The Boy Who Knew Me When(36)

And the tears began to fall, my sniffling and blubbering increasing as I nodded “yes”. Brandon pulled me across the seat of the truck and into his arms. He cried into my hair and I soaked through his Old navy t-shirt. We were both an emotional disaster.

“I promise, I promise!” I sobbed.

We sat in each other’s arms until the crying stopped and we both felt safe knowing that we would never be completely apart, no matter what came between us.

“Come on, I’ll walk you in. Mom can wait. Besides Brea will have my hide if I don’t say goodbye.”

I laughed at the truthfulness of his statement and we both climbed out of the driver side of the car, walking up to the apartment talking about how paranoid Brea could get. He never once called me baby and he never reached for my hand. We were friends and nothing more.

We stumbled into the apartment laughing at the fact that I had just cussed out my keys after trying to open the door with the wrong one and we both stopped short at the sight of Ford asleep on the couch. Brea walked out of the kitchen holding a cup of coffee, and bounced up to us, her bare breasts flopping freely under her baby blue tank top.

“I told him to go home but he was pretty stubborn about insisting he be here when you got back. He fell asleep about an hour ago.”

I heard Brandon shut the door behind me. He was no longer smiling, his face was empty and I could no longer tell what was gong through his head. I moved my body forward while Brea stepped back to Brandon taking his hand and squeezing it to reassure him.

“Is that him?” I heard him whisper to Brea.

“Yup!”



I knelt down in front of this big beautiful sleeping man and smiled in awe. He had fallen asleep sitting up, nuzzled into the couch pillow with his head resting on the palm of his hand. He looked like an angel; he seemed so peaceful that you could never imagine him being plagued by a life of suffering. I placed a hand to his knee and he awoke with a jerk.

“Hi,” I spoke softly afraid he might float away at the sound of my voice..

He let out a long breath that sounded as if he had been holding it in for hours.

“Jemma? Am I dreaming?” My smile widened.

I shook my head “No” and suddenly everyone in the room disappeared around us. Ford pulled me up off the floor and took my place kneeling before me. He pulled me closer to him pushing his head in the pit of my stomach.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. Tell me you forgive me?”

Forgive him? What was there to forgive? And then I remembered full well what there was to forgive only it was not Ford who should be pleading. I fell to the ground, falling right through the hole in the arms wrapped around me and met his stare.

“There is nothing to forgive you for Ford; Brea told me all about Heather.” I said.

“Julian” He whispered. “Please Jemma, call me Julian. I am Julian with you, I’m not Ford, he ain’t real sweet heart, and you make me real.”

A knot rose in the pit of my stomach. He has always been Julian to me as well but I wanted to respect his wishes to be called Ford even when I struggled to get the words out. He put his hands to my cheeks.

“I know about Axel, sweetheart.” He took a moment to look into my eyes, looking for assurance that I was listening to him. “I know and I don’t care one damn bit about it. As far as I am concerned it didn’t happen.”

He then pulled my face to his and kissed my lips. Our tongues became a tangled mess of love and lust. When we heard the door slam we struggled to pull away, only doing so when we both remembered that Brandon and Brea were still in the room. My first thought was that Brandon had gotten angry and left but that wasn’t the case. Brea had opened and slammed the door to get our attention.

Remembering our manners Julian and I stood up off the floor. A quick glance toward Brandon and I knew the pain the scene that played out had caused him but he had not moved an inch. I felt a sudden jab in my heart and wanted to run to him but Julian’s hand took mine into his and I refused to let go. I looked to Julian and he walked with me over to where Brandon and Brea were left standing.

Julian extended his hand out to Brandon. For a moment I could see the doubt dancing around in his head but being the gentleman he has always been he extended his as well.

“Julian, you must be Brandon?”

Brandon shook his hand but made no comment; instead he dismissed Julian and stepped towards me putting his hand to my locket as he kissed me on the forehead. He then turned to Julian in defeat, stood up straight, mumbled “Take care of her.” and disappeared.

At Brandon’s leave Brea seemed to come alive “Brandon, wait a sec.” she yelled and made her own disappearing act following Brandon out of the room. I stayed by Julian’s side. It was time for Brea to do whatever it was Brea did for Brandon; it was time for her to hold him up. No matter the promises we had made, once again I had broken his heart. This time around there was no confusion. We both knew were we stood, where I did anyway.