The Arrangement Anthology 1(135)

Marty measures something and sets it aside. I write down the number on our worksheet. He glances at me quickly and goes back to work. He’s been so tense lately. The other night when he picked me up in Babylon was weird. It was the only night that I didn’t have nightmares. I wonder if it was him—if it was Marty that chased the dreams away. But that’s silly. I’m staring at the side of his face.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“The other night, when you picked me up in front my parents’ house, I wanted to ask you something. It’s bothering me, because I don’t really remember. I was kind of out of it.”

He nods and looks up at me. Marty is wearing clear goggles. He pulls them off. His gaze lifts and he looks over my shoulder at the girl working alone and then back at me. “What do you want to know?”

I lean in and lower my voice, knowing that it’ll sound wrong if I’m overheard. “Did you sleep with me? I mean, you were in the bed with me?” Marty’s eyes lock with mine. My stomach dips and goose bumps cover my arms and tickle the back of my neck. I swallow hard, trying to force that feeling back down. Ignoring it, I blink like I inhaled too many lab chemicals and smile at him. “It’s the only night I didn’t dream…well, have nightmares. I was wondering why.”

Marty nods slowly. “I slept next to you.” He turns to the table and puts his goggles back on. He flexes his fingers before grabbing a beaker and pours a clear liquid inside. I jot down how much. He doesn’t look at me. “You started whimpering after you fell asleep. When I touched you it stopped.”

“So you held me all night?”

He doesn’t look at me. “Something like that.”

I want him to look at me. Something’s going on with him. Friends don’t act this way. Mel would have woken me up. Marty’s shoulders are so tense. I touch his arm gently. He fumbles the beaker and drops it. The contents spill on the counter as the beaker rolls in a circle. He swears and darts across the room for paper towels. The cabinet where they are supposed to be is empty. “I’ll be right back.”

I sit back down on my stool and stare at the spill.

The girl behind me clears her throat. I turn and look at her. “He’s into you, you know.”

I smile at her and shake my head. “Nah, he’s into guys.”

She smirks and looks down at her worksheet. She measures and writes the answer before saying, “That may be, but he’s totally into you, too. He’s always looking at you like you’re too good to be true. It’s the puppy love face. He’s got it bad.”

She’s crazy. I laugh and feel really uncomfortable. “He does not.”

“Well, don’t say you didn’t know when he makes a move on you. If you shoot him down, it’ll crush him. And from the looks of it, you guys are friends. He probably doesn’t want to screw things up.”

I start to say something but Marty walks in with a roll of paper towels. The girl said what I already know, but I still can’t believe it. I can’t see it. I can’t picture Marty pining over me. I can’t picture him kissing me or anything else, either. It’s too weird.

After he cleans everything up, he says, “So, you working this weekend?”

It seems cruel to tell him. I mean, if he likes me hearing all this has got to be killing him. “Marty?”

He looks up. “Yeah?”

I almost say it. I almost ask, but I can’t. I don’t want to lose him. I couldn’t handle it. I smile and lower my gaze. “Yeah, I’m working, but I wish I wasn’t.”

Marty gives a weak smile and goes back to work. We finish the assignment in silence. After we put everything away and leave the lab, Marty walks next to me. My heart is beating too fast. My palms are slick and hot. I grip my books tighter and hold them against me. The sky is gray, like it might snow again.

Marty stops. He reaches out and takes my elbow so I turn to him. The sun is weak and the air is cold. It’ll be night soon. “I need to tell you something.”

If I didn’t feel squeamish before, I do now. I don’t want him to say it. I have no idea what to do if he does. “Oh?” My mind is reeling, trying to backpedal out of this mess. I glance around frantically, looking for anyone walking by that I might know.

“Yeah, it’s important.” I glance up at him. Looking into his eyes, I silently plead Don’t do it…Don’t, don’t, don’t. He breaks my gaze and looks down at the ground between us. “Every time I go to say it, something happens, but I have to tell you. I need for you to know.”