Turbulent Desires(4)

Without meaning to, Lindsey flinched back, instantly feeling terrible  when her best friend's eyes shone with hurt, yet understanding.

"I'm sorry," Lindsey mumbled.

"Don't apologize. I get it," Stormy said.

But the reality was that no one could understand what she was going  through. Not even another victim of assault. Each woman's experience was  unique. Lindsey considered herself a strong person, but since the  attack, she couldn't stand to be touched.

Lindsey didn't say anything else to assure Stormy she was okay, because what else could she say? Nothing.

"Are you feeling okay today? You seem a bit paler than normal," Stormy said, but this time she didn't reach for her, thankfully.

"I'm fine. I promise," she said, a bit too loudly and with false  enthusiasm. She winced at the patient look on her best friend's face.         

     



 

"We should make your doctor's appointment. Last week you said your side  was hurting," Stormy said, and Lindsey could see her friend's fingers  twitching as if she wanted to reach out again.

"I don't want anyone looking at it anymore. Even the doctor looking at  the ugly scars . . . I hate it," she said more quietly as she set down  her mug on the tray and got up, pacing the room.

"I just need to do something-anything," Stormy said.

"No. Please just drop it, Stormy," Lindsey begged.

"Lins, it's just me. I've seen the scar, and it doesn't take away even  an ounce of your beauty. You're the strongest woman I've ever known.  Those marks just prove what a survivor you are," Stormy said, but she  stayed where she was and allowed Lindsey time to try to get her breath.

"Stormy, it hurts for me to even look in a mirror," she admitted.

It wasn't easy for her to say. Really, the scaring wasn't that bad. She  was a nurse; she'd seen far worse. The biggest one was about four inches  long and less than a quarter inch wide. Then there were a few smaller  scrapes near it, but the doctor had done a great job. The problem was  that she knew they were there, and they were a reminder of what had  happened. Every time she was reminded, she found panic once again  choking her.

"Lins, I'm not just saying kind words to hear myself talk. You honestly  are beautiful inside and out. And strong-so very strong. If the roles  were reversed, I guarantee you, I wouldn't have made it out of that room  alive."

Lindsey looked at her best friend and saw the truth shining from her  eyes, but it didn't matter. No matter how many times she was assured the  world was still spinning, it didn't help her feel okay. She was  beginning to feel that nothing would ever be okay again.

"I know how much you love me, and I promise I will get back to myself,"  Lindsey began. "But I just need a little more time," she finished.

"I understand that. I want you to take as much time as you need. You're so important to me."

"Just as you are important to me," Lindsey told her.

"How about we get out of here for a while. We could go to the spa," Stormy suggested.

The thought of breaking up her carefully laid-out routine sent a spiral of panic right through her. Dammit! She hated weakness.

"Maybe tomorrow, Stormy. I'm going to do schoolwork today, okay?" she said, hoping her friend wouldn't argue with her.

Stormy looked as if she wanted to, but finally she let out a sigh.

"Okay, Lins. But I'm going to keep bugging you," Stormy assured her.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Lindsey told her.

Though Stormy truly was her best friend, Lindsey found herself counting  down the moments until Stormy left the small cottage. It had become her  sanctuary since Stormy had brought her home.

When Stormy left, Lindsey decided to water the flowers. The sun was  shining and she needed to get outdoors. She couldn't use her fear for  the rest of her life. Eventually, she was going to have to really start  living again.





CHAPTER THREE

Sherman sat on his nephew's back deck and enjoyed the ice tea Stormy had  made for him and his friends. It sure was great to have family-and the  sort of friends who you'd die for were also family in his eyes.

He looked over at Martin Whitman, who hadn't visited in such a long  while. He gave him a look that made Martin chuckle before Sherman even  spoke.

"It's been too long, my friend," Sherman grumbled. "I would think a retired man could get over a bit more."

Martin chuckled. "I could say the same," Martin pointed out.

