The Birds and the Bees(20)

‘I don't know how he'll react if Matthew and I don't get back together, Cath. He takes disappointment so badly.'

Catherine gave her a comforting tap tap on the shoulder. ‘All kids take  disappointment badly, Steve. It's not just Danny; he's a normal little  kid with little kid funny little ways. Some carry comfort blankets, some  suck their thumbs, sleeves or collars – it's what they do at four. You  are a GOOD MOTHER. He gets more love and attention from you than most  kids do with two parents, and if the worst happens, he'll cope. He'll  have to, and so will you.'

Catherine knew, of course, what was mostly on her friend's troubled mind  as she continued, ‘Stevie, he didn't know Mick and he hardly got used  to Matthew. He won't be damaged.'

‘But he asks me, if his daddy loved him, why did he die and leave him?  Then he'll see that another man who supposedly loved him has left him  too. It's laying down a pattern for him. He'll be in therapy by the time  he's six, thinking he's been rejected by two fathers.' Stevie suddenly  stamped her foot as a bubble of frustration burst inside her. ‘You know,  I'm really angry at Matthew for putting Danny through this more than I  am for myself. All the time we were living together, supposedly happily  becoming a family, he was carrying on with her. Didn't it even cross his  mind that Danny was getting closer to him every day and would get  hurt?'                       
       
           



       

‘Well, blokes don't think past their dicks half the time,' said  Catherine, ‘and we don't know when they started getting it together, do  we? I'm sure Matthew wouldn't have moved you in if he wasn't serious  about you, which makes me think it's a pretty recent thing so there's a  good chance it will be like a cheap firework and die quickly. Good news  you're getting angry, though. It's far more healing than getting upset.'

‘Thanks for helping me out so much and for having Danny, Cath.'

‘Don't be daft, he's no trouble at all – it's just one more plate on the  table for me. In fact, the kids behave better when he's here. Outsiders  divert them from killing each other. Anyway, I think I owe you a few,  after all you've done for me in your time.'

Catherine's family, close as they purported themselves to be, were never  that keen on helping in practical ways. Before Kate was old enough to  extort massive babysitting fees in exchange for the job, it had been  Stevie who looked after them sometimes, to give Catherine and Eddie a  few hours' break together. It had been Stevie who did most of the  vacuuming and washing and ironing in the background when Catherine's  babies arrived, whilst the relatives were sitting on their fat backsides  drinking tea and cooing. Catherine never forgot that.

‘Matthew's coming round later when Danny goes to bed,' said Stevie. ‘He  came after me yesterday and caught me up in the foyer, just before I got  my taxi home.'

Catherine stopped mid-pour. ‘Did he say what for?'

‘No, he just made arrangements to come over and then disappeared. How  were they after I'd gone?' She knew Matthew hadn't been slaughtered en  route back to the table because she'd checked the local news on Ceefax  first thing that morning and there was no mention of ‘Mad Highland  Nutter Axeman Kills Love Rival at Wedding'.

‘Much the same,' said Catherine, plonking the biscuits in front of Stevie. ‘They were just talking, nothing else.'

‘Did they leave together?'

Catherine didn't answer, which answered the question anyway.

Stevie sighed heavily. ‘Do you know, one minute I think he might be  coming round to tell me he doesn't want me to move out, and then the  next … I mean, if they left together, that means it's still on between  them, doesn't it? He's not alone at that B&B, is he?' Oy, you, think  positive! reminded her inner mantra, but it was so very difficult.

‘I don't know, Steve, but there's no point in driving yourself barmy  speculating; you'll have to wait and see what he has to say. Have you  eaten? You hardly had a thing yesterday.' She pushed the biscuits almost  up Stevie's still-tender nose.

‘I've not got much appetite. I went into the supermarket first thing  this morning to see if I could find anything to tempt it back, and only  bumped straight into that flaming man MacLean again, didn't I.'

