The Boy Who Knew Me When(16)

“We usually only do that for the kiddos but y’all looked like y’all were in need of some smiles this mornin’,” the gray haired waitress gave Ford a wink and walked off letting us know to “Just holler if you need anything”.

Putting the serious conversation aside we gobbled down our pancakes sharing stories from our very different high school experiences and Ford filled me in about his frat brothers. I learned that at one point he had wanted to join the Army but in the end decided to go to college. His mom and dad had met on Austin’s University of Texas campus and it was always a dream of his dad that he would follow in the footsteps of old white and orange. He said that he felt it was a way to keep their memory alive.

“I try so hard to forget that day and focus on the good stuff, you know? So I figured, I would come here, get my degree and eventually I might join the police department or something. I haven’t completely made that decision yet. I’m not quite sure I could handle ever walking into a scene like the one in Dallas.”

I watched him in awe as he played with a stray chocolate chip. He seemed so strong but I could see the broken boy that was hiding behind that strength.

“So,” he said, putting his fork down and meeting my eyes. “How are your parents holding up?”

Choking I dropped my fork and knocked my half full cup of coffee all over my lap.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” I panicked feeling the vomit rising into my mouth and I was overcome with the need to run.

I had not spoken about my parents to anyone but Brea and Brandon since I had decided to quit therapy. Brea was there when it all happened and it took me two years with Brandon to open up about the incident surrounding my parents’ upheaval from my life. A part of me wanted so badly to share everything with this boy who knew me when but I couldn’t bear to bring that world into this one.

Shakily I jumped up from the table, “I have to go, I have an appointment that completely slipped my mind. I’m so sorry Ford.”

Ford tried to run after me but the chair from the person sitting next to us was blocking his side of the booth so I was able to make a quick exit. Once outside I ran and didn’t stop until I slammed the door of my apartment behind me.

“Jesus, are you fucking OK?” Brea shouted as she came running out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and a mouth covered in toothpaste.

Not being able to say a single word, I bobbed my head up and down before bending over in an effort to catch my breath. I was seriously out of shape; my next stop definitely had to be the apartment gym.

“Oh girl, hold on a sec.” Brea ran back into the bathroom and came back wrapped in her hot pink robe with a freshly clean mouth.

“Do I need to kick someone’s ass?” She put her hand on my back and walked me over to the couch grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen counter as we walked by.

We both sat, she popped the lid and told me to drink. “Was it that guy from last night? What did he do to you Jem?” I took a big gulp from the water bottle and shook my head back and forth at her still trying to catch my breath.

“Nothing, he was great…” I huffed. “It was all me Brea, you are not going to believe what happened. I don’t know what to make of it myself. But last night, was hands down the greatest night of my life.”

Brea excused herself insisting that we would talk once her bare crotch wasn’t rubbing into the terry cloth of her robe. I have to give it to her, Brea was definitely the poster child for too much information.

Fifteen minutes later, after I composed myself and she was dressed I filled her in on everything that happened the night before. Omitting only the raunchy stuff like how his dick turned purple for a split second while the wetness pumped out of him and how his tongue felt rubbing along my walls and over my sensitive heat. Some things were better left to the imagination. Of course it didn’t mean that my mind didn’t silently fill in those details.

“When he asked about my parents I broke Brea, I couldn’t bear it. What am I going to do? I have to see him again. I have to!” She rubbed her hand up and down my arms like I was freezing and she was trying to warm me up.

“It’s OK, Jem, just show up at the house and tell him what happened. It’s been so long since you told anyone about it. If anyone could understand it would be him.”

I truly wanted to tell him but how do you tell someone your dad put a bullet in your moms head and was rotting away in the nut house? My mother and father were two people that he loved as well and I was scared the revelation would be like losing his own parents all over again.

Suddenly there was an urgent knock on the door and Brea jumped up to answer it. Looking out the peep hole she turned my way and without peeling her eyes from my face she opened the door. Standing on the other side was Ford who caught sight of me the moment the door opened. He stepped inside walking over to where I was now standing, barely paying mind to the fact Brea was glaring at him.