The Butterfly Box(195)

‘Right,’ said Federica, wondering how he did feel about their mother.

‘And I couldn’t talk to your stepfather either. Hal’s funny about him too.’ ‘Okay.’

‘He speaks very highly of you, though,’ she said. ‘I found your number in his book. No one answered the London number.’

‘I see,’ she mumbled, trying not to think about Torquil. ‘What’s up with Hal?’

‘He’s an alcoholic,’ she stated. ‘He needs help. He’s in a right mess.’

‘What?’ said Federica, appalled. ‘What sort of mess?’

‘He misses all his lectures, sleeps all day, drinks all night. He’s barely there at all, you know, he’s out of it.’

‘Are you sure he’s an alcoholic?’

‘Yes, I am. I know because I’ve been paying for his drink and his gambling for the last few months.’

‘Gambling?’

‘You know, fruit machines, poker, horses. I’ve paid for it all.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I’m in love with him,’ she replied in shame. ‘He doesn’t have any money and I have lots. But it’s got out of hand. He’s drinking too much. He’s changed.’

‘Where is he now?’

‘He’s here asleep.’

‘At this hour?’

‘Yes, you see he stays up drinking all night, then he can’t get to sleep so he takes sleeping pills, lots of them. Then he can’t wake up. It’s like he’s dead.’ She stammered and her voice quivered with emotion. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she sniffed.

‘Oh God!’ Federica sighed. ‘What can we do?’

‘He needs help.’

‘I can see that. I’m coming up. But I’ll have to bring someone with me,’ she said, remembering that she couldn’t drive.

Sam was only too happy to drive Federica to Exeter. They talked all the way about the options open to them. But Sam was adamant that the drink was only the symptom of an illness which lay far deeper. ‘He drinks to hide from himself,’ he said wisely.

‘It all leads back to Papa,’ Federica sighed. ‘I just know it.’

When they found Hal lying asleep on his bed, his face sallow and lifeless, Federica began to shake him violently, fearing that he was dead and not asleep at

all. When he woke up his eyes were bloodshot and distant. Not the Hal she knew at all. Sam looked around the room at the squalor he lived in.

Cigarettes were stubbed out on dirty plates which still bore the remains of greasy fry-ups, empty wine glasses and coffee cups lay collecting dust, clothes were strewn around the floor, mildewing from neglect and damp. The room smelt worse than the rabbit hutch that Hester had once had as a child.



‘Hal, you’re sick,’ Federica said kindly.

‘Go away and leave me alone!’ he cried, thrashing out with his arms. ‘I don’t need you to come and lecture me.’

‘I care about you, Hal. Look at the state you’re in. You live like an animal.’



‘It’s not so bad,’ he protested.

‘It’s terrible. You need help,’ she said.

‘I’m fine,’ he insisted.

‘You’re an alcoholic,’ she stated bluntly.

‘I drink occasionally. So does everyone. That hardly qualifies me as an alcoholic,’ he said sarcastically.

Then Claire stepped forward out of the shadows. ‘I told her everything, Hal,’ she said, wiping the tears from her face.

He stared at her a moment, blinking her into focus. Then his face twisted in defeat. ‘You bitch,’ he spat.

‘It’s because I love you that I can’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself.'

Hal put his head into his hands and wept.

Hal allowed Sam and Federica to take him home. Claire said that she would pack up his things and sort out his room. Federica thanked her gratefully but knew that Hal would probably never want to see her again. He sat in the back of the car shaking with cold and discomfort, his skin an unhealthy pale green colour - he looked as if he already had one foot in the morgue. Federica and Sam decided that they would keep the nature of his illness secret in order not to upset his family. They agreed to say that he had had a nervous breakdown. Federica knew that he needed to get away, start again somewhere else, far from Helena’s possessive love and the horror of his own demons.

‘I’m going to take Hal to Chile,’ she told Sam.

‘When?’ Sam exclaimed in alarm.

‘As soon as possible. He needs to leave the country for a while. There’s only one person who can help him through this, because he helped me through my