‘Didn't have anything embarrassing in your trolley, did you?' Catherine  laughed gently. ‘Like a monster pack of All Bran and loads of toilet  rolls.'

‘Worse,' said Stevie.

‘Oh God, no! Not pile cream!'

‘Not even close.'

‘What?'

‘Only the world's largest cucumber.'

‘No!' Catherine let loose a peal of horrified laughter.

‘His trolley was so full of booze the wheels were nearly flat. Typical piss-head Scot.'

‘A cucumber! NO! Did he say anything? Sorry!' she apologized for not  being able to control herself. She was shaking with laughter.

‘Yes, he made some crack about "adjusting to single life quickly".'

‘NO!'

‘Then he forced me to listen to his advice that I should play this exactly the opposite to what Matthew might expect of me.'

‘That's what you're doing, isn't it?'

‘Yes,' said Stevie, ‘but I'm a woman and he probably doesn't think I  have the capacity for such logical thought. Chauvinistic butt-ugly  thug.'

‘Actually … ' began Catherine, then snapped off what she was going to say.

‘What?'

‘Nothing.'

‘Oh go on, say it.'

‘You'll hate me if I do.'

‘Try me.'

‘Well, Eddie thought he seemed a nice bloke,' said Catherine tentatively. ‘Genuine.'

‘Oh, come on, Cath, he's bound to have developed a super-charm gland,  looking like that,' said Stevie with a mirthless laugh. ‘Otherwise he  couldn't have pulled someone who looked like Joanna. Think about it.'                       
       
           



       

‘I thought he was quite attractive close up,' said Catherine,  ‘especially with all that hair off. And he has fabulous legs. Bet his  thighs are … '

‘Stop, you're making me ill.'

‘He was looking after all the old relatives. He seemed to know all the steps to the dances.'

‘It's something he'll have learned in the Highlands. It's how they  unwind after biting the heads off live Sassenachs for breakfast. Hitler  probably knew a few swanky moves. Apparently he could be quite charming  too.'

‘You're being silly now.'

‘I don't like him,' said Stevie. ‘You won't convince me he's a really nice bloke.'

For once, Catherine didn't try. The last person she had said was a  ‘really nice bloke' was Matthew, and look how that seemed to have turned  out.





Chapter 18




Danny was tired out and asleep by half past seven, which left one and a  half hours of absolute nerve-jangling torture in which the hands of the  clock seemed to stay so still that at one point Stevie lifted it to her  ear to see if it was still working. The time went trebly slow from nine  o'clock until five past, when Matthew's black Punto pulled up outside.  For the seven millionth time, Stevie quickly checked her precisely  chosen casual clothes in the mirror and looked to see that there was no  lipstick on her teeth. Matthew knocked on the door, which indicated a  big marker of their estrangement, and Stevie was careful not to jump too  quickly to open it. Slowly, slowly, she paced herself. She opened,  smiled, invited him in and then went to sit in the big winged armchair.

Adam's words suddenly reverberated very loudly in her head. ‘Play it  exactly the opposite tae how he'd expect you tae behave.' Not that she  was going to play it any other way, but he made her push it that one  notch further. Matthew would have expected her to be tarted up to the  nines ready to seduce him back. He would have expected her to sit on the  sofa in the hope that he would join her and not be able to resist  snuggling up. He would have expected her to have the kettle on and offer  him tea, so she did none of those things.

‘What can I do for you?' said Stevie with a small smile.

‘Well, firstly I came to see if there was any post,' said Matthew.

‘It's on the hall table waiting for you,' said Stevie, still clinging on for grim death to her friendly nice-lady smile.

‘And secondly … ' He raked his hand through his thick dark hair. ‘Sorry,  it's a bit awkward. I thought you should know, because I don't want  there to be any lies between us' – which made Stevie gulp down the biggest  sarcastic laugh her voice box could hope to create – ‘I … er … asked Joanna  out last night.'