple words caused an icy chill to goosebump my entire body. From the tips of my toes, to the top of my head, an avalanche of emotions prickled my skin. I couldn’t respond, I couldn’t say a word because at the time her sentence made no sense at all, yet also struck me as to how accurate those words were.

When I was finally able to speak, the only thing I was able to whisper was, “I’m not responsible for his behavior.”

Katherine’s face remained passive as she regarded me, and my reaction to those all-important words. It took me a good portion of the two hours to wrap my head all the way around what Katherine had said, and still, today, on New Year’s Eve, I’m rocked at how significant her words actually are.

As I sit in my room on my computer, an email comes through for me. It’s my very first paid proofreading job, and she wishes me a Happy New Year and tells me her second book will be written by end of January and can she book me in now? She also says in her email, she made top 100 on Amazon, and she’s been asked to go to an author signing in Texas mid-next year.

Quickly, I type out my congratulations, tell her I can do her book and send her an invoice for half. Since I started proofreading, I’ve managed to line up nine books in total, and I’m completely overwhelmed by the positive responses I’ve been receiving from the authors.