Thoughtful(174)

Kiera nodded, and we both put that painful conversation aside. There would be time for that later. Right here, right now, my arms around Kiera were all that mattered.

Breaking apart from my lips, Kiera said, “Do you think…? If we had never, that first time…would the three of us just be close friends?”

Interpreting what she meant, I smiled. “If you and I had never gotten drunk and had sex, would we all be living happily ever after right now?” She nodded while I considered that. Remembering how I felt about her back then, and how she had looked at me, I knew the answer almost immediately. “No…you and I were always more than just friends. One way or another, we would have ended up right here anyway.”

Kiera nodded, then looked down to my chest. I stroked her arm and wondered what she was thinking. “Do you regret it?” I finally asked her. Was she wishing we had somehow never come to pass? That was a painful thought, but I suppose I could understand why she would have it.

She looked up at me. “I regret being horrible to Denny.” I nodded and looked away. I could understand that too. I felt the same. Kiera placed a hand on my cheek and made me look at her. “I don’t regret a single second that I spent with you. No time spent with you is wasted.”

Hearing her repeat my line made me smile. So did her answer. She didn’t regret me, just the circumstances surrounding me, surrounding us. I regretted those too, regretted who we were hurting in our path to each other, but I’d never regret her. She was everything to me.

I pulled her lips to mine, then rolled her over so her back was flush to my mattress. We had time before Denny was due home, and as long as she was mine, I was going to enjoy her.





After spending all day in bed with Kiera, it was difficult to leave her. Well, okay, it would have been difficult to leave her regardless, but our amazing afternoon together made it even harder. I wanted to freeze time so nothing between us would change. She had tears in her eyes when I said goodbye. I kissed her eyelids, assuring her that I’d see her at Pete’s. It was Friday after all, and I had a show to do. Life trudged on, whether we wanted it to or not.

When I got to Evan’s for rehearsal, everybody was already there. Matt looked over at me as I walked through the door. “Hey, Kell. Ready to rock?”

I nodded. We didn’t always practice on the nights we played at Pete’s, but I’d asked for a rehearsal tonight. “Let’s run through the new song again.”

Griffin slugged Evan in the shoulder. “This is ’cause of you, isn’t it? Some chick break your heart again?” He shook his head in disgust. “Freaking pansy. You won’t ever catch me mooning over some girl. Plenty of fish, bro. Plenty of fish.”

Evan gave him an amused smile, then raised an eyebrow at me. Like he’d predicted, the guys thought he was the reason behind the song. That worked for me.

While we played the song again, I thought about being wrapped in Kiera’s arms today. It was a perfect moment, and one I was afraid wouldn’t ever happen again. It was hard to imagine never again feeling that connection. It was also hard to imagine sharing her with Denny. The thought of her being intimate like that with him…it made me want to throw up. I pushed that dilemma from my mind. I didn’t want to deal with it yet.

After a quick rehearsal, we made our way to Pete’s. Denny’s Honda was in the parking lot. I was surprised to see it there, and I considered turning around and leaving. I couldn’t though; I had a job to do. Even though it was sooner than I would have liked, I knew I needed to eventually face him. We did live together, after all. I guess tonight was as good a night as any.

He greeted me at the door with a genuine smile; like Kiera, he hadn’t seen me much this week. “Hey, mate. You’ve been a ghost lately. Everything all right?”

I folded one arm around him in a brief hug. My chest was pounding with anxiety, my gut was churning with guilt, but I kept my expression warm and friendly. I could keep my feelings hidden when I needed to. “Yeah…just work stuff. It’s been a little crazy.” I have been such a bastard to you…

“Crazy is good,” Denny said as he started walking toward the band’s table. Heart in my throat, I followed him. “Anything in particular you’re working on?” he asked.

Loving your girlfriend.

I couldn’t tell if he was making small talk, or if he was curious for a different reason. Choosing to believe he was clueless about Kiera and me, I smiled and said, “Matt’s trying to get us lined up for a festival next year. And, on top of that, he wants to soundproof Evan’s loft so we can record a demo. It’s quite a process.”