"Well said," Sherman admitted. "How is the clan over there in Montana?"  he asked, not able to pull off his indignation for too long.

"They couldn't be better. I've still got my youngest to marry off, but  with Joseph's help, my three oldest are happy and giving me grandbabies.  It took the brats long enough to do what they should have done without  prodding, but I got my way," Martin said with a smug smile.

"Yeah, those kids even have the gall to say we're meddling when they  obviously are happier than they've ever been," Joseph Anderson piped in,  taking a long pull off his fragrant cigar.

"Ungrateful, the lot of them," Martin said.

The men sat back for a minute as they relished in their indignation.

"I think I'll go ahead and make a trip that way this summer. I've been  so worried about my lot here I haven't gone far, but they're slowly but  surely growing up. I'm so glad those boys of yours have begun to see the  light. It's been a pleasure to keep up on their progress," Sherman told  him.         

     



 

"We'll go together, my friend," Joseph said. "My last few trips out  there were just wonderful. I've even considered moving there. If my  family weren't so settled here in Seattle, I might just do that, but I  couldn't go even a week without seeing the grandkids. I'd miss them too  much."

"Don't think you're going to leave the girls out of this male bonding  trip. I'm joining you," Evelyn said. "I want to see Bethel and the gang.  We talk on the phone, but it's not the same as visiting in person. I  think my last visit out there was two years ago. My, how the time just  keeps slipping away."

"It would do you some good to get away from these rowdy boys of yours.  Of course, with Cooper settled down and married now, he's a whole new  man," Sherman said with a smile. "Not that he's given any thanks for my  help."

"Our help," Joseph said with a scowl.

"Of course, my friend," Sherman said, grinning.

"No matter how it worked out, I'm just grateful it did. No one needs to  get credit," Evelyn said with a pointed look. "But with Cooper happily  wed, I've been worried about my other boys."

"A little credit would be nice," Joseph said, but the group ignored him as they focused on the latter half of Evelyn's comment.

"Even though those boys of yours have given us trouble through the  years, they've also grown up more than I thought possible in the past  five," Sherman assured her.

"They are as stubborn as their father, aren't they?" Evelyn said with a smile of affection.

"As much as I hate to admit it, that's what makes them such fine men," Joseph assured her.

Sherman's eyes focused across the yard, and the rest of the group looked  over to see what had captured his attention. Lindsey was out in front  of the cottage watering the flowers just starting to come into bloom.

"That poor girl," Sherman said with sadness.

"It's been a year since the attack, but it might as well be yesterday,"  Evelyn said. "I'm very worried about her. Such a sweet girl. What she  went through is too horrible to even fathom."

"I was at the hospital right after it happened. She was traumatized so  badly," Sherman told the group. "She tried going back to her life, but  the nightmares were too much. Finally, Stormy and I talked her into  moving into the cottage. She's gone back to work, and she even gives  that fake smile she thinks is fooling us all, but it doesn't show in her  eyes."

"You and Lindsey have grown quite close," Joseph told his friend.

"I had high hopes of her and Maverick making a go of it a couple years  ago. I saw some definite interest from both of them at Cooper and  Stormy's wedding. But no matter how much poking and prodding I did,  those two didn't fall for it. And then that tragedy happened, and I  didn't want to push her anymore. But I'm worried because it seems she's  given up on life. I don't want her to do that either," Sherman fretted.

"I agree with you, Sherman. She needs to move forward or she might never  get back on her feet again. I know that Maverick sure asks about her a  lot. I haven't ever seen him so concerned about anyone other than  family," Evelyn said.

"Maybe with her needing a shoulder to lean on and Maverick feeling the  need to be a hero, the two might just come together and heal one  another's souls," Martin said.

"Yes, Maverick definitely loves being a hero," Sherman said with a  laugh. "That boy was pretending to be a cop or a knight from the time he  was just a tot."