Thoughtful(208)

I stopped a ways down the hall and looked back. I could see Denny and Kiera through the breaks in the people. They were turned away from me. Denny had his arm around Kiera, and she had her head on his shoulder. Even from this distance, they seemed more like friends giving each other comfort than two people in love saying goodbye.

After a moment, Denny leaned down and gave her a kiss. It was clearly a goodbye kiss, probably the last one they would ever share. Feeling intrusive, I looked down. They should have their moment to end things without me looking on.

When curiosity compelled me to know what was happening, I looked up. Denny was gone, and Kiera was staring down a hallway. I had to assume that’s where he had disappeared to. He was finally gone, and Kiera looked like she might throw up or pass out. Maybe both. My feet were moving toward her before my brain even registered it. Without consciously meaning to be there, I was close beside her when her legs gave out.

I didn’t make it in time to completely catch her as she fell, but I at least saved her head from smacking into one of the seats bolted into the floor. Huddling close to her, I lowered her head to my knees and waited for her to come around. “Kiera?” I said, stroking her back and feeling her flushed face.

She lifted her head slowly, like it was suddenly much heavier than normal. There were still traces of a yellowing bruise near her eye, but it was almost gone, and she was nearly perfect again. No…even with the bruise, she was perfect; always had been, always would be.

We stared at each other in silence for a moment, then she sat up and tossed her arms around my neck. Straddling my knees, she gripped me tight with everything she had. For a brief moment happiness filled me, but then I remembered our distance, remembered that we were through, and the joy turned to acid. I stiffened with the intensity of the pain burning through me…then I relaxed and held her back. I could push the agony away for a moment and enjoy the feel of her in my arms again. Just for a minute.

Rocking us back and forth, I murmured that everything was going to be okay. Kiera cried in my arms while I tenderly rubbed her back and kissed her hair. She was still hiccupping and struggling for breath, but the tears had stopped when I pulled away. Wanting to hold her tighter, I instead pushed her away. It felt wrong to do it, but it was time to end this. Kiera clutched me, not wanting to let me go. It took a lot of willpower, but I eventually released myself from her grasp and stood up.

Kiera peeked up at me, saw the resolution on my face, then shifted her gaze to the floor.

Leaning down, I gently touched the top of her head. When she looked up at me again, I gave her a soft smile. She was so beautiful. “Can you drive?” I asked, remembering how distraught she had been the last time Denny had left on a plane.

I thought she’d say no, but her face shifted from despair to determination, and she gave me a stiff nod. She wanted to get through this on her own. Proud of her, I extended a hand and helped her stand up.

She stumbled as she stood, and braced herself with a hand on my chest, right over my tattoo. I hadn’t removed the bandage yet, and the area was still a smidge on the sore side. I flinched before I could stop myself. Holding my breath, I hoped she didn’t ask what was wrong. But there was so much wrong with this situation that she didn’t ask, and I relaxed.

Removing her hand from my chest, I held her fingers in mine. A part of me never wanted to let go.

Staring into my eyes, her own a heartbroken shade of jade, she murmured, “I’m so sorry, Kellan—I was wrong.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but I didn’t have it in me to ask. Holding her, being next to her, it felt too nice. I needed to get away. My head lowered to hers, hers lifted to mine, and our lips met in a warm, soft kiss. It would be so easy to ask her to take me back, to ask her if we could try again. But I needed more, and all I could hear on a never-ending loop was “Him.”

I made myself break away from the multiple tiny, hungry kisses I was giving her. Not caving in to a full, lengthy kiss made my heart spike, my breath quicken. I wanted her, but that was nothing new. I still couldn’t have her. Dropping her hands, I forced myself to take a step back. “I’m sorry too, Kiera. I’ll see you…around.”

Turning, I got out of there as quickly as I could before my willpower evaporated. I knew I’d just lied to her when I said I’d see her around. The only way Kiera and I would get through this was if we remained apart. She would live her life, I would live mine, and Denny would live his. It was time for all three of us to move on.

If only I could.





Days passed. Then weeks. Then months. My cast was removed, my bruises faded, my cuts vanished. By the look of me, you’d never know I’d had my ass thoroughly kicked. No, there were no more physical reminders of that night’s carnage. But the wound on my heart? That one was still seeping, oozing, and infecting the rest of my body with poisonous toxins that would surely kill me one day. I had become a bitch to be around. Even I knew it.