The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(61)

Audrey refused to believe that a daughter of hers could be anything but perfect. Alicia would sob in her arms, whimpering pathetically that her father was a beast and that she didn’t love him at all, only her mother, whom she adored and with a trembling hand she’d wipe away those crocodile tears, that when needed, came as fast and easily as the garden sprinkler. Audrey would hold her little girl close and remember those nine months of carrying her and promise that she would talk to her father and the teachers and explain that she was just an exuberant, well-intentioned child who was simply too young to control such a formidable nature. Audrey maintained that with a bit of discipline Alicia would develop into an exceptional young woman. But the problem only worsened. They were forced to take her out of school and find a new one. Audrey blamed the teachers, Cecil blamed Alicia and Alicia blamed everyone but herself.

Leonora suffered because of her sister’s rebelliousness. She too had to change schools. She cried genuine tears because she missed her friends and her favourite teacher, Miss Amy, who was deeply fond of the sweet little girl who never arrived at school empty-handed but came armed with a piece of fruit, a bunch of flowers or a slice of cake to place shyly on her teacher’s desk. She still climbed into her mother’s bed for comfort, shunting her father back into the dressing room where his own bed was still warm from those early years of exile. Finally Cecil realized that there was only one thing to be done, and he was going to be most unpopular for suggesting it.

‘I want to discuss the girls’ education with you,’ he said to his wife one evening, pouring himself a glass of brandy. It was wintertime; the days were short, gobbled up into the nights that descended early and without warning. The twins were in bed wrapped in blankets and their mother’s unconditional love while outside it was cold and blustery and hostile. Audrey smiled at her husband and put down her book.

‘I think Alicia’s settling nicely into her new school and Leonora is accepting that nothing in life stays the same. A valuable lesson, I believe,’ she replied happily.

‘I disagree. There’s only one thing that will sort Alicia out and teach her to respect her elders.’

‘What might that be?’

Cecil hesitated because he knew that what he was about to suggest would ignite a terrible row and he hated the thought of upsetting his wife. He braced himself then fixed her with his pale blue eyes and said quickly and decisively, ‘I want them to have a proper English education.’

Audrey froze. For a moment she lost her mind. She just stared at him in disbelief, crushed by her husband’s insensitivity and unable to find the words to object.

‘A proper English education?’ she mumbled finally after a long and awkward pause.

‘An English education, in England,’ he said and watched her features contort. ‘The education is simply not good enough here,’ he continued, unable to meet her eyes that blinked back at him in terror. ‘I think they should board at Colehurst House where my sister Cicely went. There’s nothing in the world like an English education.’

‘They’re children,’ she replied slowly in a strangled voice. ‘They’re six years old.’

‘Oh, good God, I’m not suggesting we send them away now. No, no, my dear, they won’t go until they’re ten. I wouldn’t spring something like this on you out of the blue.’

‘Ten?’ She pulled her cardigan about her shoulders. Gathering together her wits she added slowly and carefully, ‘You can’t do this to me, Cecil. I won’t let you.’ She knew of a few families who sent their children away to be educated in England and when they came back they were strangers with new mannerisms, new accents, new expressions. She wouldn’t allow it.

‘I feared you would take it badly. I’ve been meaning to discuss this with you for some time.’

‘I see,’ she replied with forced calmness while trying desperately to keep her balance. ‘Cecil, how could you conceive of wrenching away the two people I love more than anyone else in the world?’

Cecil turned his face away. He looked bleakly out of the window. Women are so emotional, he thought, perhaps I’ve approached this the wrong way. Then he sighed heavily, and decided on a different tack.

‘It is my duty as a father to do what’s best, Audrey. I don’t want to send them away any more than you do, but one has to think of their future.’ His voice was firmer now. She imagined that was the tone he had once used in the army.

‘The English schools here are perfectly adequate. Am I ill educated?’ She glared at him now with fury.