The Forget-Me-Not Sonata(62)

Cecil lit a cigar and stood in front of the fire. ‘Your education was adequate, yes, for your day. But times are different now. The war has changed everything, not least women’s place in society. Alicia is headstrong and wilful. They simply can’t cope with her over here. She runs riot and if we don’t instil in her some sense of discipline she’ll turn into an exceedingly unattractive young woman. I’m afraid it affects Leonora too because we can’t separate them, and besides, an English education will do them both good. Leonora will benefit, gain a bit of independence and confidence. She’s far too attached to you.’ He looked directly at his wife and added, ‘It is the greatest gift that we can bestow on them. An English education is priceless.’

‘For goodness’ sake, Cecil,’ she protested. ‘I would pay whatever it cost not to send them overseas.’

‘The future lies in England. I didn’t plan on staying here all my life, you knew that.’

‘Are you suggesting we move to England?’

‘Not now, no, but perhaps one day. I don’t rule it out.’

‘But I want to be here, Cecil. I want my children to be here. We belong in the Argentine. I will not be separated from them. I will not.’ Her voice rose until she was aware that she was shouting.

‘Calm down, Audrey, and try to think rationally. Look at it from their point of view. You do want what’s best for them, don’t you? Or do you just want what’s best for you?’

‘I’m their mother. I’m what’s best for them,’ she exclaimed hotly. ‘Oh, Cecil, I can’t believe you would make such a heartless suggestion. What’s come over you? Why do you want to tear our family apart?’

‘My dear . . .’ he began, but Audrey was too frantic to listen.

‘I will not let you. Do you understand? You will have to kill me first!’ she declared then added before she ran out of the room, ‘I will never forgive you.’

Cecil was left alone in front of the fire contemplating his wife’s reaction. He hadn’t expected her to take it that badly, after all, it wasn’t unusual for Anglo-Argentines to send their children to be educated abroad. School in England, finishing school in Switzerland, it taught them self-reliance, shaped them into independent, fearless young people. It prepared them for the real world. As much as he would have liked to appease his wife he was slightly irritated at her blinkered view of her children. Alicia was a problem but Audrey wouldn’t see it that way. To her the twins were little angels whose wings were left at the marble gates of Heaven for them to pick up on their return. She didn’t doubt that they were special and different and anyone who had a bad word to say about Alicia was plainly jealous. No, Cecil was determined to stand by his decision.

Audrey hadn’t played the piano for a long long time. But now she lifted the lid and sat with a straight back on the worn tapestry stool, placing her feet lightly on the pedals. The tears fought their way through her knitted eyelashes and trembled on her chin before falling onto the ivory keys, which now translated into music the pain in her soul. With the releasing of her emotions came the long repressed memories of Louis, dragged up out of the shadowy corners of her mind, dusted off so that his face was as vivid to her now as if she had seen him yesterday beneath the umbrella of the cherry tree in the orchard in Canning Street. She pictured his sandy hair, always unbrushed and tousled, his intense blue eyes with their distant and wandering gaze, his full lips and crooked smile that she had kissed so many times and his long, pale fingers that twitched nervously by his side as if constantly touching the keys of an imaginary piano. Her heart yearned for him now with such intensity that the piano began to shudder beneath the weight of her tormented spirit. She had lost Isla and she had lost Louis, now she was on the verge of losing her children. She felt powerless. But the music had a soothing effect. She swayed on her stool, slowly moved her head from side to side, breathed deeply from the pit of her abdomen and let the anchor that attached her mind to reality lose its grip and release her into the limitless world of dreams.





Chapter 13



Audrey now faced the toughest challenge of her life. Outwardly she had to support her husband when inwardly her resentment grew like a tumour on her heart. She clung to her daughters with the determination of a drowning woman, living every moment of every week, month and year as if each day were her last. England loomed on the horizon growing bigger and blacker like the dark spray of a waterfall as the inevitable force of time carried her and her children towards it and their certain doom. Yet, she knew the only way to lessen the shock of their imminent future was to talk about England and boarding school as if it were the quaint land of rolling green hills and old-fashioned villages, of Angela Brazil’s novels about schoolgirls and teams, midnight feasts and adventure. She was so brilliant at weaving a colourful tapestry that even Leonora was gripped with excitement and longed to be ten.