The Butterfly Box(191)

‘What happened?’ he asked, taking off his coat and sitting on the sofa. He felt very hot. He struggled out of his father’s holey jersey and sat in his blue shirt with the cuffs undone and hanging loosely on his wrists.

‘Oh, it’s a long story,’ she said, sipping the Bordeaux and feeling a lot better.

‘Mol, hand me a glass,’ he said, cheering up. ‘Fede, you’re so strong. I’m so proud of you. What you’ve done is the most difficult thing in the world. You’ve done it all by yourself.’

‘Not entirely,’ she replied. Sam looked away. ‘Let’s just say that my eyes have been opened. I suppose I’ve grown up a bit. I can’t believe I’ve been so blinkered and so weak. I’ve wasted four years of my life.’

‘Nothing is ever wasted, Fede, you’ve learned a great deal about human nature but above all about yourself,’ he said wisely. Then he changed the subject. ‘What are you going to do now?’

‘I’m going home. Mama and I are going to be a right pair.’

‘Yes, we heard about that,’ said Hester. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘She’s a fool,’ Federica sighed. They all frowned at her sudden change of attitude, her opinion of her stepfather was well known.

‘I thought you despised Arthur?’ Molly interjected, flicking ash onto the carpet.

‘Let’s say I misunderstood him. Everything’s much clearer now,’ she grinned at Sam. ‘I owe him an apology. Someone else I didn’t listen to when I should have.’

Sam acknowledged her with a small smile. ‘I’ll accompany you on the train if you like,’ he suggested.

Federica nodded at him gratefully. ‘Would you?’ She sighed in relief. ‘I’d feel so much better. I’m terrified he’ll find me and try to drag me back.’

‘I’ll bloody kill him if he comes anywhere near you,’ he said, then chuckled for he didn’t want her to know that he really meant it.

That night Federica and Sam barely slept. They sat up drinking and talking long after Flester and Molly had retired to bed. She unburdened her worries and her secrets to him and he listened with sympathy as he had done that day in the bluebells. ‘I wish I had had the courage to tell you that time we had lunch,’ she said.

‘You so nearly did.’

‘I know.’

‘What frightened you?’ he asked gently.

She thought about it for a while, watching the golden flames of the gas fire springing cheerfully in the grate. ‘I didn’t realise I was unhappy,’ she said truthfully and shook her head in disbelief. ‘I know it sounds mad, but I couldn’t

admit it to myself. I believed I loved him.’

‘It doesn’t sound mad at all.’

‘Doesn’t it?’

‘No,’ he said, and took her hand. ‘You weren’t wrong to love him. He was wrong to abuse your love.’

She grinned at him fondly. ‘You understand everything so well.’

‘Not everything,’ he replied. ‘Just you.’

The following morning Federica borrowed clothes from Hester. She was just pulling on a pair of jeans when Molly shrieked from the sitting room. ‘Oh God!’ she shouted. ‘God, God, God.’ They all ran to the window. ‘No, Fede, not you,’ she said, blocking her way. ‘He’s there! Waiting for you,’ she hissed. ‘He’s seen me looking.’

Federica paced the room. Molly pulled the curtain back and peered out at the handsome man who stood beside his Porsche with his arms crossed miserably in front of him.

‘Shit, what am I going to do?’ she said nervously, biting her thumb again. Sam perched on the arm of the sofa. ‘I’ll book a cab and we’ll leave

together,’ he stated decisively, picking up the telephone. ‘It’s simple.’

‘I don’t think I can face him.’

‘Of course you can. You had the strength to leave him, didn’t you?’ he insisted. ‘So you can find the strength to tell him it’s over.’

‘I don’t think I can.'

‘You can and you will,’ he said seriously. ‘Or I’ll do it for you.’

‘You’ve gone this far, Fede, you can’t back out now,’ Flester agreed.

‘.' certainly wouldn’t want to go home to a sodden carpet and a furious husband,’ Molly said. ‘However handsome he is.’

Sam rolled his eyes and ordered the cab. ‘Just think about what you’d be going back to,’ he said carefully. He held his breath as she walked up and down the room, her hands on her hips, deliberating her next move. Then he added simply, ‘Fede, do you like the person you are when you’re with Torquil?’ She looked at him with fearful eyes and shook her head. ‘Well, cast her aside then and come with me.’ He stood up and took both her hands in his. ‘You know you’re doing the right thing.’