The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(59)

‘Twins!’ he exclaimed in amazement.

She nodded and her eyes brimmed with tears. ‘This is the happiest day of my life, Cecil.’ She whispered, for the sound of her voice would surely spoil the divine nature of the moment. ‘I feel whole again, as if I’ve completed a circle, as if with the birth of our daughters I’ve come to terms with Isla’s death. For the first time in years I don’t feel pain.’ She spoke with such passion that her eyes shone. Cecil was afraid to look into them because the light that burned behind them was unfamiliar. Audrey withdrew and gazed upon the two beings who had suddenly given her life meaning. Then she held her hand out and Cecil took it. Once again her future was painted with the colour of love.





PART TWO





Chapter 12



The years that followed were swallowed up in the laughter and sunshine of family life so that Audrey was barely aware of the rapid passing of time. Her children brought her much happiness and forged a bridge between herself and Cecil where they were able to meet with total understanding. Cecil recaptured that lightness of being he had so wished for and Audrey’s ghosts were locked away with the candles. Rose and Edna applauded the twins regardless of whether they deserved praise or not while Hilda quietly smouldered in the shadows of her bitterness resenting her own daughters for not being pretty and charming and married with children.

Cecil found his wife again; the nights were no longer filled with the doleful music of the piano, but with hours free to love each other in, and Audrey, for whom physical intimacy with her husband had been at the best of times little more than a duty, discovered that a new tenderness had grown up between them. She opened her heart and noticed, to her surprise, that there was a place for him there. It had been wrong of her to constantly compare him to the brother who had created sparks just by looking at her. That kind of magic surely wouldn’t have lasted. Besides, she had chosen to marry Cecil and now with hindsight she could appreciate that it had most certainly been for the best. She was happy. Who knows how much unhappiness Louis would have brought?

Audrey was able to enjoy her babies for Emily Harris, an English nurse shipped over from Brighton, stayed with them for the first couple of years and it was she who suffered broken nights and the exhaustion that comes from the heavy responsibility of caring for infant twins. When she left she was a smaller, greyer version of the rosy young woman who had appeared starched in uniform on their doorstep, full of enthusiasm and energy. As much as she had grown to love the twins, Emily found Alicia uncontrollable and the child sapped her of her juices until she had precious little left for herself. She knew that unless she quit she would grow old before her time, gathering dust on the shelf. She could barely get herself up in the morning let alone go out in her free time and meet people. She missed Leonora dreadfully but she was pleased not to have to deal with Alicia’s tantrums and demands any longer.

When it came to her children, Audrey’s love was without limits. Sometimes she would collapse into tears beneath the sheer weight of her gratitude and silently thank God for giving her little girls who would love and support each other as she and Isla had. Cecil was a good father, albeit a detached one. He earned well in her father’s company and saw to it that his daughters had everything they needed. He wasn’t a demonstrative man like his brother for whom touch was as vital as oxygen. Cecil showed his affection with the occasional pat on the back, with a willingness to read bedtime stories and a keen interest in their education. He took great care to ensure that the girls’ future was secure while their mother lived only in the present.

Leonora belonged to her mother. Alicia belonged to herself. After Emily Harris left Leonora had cleaved to Audrey, crying hysterically when she was parted from her. If it hadn’t been for Alicia’s cool independence Audrey would have gone mad with anxiety for she couldn’t have taken both girls to her bed at night. But Alicia could sleep anywhere, needing nothing but a nightdress and a mattress – provided the nightdress was smoothed out under her body, for creases made her uncomfortable and furious. This gave Audrey the opportunity to rock Leonora in her arms until the child fell into a contented slumber, her pale face nestled happily against her mother’s bosom. Cecil strongly opposed his wife bringing their daughter into their bed, but he was powerless to prevent it, for it seemed as if she was incapable of being on her own. Reluctantly Cecil moved into his dressing room leaving the marital bed free for mother and child, to return on weekends when he insisted that Leonora be put into her own bed, even if it meant that she cried herself into a restless sleep.